Archive for Vogue

Man Cave

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , on February 26, 2010 by ichas8440

“Man Cave”, descriptive term.  Meaning; The private sanctuary for man to…  Prepare for battle!

My man Conte’ was much like Dantes’ Peak.  He was about to blow.  As in the story, his beauty was usually found at a subterranean level.  Presently, he was over saturated by the emotional devastation he said, “Had been all her fault”.

Again, like Dantes’ Peak, he sought a release from the bubblin’ pressures.

His plea for resurrection hadn’t fallen on deaf ears.  The pain registering in him was immediately internalized by me.  The woman who made hm shake in the knees was now…  Of the ranks of the M.I.A..  Her whereabouts unknown and she didn’t appear on anyone’s radar.  But…  If anyone was aware of her presence, it would be Conte’ who felt her pulse.  As he shared this all too familiar tale, I could only sit in silence as I gave him my full attention.

Conte’ didn’t qualify for that elite club known as“The Rich & implosive” nor did he have the foresight to stash something away for that rainy day.  Now, the storm had arrived and for him this was an anticyclone.

Retribution was all he sought.  She had “brought that ass”, now he wanted to kick that ass!  It mattered little that it would be her blood that would be spilled.  It didn’t matter that she was once the vision of his dreams.  The cause of the sparkle which filled his eyes.  Conte’ spun the most Machiavellian ways in which to torture her with the conclusion being…  Dispatching her to his boyz, who would deliver the ultimate disgrace because, as he said.  “This bitch can’t do me like any ‘ol regular.  I got something for her the likes she ain’t even lookin’ for.”

Right, like I said, this was a tale I could feel because…  I’m not afraid to admit it, I’ve been there.  We’ve all been at that threshold known as the fifth phase where nothin’ matters but “YOU”.  Nothin’ matters but beating some ass because in the grand finale’ you’ve been removed as the star of your very own production.  Yet, with me there was a difference.  While contemplated the mental state of Conte’s Ex., knowing that right about now she could be anybody’s because she wanted “some get back” too, and I could be anybody’s.  Well, I knew that my mental lapse in thinking, wouldn’t change a ‘thang.

“Morbid assessments?” Hell no.  “Realistic conclusion?” Yes.  These aren’t primal thoughts but images that dance through mostly everyone’s imagination given the circumstances.  Whether it is admitted or not.  Good thing my ascension was permanent because I could easily have slipped back to those depths, but I knew I coldn’t placate Conte’ by agreeing to mentally engage or participate in the reduction of another human being.

This scene is played out each and every day.  The reality is that you don’t  have to wait on the latest media release to find out about it.  Just observe your surroundings.

Today, I was smooth to the point of identifying Conte’ way before he arrived.  As stated, he wasn’t rich so it was apparent the legal advice that flows freely to those within that group wasn’t available to him.  Those purported benefits of an in-place Palimony Agreement weren’t an option.  Pre-Nuptial, another tool missing from his arsenal.  Nothing there to soften the trauma.  Pretty-much here was someone who stepped off into the woods without knowin’ there were things lurking in the darkness, but…  I wasn’t about to condemn him for ignorance even when…  Professional they use the excuse; Ignorance is no excuse!

Unlike yesterday, life and “The Robber Barons” appear, today, in various forms.  As I listened to Conte, the betrayal experienced which had smashed his belief systems.  Without some serious damage being sent the way of his Ex., he’d have no satisfaction.  What could I do?  What should I say?

Got ‘cha.  That confusion resulting in such rambling thoughts isn’t me.  I knew what to do and I definitely had something to say which was simply; “Why Conte’?’

So she beat you to the courts securing that all-encompassing Restraint Order.  So what!  Once the pain of what she did wears off, you’ll be okay.  Besides, all she did was dig deeper into the bag of tricks you both knew was in the closet!  I didn’t even have to break down the basics of using such a judical tool because he knew the social damaging effect of that instruments was only in his mind.  Forget what the public thinks!  Conte’ spoke to me with his eyes and he expressed agreement.

One other thing I had to touch on was the humiliation delivered to her by his boyz which…  Wasn’t gonna satisfy him only those salivating male associates of his.  I told him about his seeking me out proved that he was beyond that ridiculous point of denial that creates such thoughts.  Hey, Conte’ sighed with relief and concurred for thesecond time.  Now I really like him.  Yes, “Intellect on Demand”, a much better presentation that men & women acting like monkeys throwin’ shit!

Enter My Man Cave

Even though we hadn’t stepped to the Causes and Effects of one’s re-actions based on romantic inclinations I knew this man had skills.  We clanged our shot glasses while listening to the sounds dissipating into the decor of my Man Cave.  Taking this…  Ambience, as a viable condition to touch on why most feminist don’t wanna hear where I’m coming from with regard to relationships between He & She, I continued.  In completing the picture I defined the dominate characteristics of the female participant who plays the role of “Butch”, equating her to those so-called friends of his Ex.  Well, he beat me to the point saying he knew all along they were undercover.  Just there, waiting like hanging bats for the moment to drive that wedge deeper between he and his woman.  For the sake of completion and so we didn’t drift back into darkness, I accepted his points, but…  Added that lesbians are like gay men, if it’s in ’em, it’s a part of them.  Nothing gained or lost as that is their reality.

Pushin’ it forward, I shared with him the fact that if his Ex. listened to them, well…  It wouldn’t be much he could do to counteract their words especially in the state  of mind that comes to one who feels they’ve been psychologically and emotionally abused.  He felt me and understood that the mental disposition of his Ex. wouldn’t allow her to engage with anyone short of those who came with empathy.  The motivations of those who she put on her team, at this point, weren’t a concern.

Whenver anyone is at a loss because of their mis-calculations it is paramount that they retreat.  Back off, think, evaluate and re-organize.  Maybe even throw the model out and come anew.

Men and women many times appear to think differently, yet…  There motivations are similar.  This is based on the society they come up in.  Conte’ was surrounded by a Cesspool and even if he came up for air, he’d still be swimmin’ in filth.

“Man Cave”, I exposed him to the interior of mine.  Now he understood how and where to find solace.

“Man Cave”, a place to become proficient in distinguishing fact from fiction.  Understanding the principles of Class versus Style.

It was here that we digested the differences of having substance of self in relations to just settling for what had been previously accepted as…  Being suitable.  I unveiled to him the realities of knowing what is personal and whatever she did, don’t take it personal even if what they had was deeply personal!  She, like him; re-acted.

In parting Conte’ said that he couldn’t pay for my intervention.  I smiled and knew he had no idea that by the mere usage of the word (intervention) I was paid in full.  Conte’ re-affirmed my belief in our ability to change in spite of the…  Fire inside!

Psssss; Yes, it would have been great to “get dat ass of his Ex.”, but which is better.  Rising to the occasion or failing because of the condition of your inability of comprehension!