Archive for women

Players Mist

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , , , , on January 22, 2012 by ichas8440

L.A., where everyone has something to say.  Especially with regard to the terms pertaining to the “Big D” of Kobe & Vanessa Bryant were made public.  “V” departed with three mansions and 75 mil after hangin’ in for 10 yrs and a day.  Oh yeah, minus the pre-nup which is usually standard operating conditions were major money is generated by one of the other, V stepped like many females would love to.  Did she play Kobe because she knew of his activities way before the women running in her circle decided to bust Kobe out and tell her what they felt she needed to know?  Did Kobe play himself because of his failure to put the pre-nup in place way before V put in 10 and a day satisfying cali law pertinent to marriage?

My questions is, who played who?  It was alleged that Kobe participated in way too much extra curriculum outside his marriage, while V wouldn’t even consider it.  Maybe yes maybe no, I won’t speculate on who did what.  Or, who played who.  The qualifying factors gathered in defining “Player“, oh yeah; is in everybody.  This I do know, no matter who you are, where you wanna align yourself, you have an agenda.  Some are straight-up in your face, a la “This Is How I Do It“.  While you have those who engage the opposite sex, “smile ‘an profile” yet never even blink at the idle impressions of indiscretions.  Then, bam.  You’re hit with all these allegations and while you try to get a grip on what it is you are confronted with, the legal folks are dippin’ deep into your pockets.  Never once being recognized for who and what they are, only perceived as representing their client during a time of despair.

What is goin’ on?  What is really going on!  I’ll tell ya cause you really ain’t tryin’ to recognize the real.

Everyone is playing in one fashion or form.  Playing for position, playing to place.  Like a horse race, you’ve got to show to place, and if you cannot place you will not be in a position to ever win.  Straight-that!

People love to recite this term “Play on Playa“.  I hear it when I’m strolling in the park, sighting while enjoying the mall, I’ve even heard the same term while standing in the rear of most corporate elevators watching others board.  Then there are those who’ve incorporated another way of phrasing this term, which goes like this; “You Playa You‘”.  As for this latter one, the person reciting it can usually be found with a somewhat perplexing facial expression, almost as if wanting immediate recognition but not sure if they will get it.  Urban lexicon especially those germane to American English define a Player as one who manipulates women to gain the sexual or financial advantage.  Personally I know exactly what a Player is and…  “Real Talk” there is no distinction with the application of the word based on race, sexual orientation or gender.  I guess things are applied according to what is favorable or.  Who’s writing the story and how what it is as your subject of contention has impacted you; positive or negative.

When narrow-minded ones calculate their steps while crossing my path, occasionally I hear the mumbling of words under their breath.  Words which make up a sentence such as, “I know he’s a Player“, “Oooh girl look at how he is dressed, and check his swag, he’s gotta be a Player“.  These are the types I just wanna say, “‘itch you don’t even know me“, but.  Like a seated Judge who must recluse themselves because they know more about what is actually being present, I do the same.  Yeah, some who are in the mix, running their mouths, really have no idea of what’s really evolving.

Check this, define “hater“.  Hold-up, don’t even engage but allow me.  Hater; one who is envious and re-acts from a position of ignorance.

Check this too, when you think no body is looking at you, what do you really think and do?

Psssss;  Life, it’s a constantly evolving situation.  Maybe, just maybe I’m finally in the mix, revolving right along with those who are meant to…  Evolve.


“Malika’s Moves”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , , , , on March 1, 2011 by ichas8440

”Salmon; best served wild!”

There are some extra-ordinary women who just make you wanna stop and stare.  Call it an allure, see them as fascinating; just remember this.  No matter how you verbally define ‘em, you see them!

The life-sustaining properties of salmon are known throughout the world, so much so ‘til scientist have even gotten into The Game.  Today, the big thing is genetical modifications; the changing of everything in the name of supporting life.  Regardless of how you flip it, salmon will be un-sustainable in its natural form.  Hummm, much like women.

