Archive for Sex

WorkPlace Romance “The Prequel”©

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , , , , on October 15, 2009 by ichas8440

“Okay, I’m in it, now…  Can I win it?”

In the fairy tale “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”, the 7 sing a song about going off to work.  Based on their obvious audible glee, facial expressions, you’d think they are happy and satisfied.  Now, factor in Reality 5.0 followed by the removal of emotions governing the self and you’ll know those Dwarfs are totally aware that no body wins.  Especially under the conditions and circumstances they have to contend with.  7 into one; hummm.  Breaks down all th time but cannot be consummated at the same time.

HomebaseBayAreaThe public perception of a workplace romance is that a course has been charted, set and taken.  All that remains is for that course to come to its conclusion.  How the workplace romance started will determine how it ends.  Win or lose is all subjective.  Those who go into one and don’t have a significant other in a holding pattern outside the workplace may feel they’ve succeeded because of the secondary acquistion.  But…  If that relationship was based on mere sex, it will always lack the ties that are needed to bind.  If not one, then both will occasionally reflect on the others actual depth to interest and cause of commitment.  This will be where the seeds of discourse will plant themselves.  Friction follows and eventually do what it does.  Erode the foundation!

There is another scenario, in fact many.  But I will stick with these few provided.  If either of the two are true in knowing the realities of He & She, then they will know if lies were part of the equation, the doom is only relative to the coming of the passage of the novelties expiration date.  Now place respect on the horizon, allow it to show glimpses of itself during the flirtatious period…  Right, the chances of success are greater because discretion would have come into play before any decisions of exposure with regard to the physical engagement would have been decided on.

Now, for those who can handle the truth.  I give you the truth

Workplace romances are a given.  Someone posed an analogy using the desire to have an apple, which was supplemented when they saw an orange.  This quickly vanished when the banana came on the scene, and the pretty yellow thing was zapped!  Ejected for the sweet, succulent flavors of the kiwi.  I quickly recognized the transition play, which…  Was what every motivation to engage is based on.  A play without the need to stick with what is you!

Life is like a card game, even when you know there are 52 cards in a single deck, the game won’t be limited to the fifty-two switches that are known, and needed to play and win.  In the workplace romance, there are switches known.  There are switches that are obvious no matter the degree of ones involvement.  Then…  You have those switches that are, disguised.  Hidden and very seldom revealed to prying eyes.  Whoa, did I slip and forget to mention the subtle injection of racial implication based on social norms?  Silly me.

Recall I told ‘ya I did this?  You assumed my meaning was that I did the apple and never consider the orange.  Hate to burst the image but I wouldn’t, couldn’t; discriminate.  Color didn’t slow my desires.  Pay grades…  I went below mine and above theirs.  What I had not consider was the mentality of those with me or around me.  You know how you can be with something, involved with everything, but…  Remain detached from all that appears to be consuming you.  Well that was me.  Atypical personality, but personal to the point of that moral code being forever present within my psyche’.

Truth be told, females and males of different races are no different than males and females of different cultures.  When one of theirs steps away from the village everyone applauds.  Praises them for having the vision, showing the courage and being principled enough to venture forth and be all they can be.  The real is this support is public display of Drama!  African Americans, Asians, Italians, even Mesopotamians…  Are not sooooo accepting when it is about splittin’ thighs while screams such as, “oh, ahhh, oh my, God bless America, can be heard piercing the silence.   This disdain for what’s now out in the open even extends to those who are invited to the fake wedding party!

Oh, you say I sound jaded?  If you even think about mentioning being jaded, miss me altogether.  I told you all I don’t exist in this life, I live life.  So, hold up on the jaded thing, okay.

Today our President is of mixed heritage.  What’s goin’ on with this!  It’s not about his decisions that causes the uproar within the masses.  When he publicizes that he’s about to appear and address the children of our nation, the haters come out droves.  And it isn’t because of the content of what he’s bringing to the table.  It’s that he should have known better, (based on them), that he isn’t sitting down at the table.  The color thing has clouded those who feel they can assess his character!  And guess what, the same goes for workplace romances.  You are damned if you take it to the level of the 5th phase and think you will be granted a pass.

Something else just donned on me that I must speak on.  If you don’t understand any of this because we are a nation of multiple mixed people, and you feel that reality precludes my conclusions.  Hey really, I don’t care.  I’ve been there and have done it.  And…  I’m still standing.

Psssss.  Workplace anything is best left at work!


