Archive for Office Romance

Office Romance, “We’re Baaaaack”

Posted in Communications, psychology, Relationships with tags , on February 10, 2010 by ichas8440

Something I hear with frequency is, “Is it okay to date someone who works with you?”

Another way this same question has been phrased goes like this.  “We had one of those office parties and, well, you know.  What do I do now?”

Truth Be Told, I don’t have an answer as far as the second way this situation has come to me but what I do know is.  “If the booty has moves you to wanna perform your duty, you’d better be ready.”

“I’m talkin’ ready which is totally different than being prepared.” In the workplace there are so many dynamics at play you’d better know how to “play” ’cause the hidden factors.  Those un-defined variables will crush you every time.

One to consider is about the person of your attraction.  Are they beyond your pay scale?  If this is the case what are you gonna do when that persons’ peers chime in, telling them not to engage outta their class.  Their peers don’t care about you as much as they care about how the situation is gonna reflect on them.  Oh yes, don’t think that there isn’t a distinction based on class.

Also, is the person you wanna get with of a different race, cultural, etc. etc .etc..  Do they drive a high-end vehicle while you are worried about the cost of gas alone.  Right, tight with money not because you don’t have it, but…  You really don’t have it like them, which…  Even if not mentioned is definitely in the minds of both of you.

Now, calm down and breath.  It’s great when you feel the need to inhale the speed that comes with the arrival of attraction of another, but…  When you approach this level of activity you have to exam the real with regard to what is pulling you to wanna engage.  And as you know with me, I won’t allow any of you to get it twisted.  If your attraction is just a case of chasing booty, male or female, it doesn’t change the basic dynamics.  It is the physical that comes into play when you initially began to pull the pieces together towards qualifying the attraction.  Each representative of the species has that behind.  The word (booty) is merely a metaphor!

What about Boss?  Unknown to you or those of the staffed crew they may have that same inclination towards the one you’ve set your eyes on.  Work this into the equation and now you’ve gotta bring the A-game which many really don’t own; Management included!  Speaking of management, those on this tier play games with subordinates the likes you wouldn’t imagine.  And don’t assume for a minute that they are so professional ’til they wouldn’t cross that threshold.  If any of this factors in, Boss, Supervisor…  Any one can create havoc for your work place romance, and…  They know how to skirt those mandates defined in the workbook outlining conduct, ya know.  Its called (professional deniable based on selective memory loss exclusive to those large and in-charge).

Vibe off of this.  Once you “hit it” what to do?  And don’t say you have no idea what I mean.  It is after this point that you have to deal with your lapse in judgement.  All negative you say?  I beg to differ.

People think they are brilliant when in pursuit of another.  What is usually forgotten, “purposely” is that much of what people do with regards to attractions is based on impulses.  Again, I definitely must admit to chasin’ those I worked with.  Chased those I stood in line with while getting lunch at the Gourmet Buritto Coach.  Chased those I shared the elevator with, but that was back in the day when I was staring in the role of the second coming of Doctor Frankenstein.  A valuable role as I learned many in-valuable lessons.  Mainly I know how to find that Diamond in the Mountain of Ash!  This is to say, even those I…  “Consumed”, woke up and happened to leave me all the while saying that I was all about self.  They knew that I knew why we engaged in the first place.  And…  It didn’t matter to me what they publicly said about us after their re-inclusion into their peer group.  All that was after the fact and wouldn’t change what was.  Ask yourself this; Are you built to deal with this?

Back to Boss and or management knowing what they may or may of not known about the romance.  Oh well.  Adhering to the jobs definitions, duties & office policies is all…  Pretty much, rhetorical.  Professional or not, people are germane to their class.  Your ability to perform on either level “will not”, “cannot” interfere or mess up your personal decisions.  Yet, with most…  Well, they do what is expected of them by those who have dominion over ’em.

Psssss; When love has much to do with this you enter a whole ‘nother level of understanding and…  When you think you’ve got it all together, Murphy’s Law is sure to kick in.  Especially if you wanna have it your way.  It is here that you will find that you really don’t have it like that.  Oh no, not Devils advocate, not me.  I don’t just play at this, I play to win so stop hating.  (Whoa, whoa.  I’ve gotta go.  I see someone who can make Valentines Day another point to ponder) You Feel It…