Today everything seems to be headed the way of genetical modifications.  Demand is at such an all time high ’til it’s created an interest from the field of science.  Funny, most Scientists don’t look or even act like their character depictions shown on T.V.  And…  This is who’s taken up the new designs of women!  When you see Silver Screen Scientists they are ultra-cool & totally beyond anything reflected in the real world.  They always arrive at an answer for every aspect of the life as we live it.  But…  Don’t get it twisted, many creations seen on T.V. don’t have any real connections to what is.  Still, I believe in some of what science has discovers, but when it comes to the Inneractions/Communications between He&She, there are factors science won’t ever include in their assessments.  Hence…  You get monsters like the genetical modified salmon.  Especially obvious when aligned with the original.

Women love to compare men to the likes of a Don Juan and that infamous Bad Ass Billy.  Yet, when man compares “woman” to other women, the one in the mix for obvious reasons can’t accept it.  Demands not to be compared with anybody!  Whoa, is this a double standard or what?  Doesn’t matter, She&He think while acting totally different no matter the case, issue or situation!

When I first met Malika the “Dance Of Deception” was non stop.  For those on the outside looking in, we were fabulous.  Behind closed doors, the story was following a different script altogether.  Time passed and for me, it was movin’ way too slow.  She felt the same but as we all know, women love to “play it hard” (reads, they’ve got it, know exactly what they’re doin’ so don’t push).  Her perception was fine with me as I had plenty of forward gears and in awareness of this, easily slipped into full throttle.

“Peeling it back”, I reached deep deep down inside her chest, came out with “heart in hand” and watched her as she sat there mystified.  (Reads, switched gears right in the middle of listening to her serve me with even more drama, and…  Suddenly stopped playing on her level while psychologically moving completely into mine)

After she experienced another degree of what she knew I was about, we moved continuously and everything else was heavenly.

“Secret Stuff…  Ooooh Yeah” gave all a glimpse into another.  Her name; omitted out of respect.  Still, she once upon a time was totally “on deck”.  Now I come with “Milika’s Moves”. The sequence in presentation is important because the woman who motivated “Secret Stuff…  Ooooh Yeah” was livid when associated with…  Malika.  Oh, she was so in love she couldn’t be stopped from pleasuring me.  Forever did things that…  If inquired about today, she’ll immediately suffer from a case of selective memory recall, but…  On the comparison side, don’t tell her she was in any way like another female.

Many times I employ situations blossoming from people, places and things that are germane to; whom it is I’m in association with in order to arrive at a particular point.  Very few FOLK can handle this association because…  Well, their individuality seems to become threatened.  This isn’t surprising to me because few FOLK know who they actually are.  If these FOLK did know who they were and held such powerful awareness of individualism why the threat!  Salmon, hummm, keeps comin’ up if you ask me.

During the initial stages of a relationship you have two who are completely in-sync.  Everything begins with the risin’ sun and won’t even set when the moon starts to burn bright.  Then, with the passage of time the novelty starts to evaporate and the transformation begins.  Reality doesn’t wear thin but perceptions become altered.  Every aspect of “you” is argued.  I’ve even heard the following applied to me.  “You’re not like anybody I’ve seen on television, you’re confusing me.  Why can’t you follow the script”. Quickest answer is possibly they’ve had way too many infusions applied by Scientists who aren’t who they appear to be while partaking in the ingestion of genetically modified salmon!  You know false applications of anything will result in viruses un-foreseen in any-bodies time.

Women can be heard around the world saying they can’t find a good man.  Men have issues too but…  Men continue along, goin’ up in most women they meet and seldom slow their roll to contemplate “fittin’ in where they have gotten in”.  So it seems, He&She can’t find the goodness they seek no matter what’s at stake.  My response to all this has always been straight up.  “Are you a quality woman”, and to the man.  “Will you ever step up and stop allowing those so-called friends of yours to stop defining who she is for you”

This environment of today which has defined the union between He&She is vastly different than the one “Moms & Pops” came up in.  Violence has emerged from the closet and taken center stage.  Hidden agendas rise with the realities of what’s comin’ out of these closets while propelled He&She towards others who have created a confusing set of dynamics at best!  Those subtle nuances as in fine distinctions that define who one is won’t ever be touched through cloning, no matter the association.  So now that this is known does He&She have any chance of survival?

