Archive for Relationships

P.A.E. PII; “Rollin'”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags on July 7, 2016 by ichas8440


Really… It is.

Colloquialisms; “The 3 B’s, Young Fabulous and Black, White I came about it Right”, all expressions yet, relative. Interpretation lost when heard outta context.

Sugar Babies, females seemingly with attitudes. Secondary expose’; (A highly educated woman who offer her “associative services” to men willing to sponsor her financially).  This arrangement is all under the guise of bettering her overall future success.

When anyone steps to me sayin’ something insane I luv to repeat a particular word, like “Crackhead, Crackhead, Crackhead”.  Once stated the one standing before or with me usually looks at me almost as if I’m the one trippin’.  The trip is them daring to approach One strong in their belief with something so weak and expecting to survive.  Much like women who’ve takin’ the definition of Pimpin’ to ‘ah whole ‘nother level while packaging it under the title of…  Sugar Babies.

Men look at the woman and see “The 3 B’s“.  Simply said, we see Beauty, Booty and Brains.  Flip it, hear the rally cry of “She” and it will be, I’m Young Fabulous and Black.  If of another culture (Tribe) and the skin tone is missing coloration, don’t feel left out, you are of the 3rd colloquialism.  Like Pimpin’ what is, is and will continue to be flipped to appeal to the masses.

“Don’t ‘cha just luv inclusion”

It’s been said over and over how a Pimp seeks out the weak only to manipulate them to do two things.  Pop that “P” and bring all the paper back to him! Real Talk; when dealin’ with a simply minded, easily influenced, directionally distracted person which a weak mind one is, the so called Pimp achieves one thing.  A highly restricted limitation of his potential cash flow that is built on a platform ripe for infiltration by the same types who…  Masquerade around as a Savior to those who’ve fallen under the said spell of…

With that out there who is the real Pimp!

Growth, what is this growth?  It’s an accumulation of knowledge acquired from vast experiences over the course of the passage of time.  An understanding of things now known as wisdom.  One thing I’ve picked up along my journey is a simple concept known as “KIS“.  This means Keep It Simple.

Behavior patterns of FOLK, all FOLK follows some hard-wired rules.  Body Language of which much can be recognized internationally seldom changes, same extends to Micro-Expressions.  Become aware of yours and you’ll understand other with a marked quickness.

Today everyone has latched onto the catch phrase “Universal”.  I guess the new belief is everybody is the same.  Nothin’ can be further from the truth.  FOLK are distinguished by the culture they step from.  Recognize this and your involvement with whomever becomes fluid.  Now take this ideology and apply it to…  Yourself. “How do you make it right?”  Recognize that mass manipulation has been goin’ on since the beginning of time.  In the World of Real a basic reality stands.  When your tools aren’t sharp there’s no way you’ll be skilled at the job you approach.  My job just happens to be livin’.  To do this right you cannot get caught up in the trickeration Man/Kind spreads in their attempt to under-mind you.

“Attractive, Pretty, Beautiful, is there a difference?”

Yes and depending how you see yourself in relations to any of these three words will be a determining factor as to how others approach while engaging you.  Ugly isn’t included because…  Just because.  Sugar Babies, Pimp, merely descriptive words.  At times words employed to demean and then again, depending on who’s using them, empowering.  Much like The Big 3.  See yourself as such and believe me you’ll feel the surge.

In my arena those who’ve been around when witnessing YoungStars in the mist simply Dial It Down, also known as slowing their roll because.  Instinctively they’d know the true impact of who they were in relations to the resounding affect their words would have on the future of He/She who pulled up to burglarize the conversation.  Consideration of the mind (s) present they would look at the YoungStar and say, “Shut ‘da  F**k up and you might learn something“.  Today, with all of this avoidance of stereotypifaction, calling what you see what it is, playin’ nice hopin’ to just get along, you better not say it like that ’cause someone hearing you will assuming you’ve violated their holiness. Again, “F that”.  YoungStars today have little to no respect for themselves let alone He/She who sprouts anything that may help them to navigate the water they’ve been dumped in so.  Holiness, yeah right. Dumb azz, usually assuming the title of elite and.  With that I say, pay attention and you will learn something!

