Archive for Success

Letme Tell U Something

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , on November 2, 2012 by ichas8440

The call came in but I missed it.  She was whoopin’ that ass.  Weapon of choice, the reliable kitchen spatula.  He, morphed into a fetal position but.  Managed to activate the cell, reaching out to me.  One demand, “Immediate Recon, Evalu. Assess Situation and if need be, Full Psychological Intervention ASAP”.  Whoa, this had to be drastic and as I attempted to defuse the attack call, he asked why she used the spatula as a first response.  My explanation was simple, closest thing to acquire!

Later, situation under wraps, him attending to his bruised ego inquired as to how did I know what to do.  Again, short direct answer; It’s the little things.

She, now in a reserved mode, made mention of him not being aware of her calls for attention.  Knowin’ she could, at any moment resort back to a combative stance, understood those calls She referred to and nodded in agreement.

Comm lines within a relationship follow a simple ritualistic pattern

It was once asked of me how could I profess to be up on relationships when I wouldn’t even cop to havin’ a mistress.  My reply caused further anxiety to the self Anointed Inquisitor because I had no interest in qualifying even this inquiry.  Why?  Because, an affair, secondary FAM on the side, Bootylicious call, whatever you prefer to say it is,  also follows a certain ritualistic pattern.  One of deceit, cloak & dagger sorta lifestyle of which I partook in none.  So why seek understanding and visual support in something I wasn’t a part of?  Affairs are usually found listed under the stealthy category, and…  Like I said, I wasn’t hiding a ‘thang.  As for knowing what it takes to win at this, well…  Perfection is of The Gods dominion, I’m far from perfect so what I know is what ‘cha get.  Relationships, how to maintain one, remain in one, with the intention of one day ascending to at least the level of a Mini Demi type of God is…  All I can hope for and point anyone towards.  This, I definitely know.

Mistress, Maintenance Man, significant other, all provide a special something and this is so because of one factor.  “Familiarity“.  Spatula Girl immediately recognized what I was talkin’ about and gave me that visual recognition supporting her agreement.  He, caught-up in illusion appeared perplexed.  So I told him this.  “Everybody assumes I’ve changed those who’ve been with me when the real is.  I knew enough about me to know “they” had no interest in changing but…  Would publicly go along with whatever I designed.  This is called never siding with the enemy.”  Another key in unlocking the secrets of success as they pertain to He and She.

He” in his drive to find a better way to survive was down, but.  He wasn’t alone.  “She”, still holding her spatula decided to lodge a complaint.  Spoke up and against my main ‘thang.  The ‘Lil Woman.  She said.  “Why is she always so quick to tell me that tired story about how ya al met“.  Baby girl was treadin’ on some really thin ice but…  I refused to “tippy-toe” onto the sheet and watch her freeze her ass off.  Instead, “Ghetto Pass Time“, I deployed a pair of those marvelous deflector targets the military uses when under attack.  Oh, with me this wasn’t an evasive tactic, I just wanted to give her something to shoot at while she re-considered what happens when you step to the strongest with some weak shit, expecting to survive.

My words.  “Taking a trip down Memory Lane guarantees that hope will remain alive.  Where He & She is concerned “hope” is one of the best most humbling of virtues.  My girl is simply givin’ you a glimpse of how to keep the home fires burnin’ by not extinguishing hers.”

While both of ’em contemplated this last “deflecting blast” I decided to take it a step further.  Explained to them that violence was not the trigger releasing anything.  What was required was maybe a simple suggestion while focusing on what was deemed good within the other by “the other“.  Sorta like sayin’ something while accenting the positive and forgoing the negative.

They smiled, She relaxed the grip on the spatula and He sorta unfolded some from his fetal position and…  Not so soon.  Both of ’em where still in this fragile state and the comfort zone would only amp-up the resentment.  Possibly inflicting more pain than before.  To eliminate this state of mind I suggested that each of ’em use this false comfort zone and move to re-examine what really made ’em comfortable with one another.  It was through the introduction of this technique that each of ’em may see something in the other, becoming inspired to wanna do the date thing again.  Basic but real.  A point maker for all involved.