“Malika’s Moves”, best analogy for clarification would be like salmon.  Delicious in every way, but.  If you aren’t aware of the intricacies defining the delicacy of the basic nature, you are bound to mess up whatever way it (reads she) comes.

Malika was what is known as “Game Tight”. (Reads very smooth, somewhat manipulative but otherwise remarkable)  Those 3 B’s of hers were in full effect.  She was very…  Shall I say, capable and recognizing of what was really goin’ on between us!

When someone is associated with another it may not be a direct comparison as much as it is a revelation.  Pointing out what one may have not seen or recognized about themselves!  But then again, maybe many don’t like the comparison/association thing because they actually aren’t…  Ready to kick it up a level, hummm.

Somebody once said to me they couldn’t find an adult conversation, despite of circulating amongst many of their city’s most prominent people.  Before I could get a word in they added, “Don’t you find this interesting”.  The “last word” always gets me because it is those words that come from a place revealing much about one’s actual state of mind.  Now when talking to someone and the person (s) engaging me comes back with the reply of “interesting” I know instantly they weren’t hearin’ me or.  Were so far outta their pay-grade ‘til they knew we weren’t even in the same psychological hemisphere.

When one says “interesting” believe me on this, even if they are considering what ’cha said, they haven’t ventured out as far on the matter as you.  And probably can’t!

Psssss; The really good stuff.  After completing this piece I eased into my bedroom and noticed her peeking out from under the sheets tryin’ to get a glimpse of me.  She didn’t know I saw her and when I tip-toed around to get a closer look, she faked as if asleep.  I gave out this enormously robust laugh that it shook the walls of the house.  She laid perfectly still but I could have sworn I saw her eyelids flutter.  The next morning we sat down to breakfast and if she could have slapped me she would have, the anger was boiling.  I calmly looked at her, leaned in closer and closer and just as i could taste her scent, I kissed her on the cheek while saying.  “Such anger, where does this…  Madness arise from?”

Come… Lay With Me

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , , , on February 8, 2011 by ichas8440

“These 3 words”, sorta’ like those other three words.  They say a picture captures more than words, okay, if all you are is based on visuals.  Now when you are all inclusive as in being a total package yourself; words go straight to the heart.  Mainly because you are fully capable of absorbing them!

Sometimes, when words are expressed their value gets caught-up in all the clutter of one’s life.  I call it mess because these 3 words usually come before one has had a moment in which to apply that commitment test.  Such is life, but still…  There is a chance you can get it right.

If you read my recent post entitled “Secret Stuff…  Ooooh Yeah”, then you know I touched on the issues discovered when one gets into throwin’ things while living in a glass house.  As a result of “those tossing’s”.  More things have hit the fan within the lives of those used to define the situations within that piece.  Not that I wanted to add to their mess but again; such is life.  Now that another Holiday is quickly approaching I feel the need to…  “Breath on y’all again”

“What holiday you say?” Valentines Day.

As in all Holidays, they arrive every year, without delay.  This year, I take it upon myself to put it out there like its ‘pose to be.  Yeah, some of those in my corner recently approached me and said.  “G can’t say you’re anal retentive but you are damn close to it.  But ‘cha really know how to make a woman forget the mess while seeing you at your best!” Needless to say, I like being recognized for doin’ something right.  Her point was in reference to Valentines.  A day of love, but also a day where most just follow the norm.  Status quo as in scripted love!

I have a question, “What topics attract the most?” Don’t trip, confuse yourself while trying to answer something that is rhetorical.  Do this, reflect on the context that these three words are found within and you’ll have the answer.

Some only express these 3 words when under the influence of intoxications.  Others…  Say those three words when their feet are cold and warmth is the motivation.  Regardless of when they erupted from your mouth, the affect is the same despite the scene or setting in which they float on the air.  And check this, if you are one of the lucky ones who happens to be the recipient, well you know the power of…  These three words!

