Archive for Dating

Are You Single

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , on September 2, 2013 by ichas8440

ichas8440_Graphics_AreYouSingle_Lips2013Secret City, My kinda place.  If you can handle it, I’ll take you there.  On second thought, with the strong possibility of sensory overload, maybe just a visual from the gate.  Visuals can be…  Somewhat provocative.  Stimuli, running, you knowing that this was like that and…  I held if from you.  The emotions will register, ecstasy will flood your system and the blame…  Will come my way for not only keeping this, beautiful reality from you, but…  Slowly your senses will be reclaimed by the false allusions as in reference material you’ve accepted as fact for way too long and..  Lawsuit will become your primary thought all because you’ll say, “I wasn’t really expecting that and you should have prepared me better, I mean, you know they say some things are better left hidden”.  Well then, hide your desire to follow the crowd and, continue the ride as you experience sights and sounds that tell ‘ya…


Oh yes, FOLK always lookin’ for another to blame cause responsibility is never something human kind wanna accept.  Still, a perimeter point of observation will give you enough of a glimpse, allowing for a clear manifestation of  the intuitive stimuli.  And…  When you feel the tingle caused by acceleration of biological components, don’t worry.  Immerse yourself, feed.  During this un-anticipated mode remember one thing.  The Doctor is on deck.  I won’t overload. let ‘cha slip.  Becoming too caught up in this new found knowledge of self and kind.  Besides, once the vibe takes you to the deeper dimensions of; “the self”, where you contemplate…  Imagine, while envisioning the full capacities you’re just been made privy too, you’ll begin to understand one thing.  It really is all about the self.

“Aura; Are You Single.”  Soul Duo from Back-In-The-Day and another anthem destine for the scared category.  Commanding Bass line, locks in with the heartbeat, sorta’ like complimenting spirits.  You feel it, conclusion, “I belong”.  Lyrics that flow.  Allowing you to settle in, at least for once without having to explain yourself.  Dedication surfaces, it becomes easier to listen knowing a realization is on the rise.  One that says, “I can roll like this too“.  Feel good, hunnn. Now, let’s continue the ride.

Another influential couple, (see celeb of the times and almost any will do) ultimately exposed for being a part of the common domain.  Their significant other stepped outside the mutually agreed upon circle of…  Love.  Participated within another’s field.  Now, probably due to outside disturbances, separation isn’t even a consideration and they move to “Lawyer-up”, want explanations on how to achieve the commanding position during a divorce proceedings.  Doesn’t matter the reasons or motivations to move in this direction and at such a speed because.  Choice of extra curriculum has placed their image at stake.  Thoughts of what other FOLK will assume has…  Over-ridden the actual primary directive when two engage.  right, all that matter is…  These trending blips and their quickly arrived at conclusions keep a smile on my face.  Situations like these have created a supportive rally cry.  Reserved for women who, display un-wavering support for the female who…  The other female invade on.  Surprising for the many I would say, but.  I’m from a different school of thought.

Is it that FOLK don’t know or.  Is it that males won’t accept the reoccurring/redefining bond existing between females when one has been publicly; humiliated?  Wrong on your first answer and still wrong if you’ve settled for either of these choices as your answers.  This isn’t American or anywhere else where you have but two sides representing whatever side you think you should come from in presenting your side.  In this case; The Twist.  Always the Twist, especially when I’m presenting the conclusion.  My spin; The female who “played” with the male who made every indication of being single/available for her to see, was…  Merely being “she”.  She is who she is, one who saw a male.  A male that was capable of causing an internal biological discord.  A condition demand immediate personal satisfaction, dismissing all the signs of him being attached, and.  Commanding her to push and follow the leader.  Appearing as predicated, available for him to see.