Quietly I stood up while easing my way outta this ex-war zone.  In starting my car, lookin’ back I noticed a warm glow emitting from within their home.  Maybe I was imagining all this and…  Doesn’t matter.  Even if I was, it was my situation so I could perceive it any way I wanted.  That’s the beauty in specializing and not seeking expert status.  You know what ‘cha know and don’t have to rise to anyone else’s expectations.  Besides, expecting anything usually leads to setting yourself up for failure.  When you are called, like I’m called during the middle of the night.  Intruded upon while spending quality time with my significant other, to those in distress, nothin’ else matters.  So even if I wanted to miss the call when it rings I know that whomever is calling knows.  Eventually I will show and once there.  Will do like Felix and reach into my bag of tricks.  Show ’em how much some one else cares hopin’ they will stop the nonsense and care.

Psssss;  The story is true.  Names were omitted in case the one pushing the violence decides I was wrong and comes lookin’ for me.  The dynamics of the story were gleamed from aspects of life itself.  Even if realized through another’s prism.


My Mistress ©

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , , , on August 30, 2012 by ichas8440

Everyone and no one was willing to deny me.  Those in rotation, a la friends, associates all knew the score but.  Not one would speak against me if and when we entered the public zone.  Cowards, every last one of them.  And the best part, I luv every one of them because much like she, they provided something required for my basic survival.

She could be viewed as a Sage.  Oh yes, when it came to my needs wants & desires, nothing trump them, and with non-stop vigor, she met every one of ’em.  Under similar circumstances a massage, for many was a treat seldom experienced.  With me the massage was a daily dish of delight and My Mistress, did it right.   During the sessions, be it morning moans, afternoon deep tissue groans, or late night affairs, she always had the understanding and…  Was willing to do it anywhere.  Stretched out, laying beneath her, eyes closed, never once did I imagine or consider mentally if she’d be the one to fill a need to smack me upside my head.  The Wifey, My Mistress, both knew of the existence of the other.  Awareness wasn’t something…  Hidden.  Especially where the life of another was held in the balance.

Those previously mentioned, the fake friends, wanna be associates.  Ones who hung with me and…  This is about where I’m purposely directing my presentation at those two-face males.  You know who your are.  Yep, coming under the guise of drinking pals, or to shoot a game of pool.  You know it was more of an occasion to sniff My Mistresses’ panties.  And…  Steal a glimpse of one of the Twins which seem to slip out and sorta’ wink at ‘cha with every turn of her body.  guess what, I gave you all a show and she obliged.  Your motivations for being in my circle, as hers, couldn’t, wouldn’t upset as I was merely serving my needs.  And yes, I knew you were having yours served too since your Wifey’s, Girlfriends, significant others wouldn’t give you the pleasures, unless.  It was “beddie by time” and within your scheduled rotation.  Relationships aren’t as complicated as those in relations attempt to portray them as.  Most of what is heard, said about relationships is the result of those who’ve missed the comforts they’ve sought from their actual involvement in…  The relationship.

As for the females who participated in my life during these, times, I haven’t neglected any of you.  Conniving to the Max.  Forever creating major drama in their own lives with verbal accusations slung around in the presence of Wifey.  Their words, erupting as they spun tales laced around feeble attempts.  Hoping to disrupt while persuading Wifey to stop.  Look at who I was, realizing during this examination it would be in her best interest to abort mission and eject.  Get smooth away from me and my “sexist shenanigans”.  Again, rhetoric.  Wasted dialogue on your part cause…  “She’s still here.”

What concerned me was knowing each of these women had deep seeded hidden agendas.  Many so scandalous, fueled by personal disillusions, I knew the danger was way too close.  These women, would plead with me to give ’em a moment with Wifey and always under the pretense of  being able to have that “woman to woman” minute.  From my point of perception, proposition, graciously accepted and all because.  The conclusion would be no different than all the times before.

Case in point, female in contention, in full Vixen mode.  Secretly conspiring on a solo level to make that move to conquer, or, so she plotted.  As stated, I bowed out, the attention of Wifey sustained.  Vixen in disguise made her move to penetrate Wifey’s mind but not ever realizing she wasn’t on for confrontation or really listening to Vixens’ drama.  One, two glasses of wine later, Wifey bowed out too.  Retiring to the comforts of her boudoir.  Vivacious Vixen, assuming she’d achieved something, appears.  Carrying two refreshed glasses of bubbly.  One for her the other for me.  Presents her wares on demand, and always under the pretext of wanted to know why all these other women outside of Wifey found “Yours Truly ” so tantalizing.