Valentines Day.  Color, Red.  Edibles in play, chooo-coooooo-lat’.  Red within Western Society connotes division.  I don’t ascribe to this nonsense because I’m not that type of Warrior, I like the Oriental understanding of this color which symbolizes good luck.  With chocolate, it was cultivated while being refined by the Mayans, a real Super Power from way way back in the day.  Chocolate once reserved for use by the powerful during ceremonial events eventually trickled down to the masses.  Being the Romantic One, I’m of the minds set that associates this sharing as a result of knowing the aphrodisiacal powers of the product.  Yeah, the more it was “given to the masses” the less inhibited they would be to whatever the proposal will be!  See this as manipulative, I don’t think the Mayans cared so why should I.  Save your hatin’ for those who worry about haters. Life is best lives like this.  “When you intend to make a difference you’ve gotta think way outside of the norm.” Maybe this is why so many “fall on their sword” and can’t get back up!

“Falling on one’s sword”, a metaphor coming from way back when…  When people took their own lives rather than allow for the capture of their being.  Disgraced, publicly humiliated by He or She who was victorious.  Well flip the script, during Valentines Day who is more “clowned”, meaning ridiculed, teased behind their backs?  The one who misses the point or the one who pushes the point!

Disgraced, humiliated…  All relative.  I speak about the causes & affects of stupidity within a relationship because I’ve really been there.  You will only fall on your sword and rise again if…  If and when you know what you stand on & for will support you no matter what!

Valentines Day, synonymous with romance!  Valentines Day, power day for those who understand the play.  “I’m not Player”, (read exactly as written).  “I…  Definitely know how to play.” Hummm, maybe that’s why I am forgiven each and every day, especially after Valentines Day!

Psssss;  These three words.  I’ve heard ‘em come in the form of; “I love You”.  Not to be confused with the love spelled “luv” which really means “we are just friends”. Usually deployed by someone looking for way more than they are willing to give.  As in someone who is really comin’ to you as an imposter.  I’ve also heard these 3 words formulated like I started the piece with; “lay with me”.  Reserved & only used when one has made another feel sooooo good they don’t want ‘cha to leave and…  As a compliment, seductively say…  Come.  Lay with me…

Can You Break Up A Relationship

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology with tags on March 17, 2010 by ichas8440

This is truly a redundant statement normally pondered by those who don’t wanna think.  Well, I’ve given it much thought and maybe.  Just maybe when I was in that research mode, there were way too many relationships that I dispatched with the quickness.  This to any other man would have pushed him to the brink of assumed supremacy.  Not me.  I took it in stride knowin’ that one day I would have to deal with my conscious.  I’m still waiting.

Whenever I do hear this question, immediately…  Images of a courtroom appear within my mindset.  I see this wise ‘ol Judge presiding over two warring opponents.  One is amazed with himself as he defends…  (Seated to this lawyer’s left is a defendant who doesn’t wanna be there and hasn’t shown the slightest bit of interest in his lawyers’ presentation).  The argument comes in the way of a question posed by this stalwart representative of those accused.  “My client doesn’t have tha capacity to commit murder therefore the crime couldn’t have been carried out by my client.”

A cleverly crafted response meant to deflect, causing one to ponder their own capacity of what is sanity under duress.  But…  It is so effective.

Every relationship, their’s, yours, mine, is forever in flux.  I like to see them from the perspective of a good cold soda.  Pop it open and you get that instant fizz.  Stimulating to the audible receptors, relaxing to the “Wide Receiver” who ultimately kicks back while emotionally floating away with the full recognition of a good thing.  But then, let the soda sit, absorbing the air and eventually it will go flat.  The result of a chemical reaction you say?

A relationship is all chemical and don’t get it twisted.  Those that work are created by those who “understand the blend”.  The mixing of great elements that have the full ability of taking and keeping you on another level altogether or…  Becoming toxic at the slightest change of…  Flava if you will.  Any union has a foundation in which the temperament can be found and gauged.  Wanna know if you’re a candidate for any outside interference that will implode your relationship?  Go back to the base which is the beginning.  Vibe off the foundation while checking your temperament.  It will be there that you identify your temperature and its possibilities of combustible ranges!