Much of what guarantees your success is based on one simple factor; Do you.  Unskilled, get your skills.  Not the sharpest tool in the shed, realize you didn’t come outta a shed and the analogy doesn’t apply to you.

A woman said to me her man wouldn’t stay at home and every time he’s getting ready to go out, away from her she stands behind him.  Watching him groom himself in the vanity mirror only to have him turn and say to her, “You ain’t goin’ nowhere you better be here when I get back“.  I listen and ask what was she wearing and before she tells me I told her something sheer.  Sexually suggestive to which she smiles and says, “How did you know“.

Point is, I continue and say next time this happens remain clothed, don’t attempt to change his mind by words or any provocative position.  Let him plant the kiss on your cheek and watch him as he exits the spot.  Then, do not cut up his clothes, don’t pour adhesive into his shoes, but.  Do get your cards your ignition keys and remove your rings.  Anything identifiable, symbolic of being owned and place it on the shared dresser.  Leave.  Go quick to the best hotel your money will afford.  Far away from anywhere you/him could have every gone and…  72 hours later, go home.

Psssss; A beast will whoop that azz when you return home so if that’s who you’ve been with for all the days, why go back, you weren’t in a pro-active relationship in the first place.  The man.  He who isn’t fakin’ at being all he can be will have considered his options and…  You will have arrived.


Holiday Greetings; Wifey Ex Porn Star… What?

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology with tags , , on December 1, 2012 by ichas8440

ichas8440_Graphics_HolidayGreetings_2012 -I

Sergei, (government name), strolled into my domain, bringing with him a tag-along; (despondency).  Glancing over his face, eyeballs bulged, nostrils lookin’ subway tunnels, I wondered if he may have been a collage of objects snatched from life itself.  Then, I ditched that in favor of knowin’ he was prepping for a role in the next SyFy movie.  Throwing himself into my good leather chair, crossing his arms, then the snort.  “Nasty” had arrived and with it, the typical words germane to what I do and deal with.  “After all these years, I can’t believe this bitch could fix her mouth to say what I heard her say, she was a star in the porn industry.”  Even though I don’t indulge “personally” the porn thing caught my attention.  Immediately I thought to myself, “Who could he be talkin’ about and based on his choice of topics, everything else had to be pushed into the recesses of my mind”.  There we sat.  Two men, one curious the other seeking a destination.  I, the one with subtle curiosity, draw lines on a paper, wait on some more to dribble over his lips.  He, watching me, and I know, because I use ‘ta read minds, wondering to himself.  “Does this man even understand this shit I’m going through?”  Then he shoots one of those confirming looks my way.  His mouth, sorta’ cracks just along the corner of one side and…  I instinctively knew one thing.  “After all these years of being away, “He” pulls me right back into it.”

Sergei.  Appeared at a time when I happened to be in “Mode2Me“.  And based on his time of arrival while opening on this level, he got one of my smiles said to be sorta’ mischievous.  Perceived as “Bad”, which is to say, I was functioning in optimum professional capacity and…  For his psychological pleasures, he’d get something no other would dare extend under like circumstances.  Whatever Sergei came with would be quickly unwrapped, consciously absorbed, assessed with a re-dress the likes he might not be ready for.

My words, rang true.  Sergei, like many, thought the apple he chose, the shinny one selected as his very own, was that un-touched one.  “No, I agree.  Impossible so factor in this.  Probably not anything like Mary, the Virgin, but, still angelic, okay.”  What Sergei hadn’t considered was, all apples start somewhere else way before they arrive, laid out, displayed in a very aesthetically sensuous way.  Apples, Women, Men.  It’s all about the visual.

Oh yes, I agree, apples aren’t like people, but what you’re missin’ while caught up in “what is correctness” is the simplicity of my analogy.  Maybe because you haven’t considered the origin of an…  Apple in relations to  Origins.