Tantalization.  It’s a subjective thing that some use to…  Let’s say, explore those areas of life they really wanna be about but due to society’s ever revolving fake ass morale compass, Vixens and those like ’em can’t succeed without.  An excuse.  Crafty they are and their best excuse is.  “Let’s talk about your life and how I can save you.  You know, the explorations and experimentation of why you and those who follow you find you so…  tantalizing.”

How does he come to these conclusions?”  Because.  When enjoying those massages compliments of My Mistress, eyes open, secure in who I am.  My thoughts were super-imposed right along the wall directly in front of me.  She, tapped, kneaded, stroked while smoothing to elongate my tight muscular body, creating a relaxed atmosphere, allowing me to…  Calmly examine and re-visit all those who had.  Personally visited my life.  And it was within the quick glimpses of life lived, I was able to clearly see the motivations of others along with myself.

Truthful?”  By all means.  When you lie to yourself it doesn’t matter cause there, residing deep within your consciousness is…  “You!”  No matter how you wanna see the picture, you know the scene.  The colors, textured ambiences which won’t be  denyed it.

As for the projections and portrayals of your co-staring cast, your truthfulness ushers in defined disciplines, allowing you a remarkable window in which affording you an ability to identify and determine if they are…  Acting or giving you what is…  Truly them.

My massages weren’t just about the eroticism of the whole experience.  My Mistress for whatever reason, was attuned to me.  Her touch, was what I needed.  The raising of my calf wasn’t done in the typical methodical method.  She, in coming into my life, knew who she’d be onto me.  Precognitive?  Alright, I’m cool with that, a true interest in knowing what she did and why ’til.  The comfort level was only exceeded by the touch.  Oh yeah, the touch.  A missing element required for the sustainability of any relationship.  Maybe, within the mind of My Mistress it was for the physical connection.  Maybe, just knowing another was there was the reason it work. For whatever reason, she knew, we’d thrived in every endeavor once that physical connection was…  Applied.  And she and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Mistress.  Sometimes the word is used to define one who is intrusive.  A word of negative connotation.  Again, my choice of wording in this is Sage.  Like Woman residing on one level of the femininity scale, being just a tad above female.  Mistress can be viewed in this same sense.  Those I’ve shared my life with, female, woman, Lady, Mistress, Sage, all one in the same, yet…  Depending on who one is, is the only defining factor as to what one will be onto me.  All others, perceptions of some drama filled ideas having no relevance to what actually is.  Wifey, significant other, seldom understand the importance of the touch.  They don’t even recognize the causes and affects of a stimulating convo which is why.  Mistress many times trumps all.

To some, this has a color reflective of Sexist.  Again, I am “He” which is “Thee“.  Call it the male in me whose ascended to man and in being “Man” I don’t care about the labels.  Labels don’t define the quality of anything, they only established value based on…  Yes, societies norms.  So, to attempt social qualifications of my words based on societies labels, miss me.

A friend I’ve not seen in many years, reappeared.  Lost and confused.  Wants her “things” back.  Things as in monetary value of her life’s possessions.  In deep discussion with her Hubby, he added to his Wifey’s dilemma.  Appraising me of some way out intimate stuff.  This Intel gave me a feel for where they actually descended to leading me to suggest something new.  Giving ’em a way to re-connect while.  Trying something new.  I advised ’em to go.  Seek the involvement of a total stranger and once that stranger was identified, go into a role playing mode.  Convince this other to participate and perform a full body massage.  The catch, woman for Hubby and male for Wifey.  Once his Wifey heard this she resorted to saying she knew I was a freak from way way back.  But.  The proposition had merit and she was definitely Game, fully capable of doin’ it.  It was after the engagement of the demonstration where she personally observed the explosive emotional and psychological expressions displayed by Hubby.  That revealed to her a better understanding of me.  Off the chart but this is what she got out of her experience.