When He or She becomes confronted with those “exotic blends” known as “Rushin’ Eye Balls & Roamin’ Hands”, don’t be so quick to accuse the Newbie on the scene.  Anyone committed to another can and will be intoxicated by things external.  The mindset needed to rise above this “invisible stimuli” is to know that where there is smoke…  Or the remnants of fire, some damage has occurred.  Knowing this simple reality of life should make you deal with it before hand by maintaining what it is you have committed to.  Don’t get burned, sticking your lips out as you whine and say, “that M.F. stole what was mine”.

Committed means you have to be “In It To Win It”.  It’s not a situation limited to the boundaries of a simple date.  Recognize what’s at stake.  Be aware of who and what is out there.  And…  Don’t trip off the ones hiding in the shadows sending those stares to yours, attempting to intimate that they care and your’s needs to make  a move in their direction.  Ya’ feel it don’t cha!

Psssss; “What does all this have to do with InnerPersonal Communications?”  I don’t know, you tell me.  I’ve run ’em off but nobody has every slid up on mine and whisk ’em away because I was so caught up in myself.

WorkPlace Romance “The Prequel”©

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , , , , on October 15, 2009 by ichas8440

“Okay, I’m in it, now…  Can I win it?”

In the fairy tale “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”, the 7 sing a song about going off to work.  Based on their obvious audible glee, facial expressions, you’d think they are happy and satisfied.  Now, factor in Reality 5.0 followed by the removal of emotions governing the self and you’ll know those Dwarfs are totally aware that no body wins.  Especially under the conditions and circumstances they have to contend with.  7 into one; hummm.  Breaks down all th time but cannot be consummated at the same time.

HomebaseBayAreaThe public perception of a workplace romance is that a course has been charted, set and taken.  All that remains is for that course to come to its conclusion.  How the workplace romance started will determine how it ends.  Win or lose is all subjective.  Those who go into one and don’t have a significant other in a holding pattern outside the workplace may feel they’ve succeeded because of the secondary acquistion.  But…  If that relationship was based on mere sex, it will always lack the ties that are needed to bind.  If not one, then both will occasionally reflect on the others actual depth to interest and cause of commitment.  This will be where the seeds of discourse will plant themselves.  Friction follows and eventually do what it does.  Erode the foundation!

There is another scenario, in fact many.  But I will stick with these few provided.  If either of the two are true in knowing the realities of He & She, then they will know if lies were part of the equation, the doom is only relative to the coming of the passage of the novelties expiration date.  Now place respect on the horizon, allow it to show glimpses of itself during the flirtatious period…  Right, the chances of success are greater because discretion would have come into play before any decisions of exposure with regard to the physical engagement would have been decided on.

Now, for those who can handle the truth.  I give you the truth

Workplace romances are a given.  Someone posed an analogy using the desire to have an apple, which was supplemented when they saw an orange.  This quickly vanished when the banana came on the scene, and the pretty yellow thing was zapped!  Ejected for the sweet, succulent flavors of the kiwi.  I quickly recognized the transition play, which…  Was what every motivation to engage is based on.  A play without the need to stick with what is you!

Life is like a card game, even when you know there are 52 cards in a single deck, the game won’t be limited to the fifty-two switches that are known, and needed to play and win.  In the workplace romance, there are switches known.  There are switches that are obvious no matter the degree of ones involvement.  Then…  You have those switches that are, disguised.  Hidden and very seldom revealed to prying eyes.  Whoa, did I slip and forget to mention the subtle injection of racial implication based on social norms?  Silly me.

Recall I told ‘ya I did this?  You assumed my meaning was that I did the apple and never consider the orange.  Hate to burst the image but I wouldn’t, couldn’t; discriminate.  Color didn’t slow my desires.  Pay grades…  I went below mine and above theirs.  What I had not consider was the mentality of those with me or around me.  You know how you can be with something, involved with everything, but…  Remain detached from all that appears to be consuming you.  Well that was me.  Atypical personality, but personal to the point of that moral code being forever present within my psyche’.