There was a time when I…  “Hit one up”, eased forward while making my way over to another.   Enjoying her time and…  Re-enacting the same roll, following the same script when her time on the stage came to an end also.  Those cycles (times when this happened), I identified long ago.  Call it Seasons and with those Seasons what I did was done with the mental awareness and acceptance of those I engaged, but.  Where I played wasn’t ever from the same geo-social-graphical arena which is what most do when doing the same thing.  And they wonder how they get caught up in the first place.

Was I wrong?  Was this life, selfishly motivated?  Did I have a moral obligation based on some values etched into my DNA from way back when, telling me not to continue in this direction?  I won’t subscribe to dueling realities played out because of some pre-coding within my ego and super-ego.  I believe in the definition of the Id.  Combat between any internal representative of the self is…  Let’s channel that guy from Sparta “King Leonidas”.  His line is superb about now, “Madness“.  Perfect fit to define, and…  Even if I had been single the basic nature of man and kind is to mingle, so this isn’t a case of what is right or wrong.  Morally, ethically or otherwise, and yes.  Like Sparta, knowing who you are is the first consideration when dealing with everybody else.

When committed to another you’ve gotta realize the depth of the commitment within you.  Think about “The Dog”.  It’s not the dog in the fight it’s the fight within the dog which will determine who will be victorious.  During those days of “Romantic Inclusions“, I played hard, pushed farthest, ferried faster and always, came from the position of “A Wide Receiver”.  The entire activity, fuel for me and if not for the forays I wouldn’t have ever arrived at where I am today.

What about the one waiting at home, preparing for your ultimate return?”  How could I forget?  Surprisingly, I hadn’t.  As said, FOLK are aware of whom they’ve stepped to.  What ‘cha do with one, will be done with another if the circumstances present themselves in the like or similar dimensions so no matter what you do.  To say the concerns of who’s waiting at home, definitely alone, is…  Like the King again who said it best.  “Blasphemy!”  Yes, I have empathy, still, I’d be lying if I even alluded to being stopped from doing what I did.

This is rocket science.”  Hummm, do you know how to pilot a Rocket ’cause I don’t.  What this is is everything plain and simple.  Up close, personal and in your face.  Think digital projections.  With advanced technology nothing is left missing from the sight of your eye.  Blemishes, revealed with clarity.  Previous point of interpretation, finally removed.  Compromise, not even a thought now, so rocket science, no.  I come in vivid color for the pure enhancement of your perceptions.  The Mis-Education of He and She has been forever in flux.  Re-formatted with the beginning of each Gen. so every Gen. will forget their intuitive abilities and…  Argue the obvious.  Like many are privately considering doing right now, but.  Don’t.  Stay locked in and get this…

Despite the Seasons when one sees another curiosity replaces what may be considered rational.  Possibilities of what can be, are…  Immediately pronounced.  Inclusion, demanded and…  This becomes your manifest destiny.  This is what few know with even less who do know realizing the true implications, let alone the consequences of what’s about to be.  This is knowledge on the Fifth Phase.

Those days, these days, “Just One of ‘Dem Days“, and.  I took everything personal.  Where the dis-connect comes where He and She are concerned is thinking nothing is personal .  Everything one engages in is personal.  If it wasn’t nothing, no one would ever be approached, considered or engaged.  Personal involvement is how dreams manifest in a physical world, becoming viral concepts moving to the ultimate.  Your established realities. “Food For Thought” and I’ll slip right back in with this.

Haters, those who’ve continually spread these false impressions about what’s goin’ on between males and females have pushed me to want to…  Elaborate on the philosophy regarding “Common and Elite” and how this relates to the characteristics of personality which…  Keep this “Are You Single” phenom in rotation, and so.  I morph into this part of the presentation.

It was so dark, the approach, I didn’t see coming, still.  The confrontation didn’t surprise or make me feel as if I was out classed.  She stood, comfortably in my zone, something she had done many times before, ‘cept.  This time she was accompanied by a Beast.  One who didn’t disguise he came in full Gorilla form.  Observing his posturing in the background I quickly surmised, he was an ornament.  Decoration.