“Creatin’ Monsters©”

Posted in Communications with tags , , on March 2, 2009 by ichas8440

Years had passed since I last spoke with Raphael.  Now, after days of conversin’ on the telee, the day had come for us to meet and greet one another again.  As I headed over to the airport to pick him up, my mind couldn’t shake the images of our “yester-years”.  Days when we were bad and when bad wasn’t good enough we were even better.  Yes, “back in the day” you could say we were two eagles soarin’ high in and around the streets of L.A. .  Gliding among the bright lights, glitter and glam, with the occasional acceleration as we pushed into hyper-drive, diving to engage the delights of the opposite sex.

In navigating my way down, around and between all the Transportation Safety Inspectors, I almost missed my friend.  But there he was!  We stood apart from one another like a couple of Kings, and just smiled.  Time had passed and it definitely seemed to have left Raphael behind.  That strong sense of style was evident by the outfit, which he wore  well.  But, that was just what it was, an outfit outta the display window of a store.

One thing we as men said we would always adhered to, would be keeping true to the fact that our minds stayed in motion.  What I mean is that we had no interest in wasting the abilities our mind afforded us.  Such as maintaining the understanding of observation of self and kind with a view toward creating something of our own.  That is, after we caught a glimpse of the blueprint for whatever success we had sought.  Now, as I laid eyes on Raphael I was taken aback.  He either hadn’t grown in his individuality or he had settled.  Allowed society to dictate to him the whys and what fors regarding life.

Vegas was a long way from the streets of L.A., and by how Raphael’s head bobbed and weaved as we made our way up the Strip, I got the sense that he’d been locked up somewhere for far too long.  Vegas, like many other places had slogans designed to defined their projected image which would be recognized by the world.  One of them was; “Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”.  Our conversation centered around this very slogan because all he wanted to do was chase the females.  This I found funny because the last time I hit his “digits” it was his woman who answered the phone.  Sooooo, in witnessing this “hunger” I concluded that Raphael had a woman who wasn’t servin’ him.  Now, as a result all he wanted was to do it in Vegas and leave it in Vegas.  “Just like ‘ol times, hun Ralphi’…”

Pulling into one of the premier properties, he seemed like a kid who had just been released in a candy store.  Every woman we passed he made it a point to place himself on parade.  Posing, speaking just for the emotional arousal, flashing his gleaming grill, basically showed off.  But I was fine with this, especially after he brought me up to speed on the realities of his primary relationship.

Raphael conveyed to me how his lady had changed over the many years they had been together.  Transforming from the sweet obligin’ thang’ he was attracted to and loved, into a demanding, smart mouth, “gemme, gemme, gemme” type of woman that he couldn’t get away from quick enough.  Through his mouth erupted these words, and he added that  she wanted every new outfit she set her eyes on.  Supporting this with how she had to be the first to be pampered in the newest opening Salon, be it a nail or hair shop; it didn’t matter.  She had to be there for the grand opening.  From his point of view all his wife lived for was consumption.  Then he hit me hard when he spoke up on the sex.  “Let him tell it”, that was non-existence.  Oh, he did say that she was polite whenever he approached her.  Polite to the point of offering that drama as in, “no hon it’s late”, or…  Providing him with that favorite standby, “oh baby I’ve got a splittin’ headache”.  Come to thing about it he did say that occasionally she would give it up, but whenever she did, she made it seem as a pre-functionary sort of duty. I listened to his ever word, even listened to the point of being able to detect the silent cry.

In providing him with the audience he so desperately needed, I wasn’t about to miss the chance to play with his mind.  So out comes my inquiry about his true feelings, was he happy!  His reply was straight forward and exact, “Man as happy to be outta there as a punk locked up in the pen; Penitentiary that is!”  He smiled as I did, then I followed up that question with a statement.  “Raphael, remember when you met your girl.  How you would critique her on everything, even the color of her dress?  You thought she had changed when she started askin’ you what should she wear, when and how.”  He looked at me but didn’t say a thing, so I continued.  “Recall how you suggested that she change her hair color, even took her to the shop to have it done.  And when she was finished, paraded her around the shop tellin’ everyone to look at the Queen.  man did you think this wasn’t gonna affect her? ”

Raphael nodded in agreement as I delivered my words, then…  There was that twinkle sparklin’ brightly within his eyes.  Yes, that’s when he realized in his attempt to make her what he thought he wanted in a woman, he created a monster…

PsssssWhomever He or She is, “IS” who and what you were attracted to.  To make it last forever, keep this in mind!