Previously she, in her own thoughts, like the many others, assumed I was full of myself.  Arrogant, conceited and basically just about me.  Maybe, just maybe all her new conclusions were based on her lost of material wealth, but.  Even if it was, the situation I presented, created a circumstance making her face and…  Re-examine the life she thought she led.  Possibly, all these new beliefs were a motivation spawned by her final dip into a pool she knowingly knew was already inscribed deep within her psyche’.  Whatever the cause it didn’t matter.  What mattered is her realization of her disconnect with humanity.

Will I attempt to call it, pass judgment and classify her?  I can’t and won’t.   People grow when taking leaps over unexpected junctures that appear in their lives.  Those points that make it fearful to move or think.  Whatever it was causing her not to see another as just a money inclined someone, she…  I will say, had finally ascended.  When one ascends it merely defines a return to that of which you came.

Today, even after years absent from one another’s life, there is no longer that noticeable  simmering between she and I.  The heat based on undefined differences has all gone up in evaporation.  Our communications, so much better.  She reaches out, my cell recognizes her digits and I have no problem in answering.  Because of what she allowed herself to experience she knows what I’d been experiencing all those many years prior.  Probably mad at the loss but…  All things in time.

To be touched, spoken with and not talked at.  To know that another may not agree with you but.  Their thoughts are just as valued is all this life we lead is really about.  Something else, the best part of all this is.  This newly re-discovered female friend is not so into herself ’til she can’t accept she’d been betrayed by others within her own circle.  Ah yes, her massage, administered by a total stranger, under the watchful eyes of Hubby,  produced much.  She and Hubby had a talk with another who spoke back.  Hummm, maybe it was the situation which produced the conduit for the mental connections between a couple and a stranger.  Maybe the stranger assumed he or she would score sexually as a result of giving a full body massage.  Who knows.  Change, no matter how static is actually fluid with every chance ushering in subtle changes not expected.

One of The Boyz is reading over my shoulder and says I’m giving up way too much game on this He and She activity.  Considering his words, I reached over to the fruit bowl, grabbed a banana and tossed him one.  He peeled it and handed it right back.  I laughed because he’d do the same thing for a woman.  Predictable.

My Mistress under similar circumstances and around the time we were engaged in our private Dance Of Deception, tossed me a banana.  I peeled it, looked her way, watched as she lowered her eyes, playing the part of someone needing to be saved, and.  I ate the banana.  The demonstration then just as now is I don’t look or come to solve problems.  Which is what most males do.  In enjoying the comforts My Mistress provided, I sought solace for self.  If she’d assumed anything otherwise, that was her mistake.  but…  Even back then, My Mistress being fully aware of who she was, hopefully knowing what she had to offer, did what she did, and.  With pleasure and a focus towards making sure I was pleased.  And no, I’m not so jaded to think she hadn’t thought, if not for a second that she’d be the one to move me outta my intimate circle with engaging Wifey.  Making me the one she’d live with as one, happily ever after.  Yeah, all people have ideas.

 My Mistress.  Confident and content in making sure I’m sure that I’m at my best.

My Mistress.  Having it her way which ever way it may lay.

My Mistress.  Forgetting the rest so she can miss the mess.

My Mistress.  Carrying with the ultimate agenda being fully engaging.

My Mistress.  Giving so she may get.  Soothing so she may be soothed.

What is this all about?  If you have to ask its like anything above one’s pay grade.  Not meant for you to concern yourself with.  When something is outta your realm of sight, maybe, just maybe it’d be best to blow along with the wind.  Tumble over yourself as you wonder about what was said, contemplating all that you may have possibly missed.  Comfortable in yourself, and remain within the fact you will always be complaining about something or another and not ever realizing.  All things are there for you to enjoy as long as you don’t placate or..  Attempt to quantify another’s…  Mistress.  Especially mine.

Psssss;  In a relationship you should always think “you” first.  It’s when you negate this recognition that you fall to the satisfaction of those on the outside screaming to get in.  FOLK, male or female always want what they can’t have.  Seeing another enjoy all that they’ve discovers can be a maddening reality for most.  A relationship with a Mistress in the wings is because…  One or the other forgetting the first rule of engagement concerning He or She.  Miss the connection with self, failed in doing for anybody else.

Pssssssssss;  Carol, your thoughts, deep desires are safe with me.  Just don’t worry about what is read into what I’ve expressed.  These words, my intentions are merely expressed while guaranteeing life!  Live yours.