Macintosh, Granny Smith, Green Apples, Red Delicious, all apples.  All hybrids.  Created over years of cross breeding and or pollination.  Prior to arriving, they were  picked, gathered, sorted, classified, cleaned and polished.  “Hummm, now you’re feelin’ it, hun.”  Apples, exactly like any adult arrive direct from their childhood, appearing in the adult world.  Polished, ready willing and very able to satisfy.

One prob..  Sergei, unlike the child moving quickly towards adulthood, had an after market adaptation.  Not genetic modification but.  His mindset, based on environmental impacts had pre-programmed him.  He now wouldn’t think in his own best interest.  Conclusions of what or whom he dealt with were arrived at without any real understanding of pertinent facts.  “This is where everybody says, Assumptions“.  Exactly.  Like believing Wifey just dropped into his lap.  Appearing outta no where, only there for his pleasures.  Capable, like Super Woman yet.  Minus any applicable knowledge of…  Sergei.

“Hummm, did he think she’d been locked up somewhere, and when she caught a whiff of his scent, miraculously re-created the roll of Rapunzel?”

Without allowing me to even imply I wanted to delve a ‘lil deeper into the main issue, which was Wifey revelations, he continued.  Verbalizing with the “back story“.  Sergei, assuming again as to what my thoughts had to be, rushed to get his side out there and I.  Paid very close attention.  Mainly because he went beyond the scope required to “fill me in” and.  Brought me way up to speed.  In the process and having no shame in taking liberties towards personal embellishments, I realized something.  Sergei never was Sergei or was he ever, Serg.  The name came from the three times removed Uncle on his Mother’s, Sister’s Aunt’s side.  Who said “Nephew acted like a Sergei, so I named him Sergei “.  People and their B.S., don’t cha just luv the back story?

Before Serg even approached with this dilemma, someway, somehow I was privy to know a ‘lil something of his Wifey.  She, during another previous moment of emotional lapse, asked me to define, while clarifying the meaning of truthfulness within a relationship.  Based on what she knew of men she knew it wouldn’t have been nice to attempt to fool “me” regarding what she was comin’ across with.  I guess she heard of someone I knew personally; Mother Nature.  Fool her and you have no idea what’s comin’.  Sometimes I do some un-announced channeling, especially when anyone wants to…  Play mind games.  As with Sergei, so was I with Wifey in revealing how to work it where two are concerned.

On truthfulness, no matter how either of ’em served it.  Truth, would always be subjective.  Truth is relative to what one’s experiences are.  Even if you say you are truthful, your truth will only go so far as you intend.  If one feels the slightest bit of leaning towards a possible loss, based on tellin’ the truth, believe me.  What you get will be masked.  Delivered to gain sympathy.

When two people meet, feel they’re right for each other, personally and privately this won’t mean they will play fair.  When sharing with another regarding who you are, first you’ve gotta deal with where you’ve been.  And before you ever get to that point you’ve gotta factor in what you were doing when you were where you were at prior to arriving at your present point.  A point of intersection that may or may not be receptive to…  Right, the point from where you’re comin’ from.  This is not to say you lie to your significant other, but.  Adult life, with the various switches, contradictions pertaining to life within relationships.  Most aspects become an exchange of Intel based on a need to know basis.  Significant other and or others, included.

Significant other“, what exactly does this mean?  Straight-up, no chaser, okay I can do this.  It signifies another of supreme importance within your primary rotation inclusive of two.  So, if they are important you should also realize, unlike “Serg”, that when stepping to another it’s isn’t about what ‘cha need so much as.  Is she satisfying the want which attracted you in the first place.

Serg, Sergei, whoever he was, really didn’t know Wifey to be when first layin’ eyes on her.  He did know what he saw from a physical point.  Booty attracted.  Compelling his to do anything to, “have her his way“.  So, significant you say?  Not in the beginning and even if so, to who and to what degree?  And…  If you’re somebody trapped in this mystical fallacy that says when you’re feelin’ another to any degree you’ve gotta come correct as in truthful.  I offer you a stupid look following the word; Please.

