Archive for Men and Women

I Don’t Wanna Be Friends…

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology with tags , on May 12, 2010 by ichas8440

“What makes a relationship work?” Plenty of sense, but sometimes when you have a lot of  “cents” you also acquire an insight that allows you to recognize it helps in keeping your sense by remaining close friends.  Then again, this is a dynamic within a relationship that only holds true when money was the primary motivator for the involvement from the gate.

So many get together so they may eventually “be together” but their basic nature will not allow them to even venture into that friends category.  Based on this that “after the fact” thing.  You know, the fact where they’ve had that ‘snack” so to speak.  It is at this point that remaining friends is the last thing on their mind.

Many don’t wanna be friends because they were “on deck 1st” and have no interest in giving the hurt they are experiencing now, another chance of re-igniting.  Men,  women, they each feel the same even if they refuse to admit it.  (See Selfishness)

For whatever the cause that created the demise of the relationship, “they” don’t wanna hear it and won’t even consider it.  Pain has manifested itself in ways that occupy areas previously reserved for all things positive.  Now, “YOU” left ’em and that’s all they will recall.  In their mind, “YOU” lied to ’em.  Friendship will never be a part of their vernacular.

Others who fake at sophistication.  Right, those who believe they are above this display of emotion, view this condition as beneath them.  Publicly they do the friend think with a certain style, but…  It’s not a genuine friendship, fakin’ is their forte’ and I can work with this too.  But…  I still don’t wanna be friends after the fact.

This descriptive game plays itself out each and everyday.  People meet, click and soon…  Commit.  Everything is.  “Everything is so beautiful.” No one can tell either of them that the two of them weren’t meant to be.  Where they are concerned its destiny.  A storyline written by the Gods with neither of them knowing why it took so long to encounter the other.  This is great for the Perpetual Romantic, like me.  Which leads to this.

The following is true

It began in the mall.  There she was, strolling silently down the long corridor thinkin’ about what she lost when…  “Ta Da” there I was.  Our eyes locked, she paused.  Her heart went into palpitations.  Momentarily stunned.  Frozen, as her mind replayed visions of our illustrious past.  Okay, the scent of the freshly baked Cina-Bons I was holding could have had some effect but very little if you ask me.

Like I said, her mind flashed to images of yest’ years.  Days of horseback ridin’ with late nights of sippin’ cocktails, sprawled out on our balcony as the rest of the neighborhood slept.  Hey, she hadn’t forgotten the love, nor did I.  But…  Something had happened to me during that long division.  The manly mentality kicked in and I was now…  Him!  He who wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction of discovering she still had my heart.

Hummm, sounds familiar?  Doesn’t matter if you are male or female, these feelings are universal and given the correct circumstances will surface.  Its called life’s experiences absorbed,then rung out.  Personified; as they are used in putting you back together again.

“Still playin’ the part of being coated in Teflon hun?  This is cool too, exactly what people do after the break-up with the one who holds that special friends’ designation.”

Friendship is definitely possible.  Especially if there are ‘lil ones who have appeared by way of the original relationship.  Those innocent ones who need the semblance of FAM for the continuity of their overall development.  I mean, how is a child ‘pose to grow into a seemingly functional adult when their FAM‘s leaders are feuding parents?  Image what they think about the gene pool they’ve spawned from.  In this case, friends are a must.

Friendship is do-able after time has passed and a more relevant mental state has been achieved and sustained.  But other than that…  Stop fooling yourself.

Call me a “Hater”, say that I’m speaking from my insecure, immature side while being serious Stuck On Stupid.  I don’t care.  You see, you aren’t working from a full deck so their are cards missing from your hand.  Remember the scenario I previously laid out to you?  There’s more.

It was after she saw me getting those Cina-Bons.  Rushing over to me with that million dollar smile of hers and she said, “Let’s just get a coffee, talk a ‘lil bit”.  Yeah, I bit alright.  Seduced by her presences while drifting with ease as her eyes teased me while she expressed how much she’d missed a guy.  It was also during this time that underneath the tabletop, an intense session of footsies was headed into overtime.  Damn, she knew how much I loved to feel her toes massaging my left shin.  What…  What was I ‘pose to do?

But…  That’s when it dawned on her and she recalled I was good at holding back cards.  Anger replaced the flow of flurtiness because I seemed…  As she said, “too reserved, unlike before you need to chill”.  Chill, was she insane?

I knew it then and there is no reason to keep it from you ‘all now, the moment I relaxed my defenses, she’d have really launched another drone attack.  Bringing up more stuff just to set me back.  Hey, maybe she wanted to see if she still had that control, I don’t know.  What I do know is I’m always in Stealth mode.  A good thing because…  Like I said, I was on deck 1st and as of that moment she was still on the shelf.  Yes, after the devastation of the separation I decided to keep her there because those memories are what makes me…  Shall I say, mature!

Psssss; On second thought, you really do look good and because I was on deck 1st, let me take credit for “you” becomin’ all you could be.  Now, pass me a pack of that raw sugar and let’s continue to talk about it.  Maybe this friend thing can work.

Psssss, Psssss; Even if you feel that in the past you were burnt, abandon the anger.  Grow in your own prosperity.  Smile at what may appear to be a lost and rise at what is really a chance for you to re-create yourself.  Don’t take it personal.