As suddenly as they appeared, they receded, blending in with the darkness, never turning their backs to me.  She spoke during this dramatic withdraw.  Her words, scripted like the departure, and words which could have been said years ago.  Like I considered the what ifs, if I heard those words years ago, I knew now, I wasn’t fazed by them.  I knew why she felt the need to say them and why she calculated her stalking plans.  Intercepting me when she felt I’d be “burnable”.

More DRAMA.  The car they rode in, slowed right across from me, and she added to her performance.  Reaching over, takes the Gorilla’s chin and kisses him.  Suddenly Foolio gained a stronger sense of empowerment.  Turns sharply, opens the drivers door, steps out and walks menacingly towards me.  He didn’t only look the part, he also capture the essence of the character he portrayed.  His words, weren’t what was apart of his assigned script.  She, being out of ear-shot allowed him to improvise.  He went off  the reservation, delivering something less likely to elicited a physical response from me.  Then, they were gone.

My Auntie once said she was chased out of her birth country by someone with dual imagery.  the celebrated and legendary Poncho Villa.  Poncho’s media team spun it as an eviction of those who were of the elitist crew.  I often wondered was she run off because she was of the elite or.  Because she was an elitist.

My Ex, asked me that night on the corner, or.  Rather told me this, “You think you’re all that, well I’m here to tell you you ain’t shit“.  She didn’t get it then and she probably still hasn’t got it.  I refused to respond because the situation nor the circumstance warranted my reply.  She had done things to me, with me and for me she’d never cop to no matter who made the inquiry.  Not even those close female friends or.  The Beast she was now masquerading around with, pretending to be a couple.  Deep deep in love.  She, being a woman with another shouldn’t have made it her mission to find me just so she could publicly tell me I wasn’t all that.  But like I said, she didn’t get it.

Another, an Elder cousin said I am original just as every human being is, so why would anyone want whom they’ve set their sights on to be…  common?  FOLK step to another based on the spectacular impression made onto ’em once seen and probably heard.  Uniqueness displayed by an individual is what attracts.  The only commonality is the thought of knowing they know you know they see your light.  Imagine if you were cloned.  There’d be no need for anyone to want you because “you” are like every other clone drafted from the DNA producing you.  Replaceable even under the worst case scenario.  Consider a world of sameness.  It’d be a living hell.  Whomever you spoke with, whoever you’d end up sleeping with would be…  A false face to you because.  You wouldn’t be able to distinguish if they were them or.  The clone of another clone impersonating you.

I come from something which is why, I’ll always identify with that of which I step from.  My standards are unto me, not…  Based on what someone else impressed on me.  A guy I knew was willing to pay me to be his second.  Wifey would be the “Wide Receiver”.  When I told him sloppy seconds weren’t for me and when anyone brings someone in to act as a second, they have basically opened the door for disaster.  He, shot back with the same thing my Ex expressed.  “You think ya all that“.  Without responding verbally, he knew I was far from…  Being common and assuming I was all that.  In his own slow thought processing patterns he knew this was a redundant statement.  Why else would he ask me to do for his Wifey what he was evidently incapable of accomplishing.  Ignorance comes in various flavors.

FOLK need to stop pretending they don’t want to be, elite.  The difference between an elitist an being elite is…  Your value system, the moral code you’ve accepted and how you relate to another.  When you are an Ah, (see Ass Hole), you can’t deny it.  You stank way before you arrive and.  You are quick to tell everybody else, they are the ones who stink.

My Auntie, married to the same man for over 5 decades.  After he ascended she remained, solo.  She spoke with men, probably dined with some men who had something to say.  Her heart, it remained with the love of her life.  When she settled in America, she kept the values that provided her the happiness she sought.  She was loved because she didn’t treat people any different than how she knew she had better be treated.

My ‘lil one says she won’t live in the ghetto.  She is accustomed to having things.  Young, but this is what she knows based on who she is.  She is also, warming, genuine, a smart mouth with a very insightful opinion.  I agree with her because this is the value system we come from.