Real Talk, Wifey, after say, the second time around, more than likely felt some sense of artificial guilt.  Broke down, feelin’ communicative, told him about past life’s and affairs.  Secretly hopin’ this would be one of those defining moments where truth would be held in high esteem.  Again, this is movie stuff.  Far from cynical but, she’d been better off buying a lottery ticket and tellin’ everybody she was the winner before the winner was even announced.  “Why?”  Because.  People, depending on their sex, factor in and think differently when hearing or witnessing anything.  Sergei, “male”, hearing what he did, would have still re-acted and performed with what he’s doin’ right now.  Mentally after Wifey dropped this on him went into immediate comparison analysis.  Auto-tune kicked completely in.  Emotions of a third kind was the fuel feeding his energy.  Demands from a psychological level forced him to run with this revelation.  Equation arrived at.  Porn Star!  With his imaginary thoughts of what he’d do with one if and when he’d get the slightest possibility or chance.  And…  Blow the hell out of his supposedly rational conclusions regarding who and what she was about.  Nothing remotely associated with truthfulness.

Sergei was “all twisted up in The Game“, exactly like most who haven’t a clue as to why situations and circumstances usher into one’s life.

Not to make this personal, but…  Hell, everything is personal and anybody who say’s it isn’t, they’re a liar.  With me, I know someone who spent some time in the Convent.  Habits and penance were in her future.  When she shared this to me, explaining that if she never saw me again, what was would be enough to sustain her forever.  I just looked at her.  It was good I had lived the life I had before encountering her.  Because…  No No, I won’t go there.  Just say no matter how many Hail Marys’, Acts of Contrition concluding with 5 Our Fathers I would have been made to recite after the fact.  I’d move straight to the front of the line for my next life of eternal damnation.

Convent, Nun in the mix.  Woman in possession of the triple threat body.  “Naivety” being her book of choice.  “Won’t stop, can’t stop…  It would have been all about the mash.”  When He or She comes likes this, it’s akin to enjoying an all day Lolly-Pop.

Point is.  Mode2Me was in full effect.  I knew when she and I met it was all about the hunt.  Initial attraction, all based on the physical.  Good for her and I during this initial encounter.  I knew the physical was beauty and running skin deep.  Peel back those layers, enjoy the unexpected delights, and.  With her, I quickly realized more and more deep down delectable’s.  Possibilities of a life defined while explored.  And with someone I could really see myself vibin’ with for quite a long time.  Still, in the recesses of my diabolical mind I knew this was a test and no matter how I love to test the Tester, one thing held factual.  Do I mess with her mind, defile “The Rose” and expect “The Gardener” to give me a pass once all is said and done?  Nope.  Wasn’t happening.  Not when knowin’ The Rose spent some time in The Gardner’s private garden.

Sergei my man, what can I say.  The importance shouldn’t be placed on what Wifey did.  The reality was, Wifey confided.  If anything he should be terrified of himself after the ignorance displayed when Wifey stepped to him with her truth.  Wifey was, and probably will always be, committed to him.  And don’t think she doesn’t know he wasn’t worthy of such a…  Delicious Apple.

Be it He or She, FOLK are always seeking validation on someone.  Forgetting that they have a past too.  If and when a past is revealed, most are way too occupied in what those on the outside will say once the word is out on who they are with.  Well ‘uck you Serg and naw on this!

What if.  What if your insecurities spawn from the basis of you knowin’ fully well  that where Wifey is comin’ from, is an area you damn well know you can’t compete with.  Somethin’ else.  Wifey, after all these years of faithfulness, told you a ‘lil about her secret past life and now…  Now you have to deal with the fact that you may not have known shit in relations to what she’d been exposed to, and…  Even though she said it, the real was you never did take her anywhere remotely close to the stage of satisfaction.

Sergei, if and when you check this out and.  Don’t even act like you won’t.  Don’t go commercial and start hatin’ on me.  You knew I was deep in my Mode2Me when you brought up this part of your life.  A full working knowledge was what you possessed.  Understanding of me professionally, prior to seeking me out for Intel on what you should do with…  Ex porn star Wifey.  Okay, now for the next fact.  She’s your Wifey.  She wasn’t messed up in the head when she came to you and you surely know that you weren’t “like that“.  Superstar Extraordinaire when you all first got it goin’ on.