Truth be told, females and males of different races are no different than males and females of different cultures.  When one of theirs steps away from the village everyone applauds.  Praises them for having the vision, showing the courage and being principled enough to venture forth and be all they can be.  The real is this support is public display of Drama!  African Americans, Asians, Italians, even Mesopotamians…  Are not sooooo accepting when it is about splittin’ thighs while screams such as, “oh, ahhh, oh my, God bless America, can be heard piercing the silence.   This disdain for what’s now out in the open even extends to those who are invited to the fake wedding party!

Oh, you say I sound jaded?  If you even think about mentioning being jaded, miss me altogether.  I told you all I don’t exist in this life, I live life.  So, hold up on the jaded thing, okay.

Today our President is of mixed heritage.  What’s goin’ on with this!  It’s not about his decisions that causes the uproar within the masses.  When he publicizes that he’s about to appear and address the children of our nation, the haters come out droves.  And it isn’t because of the content of what he’s bringing to the table.  It’s that he should have known better, (based on them), that he isn’t sitting down at the table.  The color thing has clouded those who feel they can assess his character!  And guess what, the same goes for workplace romances.  You are damned if you take it to the level of the 5th phase and think you will be granted a pass.

Something else just donned on me that I must speak on.  If you don’t understand any of this because we are a nation of multiple mixed people, and you feel that reality precludes my conclusions.  Hey really, I don’t care.  I’ve been there and have done it.  And…  I’m still standing.

Psssss.  Workplace anything is best left at work!

“Male to Male; In The Field Of Game Lords©”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , on March 18, 2009 by ichas8440

Spoony.  Spoony, Spoony, Spoon!  Here you have a good man.  Works, but I won’t tell you what he does.  Yet, I am pleased to say that what he does, he’s successful at and this success goes beyond materialism.  “The ATL” is the region that he lays his head, and it is his wife who made the initial contract with me.  Still, I am pretty certain that the desire to dialogue with me was prompted by the changes within the household atmosphere he politely refers to as “The Dominium”.  Yes, I would agree, when you understand the dynamics of communications, a cloudy, rainy day always holds excitement.

When Spoony reached out to me to to let me know of his arrival, I didn’t make any efforts to find an excuse not to see him.  Even though most who do what I do may of felt seeing or speaking with the significant other of the one they are seeing would create a conflict of interest.  Naw, with me I know what it is to be professional…  Professional to the point of not crossing any lines, even the invisible ones!  But, this didn’t prevent me from cross referencing the bank account number that his wife routes my fees from.  Un hun, his name was primary on that routing number.

He arrived during the night and after dis-embarking from his flight, Spoony said he’d like to experience a strip club.  Ok, so I whizzed him over to Caesars’ Palace.  After a brief moment inside where many women dressed in some very exotic period pieces, he corrected me on the strip thing.  Understanding his words much more clearly, we quickly got into the car and proceeded to the Spearmint Rhino Gentlemen’s Club.  Securely behind their doors we opted for some privacy, got it and seemingly kicked back to enjoy the T&A show.  Spoony must have realized that I wasn’t feelin’ the spot, because he leaned over to me and asked if everything was ok.  I gave that typical response that everyone does so as not to offend, but he read right through it.  So off we go to another location.  This particular spot had an Asian theme.

Lunai’s was a location I truly appreciated, it had that interior ambience that was conducive for a lot of activities.  Plus, it wasn’t full of visual distractions, such as scantly dressed enticement’s.  It was here that the questions began.  “Hey man, Spearmint Rhino’s a little too much for you?” The question I heard, but this wasn’t a question and I sorta’ got that sense immediately.  He was on a mission, still I answered him.  “Nope, I’m just not so into those locales.” What he and I were engaged in could have been viewed as a sporting event.  Two B.Ball players with me being the one who just entered the paint, faking him out of position with ease.  But as in any event you have two sides creating two different attitudes of approach.  It was his turn to come again.  “Angela is feelin’ you man, she loves what ‘cha do.” Smilin’ to myself but only because this man was good, I was back on defense but I wasn’t about to have my ankles broke.  Kobe Bryant he wasn’t!  Without displaying any signs of agitation I used a diversion by glancing over to the big butt Asian woman who was lurking behind him at the Sushi bar.  Winked at her and said to Spoony.  “Yes, I make it a point to send her back to you knowin’ what to expect.”