If I was common, the next thing I’d be said to be was normal.  What is normal?  Is normal just conforming to what is expected?  Being normal is to be accepting when you know you deserve another but.  Refusing to step or even acknowledge them because they are of another class.  The norm dictates, “They are way outta your league sooooo“.  No, not for me.  I’m not staying at home because my league has placed psychological boundaries in my orientation precluding me from seeking outside my field of review.  Even if it’s for dialogue.  I want in.

Hold up, what does this have to do with being Single?”  I’m glad you’ve remained focused. Now, re-read all that you’ve already absorbed, and.  Embrace your re-birth.  Single is nothing more, at least in this sense, than being onto yourself while remaining true to yourself.  Single is understanding the applications of Elite as opposed to harboring hidden agendas that tell you, I’m an Elitist.  Are You Single?  You will always be single.  Available?  That’s another dimension of life and like the foolish ass celebs who are actually common FOLK, when you don’t understand who you are, who it is you’ve  attached yourself too and forget the process blinking serves.  Fall fast asleep and forget your responsibilities to who you are and who it is you’ve secured yourself to, the single part of you begs to morph.  Transform and enter the minglin’ zone.  That is, between the sheets where there is always the possibility of…  Awakening, realizing you’ve drifted outta your lane and can get back, but.  The long lasting effects have already defined you.  It’s not about being single, it’s not limiting yourself to the category of wanting to mingle.  You…  Like the delectable one…  R!

Psssss;  When chance permits, check out the lyrics by Aura’s cut, “Are You Single”.  Many have taken the words and crafted a tune.  None are as relative as…  Aura.  Original means none like you.  Single in this sense means, I know who I am.  Common…  Hummm, has no…  Aura.


“Wolf or Hound… Your choice”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , on January 13, 2011 by ichas8440

Women run their mouths 24/seven about the characteristic/attitudes of the man in their lives.  Truth be Told; Choice was yours all along!

I’ve said it many time before and I’m gonna keep sayin’ it, mainly because this is what I believe.  This is what I’ve discovered to be true.

Women have more than an influence over their man; hell.  They have an influence over most males who cross their paths.  The problem; Females when young, playing in the play-ground, quickly discovering the world around ‘em, develop into the girl their Moms envisioned them to be!  This growth leads to those teenage years where livin’ an imaginary dream life created by a combination of Moms &…  Maybe Pops, if he’s around and gives a damn.  Well that dream promotes the girl into the ranks of womanhood but…  This is where the complications really become complex.

Nobody every told the girl who became a woman, that just like the man, she can grow into what is known as “janky”.  Not only in attitude but in every other way imaginable!  No one ever stepped up and said, especially back in the day when she had it her way that.  If she didn’t slow her roll, pay attention while realizing that she is “Boss Lady”, not “Boss”, she may go the way of most Bosses’ finding herself lost.  Turn-out, confused and hatin’ anything that resembled the opposite sex.  Oh yes, for those of you searching for the definition of janky don’t waste your energy.  Janky means a major problem for yourself because you think you are better than everybody else.

In the conclusion of two-thousand ten I didn’t get into what I was gonna do for the up-comin’ year.  In fact I recall saying that resolution were a waste of time because they ain’t ever kept.  I did however break down some startling percentage relating to Western Society’s women and “them” finding “their-selves” by “themselves”.  I did that purposely as I like teasers.  Teasers lead to Pleasers if you know how to allow the teaser to stimulate thought.  Mental considerations so we…  Maybe together, once you wake up can step into tomorrow with a joint focus on making it better for all concerned.  Not later but right now

Okay, I admit it, I fed you an intoxicating meal, but.  It wasn’t to get ‘cha drunk.  If anything what I served you was merely a smooth stimuli.  One meant to assist you in releasing those inhibitions which have caused many of you those yearly melancholy walks.  But hey, unlike you all I have evolved.  I don’t intend to let sadness be my friend.  I don’t need loneliness to slide up on me with that confirmation that I’m alone!  Nor do you, so pay attention and you just might notice the way to attract attention.