So.  With that said, recognize this.  If you can’t uphold your end of any agreement, even if parts of that agreement don’t reveal themselves until you are deep into The Game, then.  You weren’t Game Tight from the beginning.  You were way outta your league.

Psssss; Whatever it is, handle it.  This is Holiday.  No time for madness and assumptions on what may have been.  It is!  Besides, allowing the thoughts and feelings of others to cloud your beliefs, ain’t gonna change a ‘thang.  Other than…  Your loss and…  You’ve got it….. their gain.  Holiday, rich or ‘po, if someone is there you can’t ask for more.

Trick or Treat©

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology with tags on December 1, 2009 by ichas8440

In the wake of global depression, many issues that couples are faced with, rise to the surface with the stealthiness of a guided torpedo.  Issues pertaining to “how things are ‘pose to be in relations to how things really are”.  Matters that are emotionally debilitating such as raisin’ the ‘youngins, and…  Which out of the two of you are going to be the primary in expanding their lives as far as the extension of discipline, etc etc etc.  Then there’s the “F word”, finances.  Well…  Get ready for something.  “Romance without Finance is a No-mance.”

Basically what chaos uncovers within any relationship are the failures to pre-identify  how two people should step into tomorrow.  Chaos shows that what was actually important…  Requiring immediate attention was…  Dispatched to the boondocks.  Set aside so that the love which was in the air could be fully inhaled.  Well surprise again.

Don’t pass go but head directly to jail

Exacto-mundo!  Figuratively speaking, jail is the only stop available on this course because…  With all the fighting and back biting that will define the attitudes & intentions on this level of the relationship…  You will think jail is where you’ve ended up.  Yes, jail as in mental and physical isolation.  Removed from all forms of rationale in the way of thinking or executing your plans towards ascension of the two.

Rest your fear, a remedy is here.  Stop tricking yourself and treat yourself.  On the money tip, which I’m sure is a part of the divisional equation, there is a constant about this elusive stuff.  “Money is made to be Made”, so stop crying about what you don’t have or what you’ve squandered off while enjoying your delights.  And…  Un-like before, start talking a ‘lil more amongst yourselves.  Tell your other half, that significant other who is representing you…  Tell ’em what your visions may be.  Define those parameters that are needed to complete the structure of your dreams.  Those personal insights, the ones you’ve kept personal.  They’ll effect the both of you, so put it out there from the gate.

On issues pertaining to children, be your FAM mixed as in either of you having “young luggage in tow” as a result of other relationships or affairs, or…  Children created by the both of you during one of those mad, passionate quickies.  You need to talk about it going into the relationship way before either of you settle in, referring to yourselves as an item.  Express those concerns before that point and don’t just say, “I’ll wait ’til that bridge is crossed”.  Share your beliefs about reaching them and teaching them so that each of you will have a clear idea of why the other adult seems to go ballistic whenever the kids get outta line.  By speaking up before hand, now they won’t get so upset with your blastin’ off because the kids have pushed you to the limits.  They know…  They know that if you don’t release that pressure, neither of you will reach those plans defined.

And to pause; returning to that wait thing, I say this.  If you are always waiting to cross the bridge before preparing yourself, you’ll never know what you’ll do in your drive to arrive.  Sooooo, miss yourself with that silly ass statement.  Which…  Is a deflection at best.

Key point; just say what you know and stop trippin’ off of how it will be perceived as to what you thought you knew, but really didn’t know.  Right again.  Trick or treat. What end of this do you wanna experience?

Psssss; Life.  It isn’t Monopoly, but…  It is a game none the less, so learn the rules and understand their full application.  Especially if you intend to win.

“Creatin’ Monsters©”

Posted in Communications with tags , , on March 2, 2009 by ichas8440

Years had passed since I last spoke with Raphael.  Now, after days of conversin’ on the telee, the day had come for us to meet and greet one another again.  As I headed over to the airport to pick him up, my mind couldn’t shake the images of our “yester-years”.  Days when we were bad and when bad wasn’t good enough we were even better.  Yes, “back in the day” you could say we were two eagles soarin’ high in and around the streets of L.A. .  Gliding among the bright lights, glitter and glam, with the occasional acceleration as we pushed into hyper-drive, diving to engage the delights of the opposite sex.