“Shift like an Aston Martin and keep it smooth while you stay with me, okay.”  Which is exactly what I was about to make Spoony do.  Stay focus, pay attention to where I was goin’ and not get caught up in the method of delivery.

Now, as I mentioned; Spoony was on a mission.  His purpose was to define the type of man I was and while at it, find out if his woman had been true to those vows she expressed back in the day.  “You know what I mean”. But, back to my presentation, if he’d been of the nature to take flight, those feathers would have been too ruffled to ascend.  Yes, he was definitely in his feelin’s by what he’d just heard.  Still, we were two men.  Not males.  So that competitive posturing was kept in our reserve capacities.  He simply inhaled and said.  “Man if you are hittin’ that just go on and tell me.  And if you hadn’t…  Well, lie to me ’cause since she’s been in therapy with you things are different at home.  So, if it ain’t you, I’m dead in the water ’cause I don’t know who it could be!”

Man to man, I enjoyed this one.  He wasn’t confrontational, he wasn’t out to prove anything.  Spoony came correct.  Not once did we engage in that male to male dynamic that leads to that alpha male syndrome.  He was at a loss with regard to his woman and merely sought out the most likely candidate.

In seeing were he was comin from, I immediately addressed that therapy thing.  I don’t do mental health per ‘se and I wasn’t comfortable with the indication.  “Practicing medicine without a license…  Oh no.” From that point we touched on the crisis he felt was happening in his house.  With his insight, he was no where near the mismanagement point within his relationship, and he agreed with me on this.  I should have know that he would.  I mean, look at how he approached me with his concerns.  He came with an understanding of how to arrive at a positive level so that him and I could move our communications forward.  I said he was good.

In continuing, I did see that by what I said, he had gained insight as to how to better deploy crisis intervention.  If I had been wrong after this meeting and once over our clash, he’d head home with full battle stance being the order of the day.  Still and all he was right in his…  Plan to understand the change in his significant other.  Spoony knew that communications were based on listening, hearing and paying attention to who is talking with you.  What they are saying and what point they are trying to make.  He also knew that I wasn’t into T&A and my reaction at Spearmint’s was anticipated.  Basically he just had to be sure.

As for speaking up on “getting with his woman”.  I cannot say.  I mean if mine was seeing someone and stressed it was on a professional basis, but gave every indication otherwise…  Made me think…  Imagine for one second that she had “served him”, I’d go crazy.  Insanely crazy because I would know that it would just be a matter of time before he’d be bangin’ on my front door.  Screamin’, pleadin’ and demanding that I take her back because he couldn’t deal with her and the seductive powers she had.  Powers and persuasions reserved for teasing not pleasing!  Yes, I’d go crazy because I’d know that I’d have to prepare for her drama once again.  But…  Like I mentioned, Spoony was good, I’m good.  “Like the B. Ball player, I can rain 3’s all day!” Which is to say, he nor I re-visited the issue about hittin’ that.  Feel me!

Psssss. There are ways in which men speak to each other that defines their awareness of self and kind.  Then, there are ways that women speak to men and to other women that will not be categorized, at least not now.  Still, these are the independent and inescapable dynamics of InnerPersonal Communications.  He to He, She to She, sometimes just you & I.  We miss much because we’re too busy jousting for position.  Still, we know of these dynamics and can feel the vibe.  Especially when it’s un us not to really wanna change something.  Spoony wasn’t about to change a ‘thang.  Maybe he just wanted to get away from “The ATL”.  And if this was the case, he should have known that Vegas with the T&A spots doesn’t have a ‘thang on “The Dirty South!