First and foremost accept the fact that there are distinct differences between He&She.  That’s right, you may be of the same species, but…  Neither of you see a bright lite day as a lovely day.  And no, he’s not always lookin’ at ‘cha as this sex Goddess.  Sometimes his mind is so cluttered that you ain’t even a blimp on his radar.  Oh, you can forget about secreting the chemicals that if the moment is right, will cause a bubblin’ of his testosterones, because the males of today who are real men have…  Shall I say, evolved.

Back in the day I was a Wolf.  For me, women were like those ‘lil lambs that Mary kept.  Well guess what.  I’m still a wolf and women still give me those eyes that you all know how to shot at a guy optically express your unseen agenda.  But, even though Moms didn’t fully explain to you how to tell the difference between a Wolf and a Hound, way too many of you’ve had encounters with prototypes representative of each group.  Which is to say you know your flava’ and what attracts.  You also know that get crazy with the wrong one and it’s usually you who’ll suffer the full effects of the emotional rollercoaster.

Hey, I said there are distinct differences but I didn’t say there weren’t similarities in how the two sexes process info

Now, knowing the differences between a Wolf and Hounds isn’t to say one is better than the other.  The superiority comes in the arena in which they play.  Just like you, yes women.  Some of you have engaged, dated, married and now reside within the ranks of Cougars.  Others wanna be this Momma Grizzly while playing on the consciousness of those less aware, knowing you are just out to come up financially while increasing your social position.  Then there are still others assume the position of friend, lover with the eventual hopes of becoming more than that.  But, you still know what ‘cha know about men.  The obstacle that you keep encountering is nothing new.  This obstacle known as “Fall Apart Canyon” is there because you have never vanquished it in the first place.

Obstacles keep reappearing in your life because of this one fact.  You won’t deal from a perspective of what is!  You seem to be stuck on what you though it was!  Which…  Wasn’t every there from the get-go.

Perception is a monster.  Reality is what is, simple as that.  Wolves howl, Hounds bay.  Just like man, these are ways of communicating within their ranks.  You being the woman are no different than any other female given the prescribed species.  Oh, I retract.  Being of the human species you have been blindfolded while accepting the lead in a production that has been produced many times before.  Sometimes you are the understudy of a star who played a stupid-ass role.  Now taking this into account you understand why it is you keep getting the same results.

Today every other woman is chasing the “bling”.  Oh, many say it isn’t so, but…  Stop the Drama.  Whatever it is admit it.  To qualify what I’ve said, vibe of this.  Who is your Momma?  What about your friends?  Recognize the similarities and don’t dismiss ‘em.  That’s where your understudy began.  Those are the sources of you!

This is not to say any of these role defining instructors are damned.  The role was the culprit.  The producer of the production is also at fault.  You see, in order to keep the masses confused while building your world of monuments to “yourself” one ingredient is a must.  That ingred. is confusion between the sexes.

Psssss;  Hey, I’m not the hater in all of this.  I came from woman.  Every woman who’s aligned herself with me has come with the 3 B’s.  They’ve all had beauty, booty and brains.  Because of the Wolfiness in me I couldn’t keep the Hound dog outta me.  But…  First and foremost I am Wolf.  I had no difficulty in returning to the essences of me.  In the process while strolling in the forest alone, wondering where my Lady Wolf had vanished to, I recognize one fact.  The Lady Wolf who knew she was a Wolf wasn’t Houndin’ around.  She wasn’t running with a Lady Wolf Pack howling at the moon in hopes of being discovered by a Pack of Nomadic Wolves.  Naw, the Lady Wolf was up-stream enjoying a freshly caught salmon dinner waiting on a real Wolf to discover the realities of his true environment.  “Holla’ back!”