In navigating my way down, around and between all the Transportation Safety Inspectors, I almost missed my friend.  But there he was!  We stood apart from one another like a couple of Kings, and just smiled.  Time had passed and it definitely seemed to have left Raphael behind.  That strong sense of style was evident by the outfit, which he wore  well.  But, that was just what it was, an outfit outta the display window of a store.

One thing we as men said we would always adhered to, would be keeping true to the fact that our minds stayed in motion.  What I mean is that we had no interest in wasting the abilities our mind afforded us.  Such as maintaining the understanding of observation of self and kind with a view toward creating something of our own.  That is, after we caught a glimpse of the blueprint for whatever success we had sought.  Now, as I laid eyes on Raphael I was taken aback.  He either hadn’t grown in his individuality or he had settled.  Allowed society to dictate to him the whys and what fors regarding life.

Vegas was a long way from the streets of L.A., and by how Raphael’s head bobbed and weaved as we made our way up the Strip, I got the sense that he’d been locked up somewhere for far too long.  Vegas, like many other places had slogans designed to defined their projected image which would be recognized by the world.  One of them was; “Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”.  Our conversation centered around this very slogan because all he wanted to do was chase the females.  This I found funny because the last time I hit his “digits” it was his woman who answered the phone.  Sooooo, in witnessing this “hunger” I concluded that Raphael had a woman who wasn’t servin’ him.  Now, as a result all he wanted was to do it in Vegas and leave it in Vegas.  “Just like ‘ol times, hun Ralphi’…”

Pulling into one of the premier properties, he seemed like a kid who had just been released in a candy store.  Every woman we passed he made it a point to place himself on parade.  Posing, speaking just for the emotional arousal, flashing his gleaming grill, basically showed off.  But I was fine with this, especially after he brought me up to speed on the realities of his primary relationship.

Raphael conveyed to me how his lady had changed over the many years they had been together.  Transforming from the sweet obligin’ thang’ he was attracted to and loved, into a demanding, smart mouth, “gemme, gemme, gemme” type of woman that he couldn’t get away from quick enough.  Through his mouth erupted these words, and he added that  she wanted every new outfit she set her eyes on.  Supporting this with how she had to be the first to be pampered in the newest opening Salon, be it a nail or hair shop; it didn’t matter.  She had to be there for the grand opening.  From his point of view all his wife lived for was consumption.  Then he hit me hard when he spoke up on the sex.  “Let him tell it”, that was non-existence.  Oh, he did say that she was polite whenever he approached her.  Polite to the point of offering that drama as in, “no hon it’s late”, or…  Providing him with that favorite standby, “oh baby I’ve got a splittin’ headache”.  Come to thing about it he did say that occasionally she would give it up, but whenever she did, she made it seem as a pre-functionary sort of duty. I listened to his ever word, even listened to the point of being able to detect the silent cry.

In providing him with the audience he so desperately needed, I wasn’t about to miss the chance to play with his mind.  So out comes my inquiry about his true feelings, was he happy!  His reply was straight forward and exact, “Man as happy to be outta there as a punk locked up in the pen; Penitentiary that is!”  He smiled as I did, then I followed up that question with a statement.  “Raphael, remember when you met your girl.  How you would critique her on everything, even the color of her dress?  You thought she had changed when she started askin’ you what should she wear, when and how.”  He looked at me but didn’t say a thing, so I continued.  “Recall how you suggested that she change her hair color, even took her to the shop to have it done.  And when she was finished, paraded her around the shop tellin’ everyone to look at the Queen.  man did you think this wasn’t gonna affect her? ”

Raphael nodded in agreement as I delivered my words, then…  There was that twinkle sparklin’ brightly within his eyes.  Yes, that’s when he realized in his attempt to make her what he thought he wanted in a woman, he created a monster…

PsssssWhomever He or She is, “IS” who and what you were attracted to.  To make it last forever, keep this in mind!