Archive for Cougars


Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , , on June 2, 2011 by ichas8440

While dropping from fifty thousand feet I glanced over at my friend who happened to be descending along with me, smiled and said.  “Hey, it don’t matter when we hit the ground but…  If we happen to land in the middle of the jungle and are surrounded by those fabled Amazon Women Warriors, we…  We will still be Kings!”

Edwin Starr an R&B Recording Artist from way back when wrote a song entitled “War”.  This song mirrored the unsaid feelings of all those who were experiencing war but hadn’t a clue of the dynamics of all out conflict.

Edwin, came up in the same era as Marvin Gaye who also scripted lyrics as no one else could, mainly because he had that same insight regarding life.  Years after Edwin Marvin came out with a cut known as “Let’s Get It On”, and yes.  The world got it on in a communicative sense really not seen since!

People wanna talk the talk and act as if they know the walk but…  In my previous post I injected some of what General Douglas MacArthur said about war.  Douggie words were just as Mohandas “Mahatma’ Gandhi’s words were when speaking about the result of things one actually knows.  Still…  Recalling some of the responses received, many missed the connection injected regarding how a warrior felt about war.

Once; ok, maybe more than once but this one caught my eye and I had to engage in “The Dance of Deception” with her.  While doing this something click in her mind and…  As if her breath was taken away she reaches for her throat, lowers her eyes and said.  “You are flirting with me”.  I’m not confrontational especially where a woman is concerned, so I play right along with her.  Bashfully smile but verbally say.  “As pretty as you are, with all this visual flirtation you’re throwin’ my way…  Why would I approach you in any other way.”

My words came as a question but a definitive statement none the less and she definitely knew my intentions.  Her smile exploded, the words between us begin to resonate as if we were two people from the same school, and…  The day lead into the night, the waves kept crashing along the shore line and the sun met us the next morning.  Still, in the same spot.  This was a situation of knowing who I am and whom I was engaging.  Straight that!

I came up in a time when knowledge was acquired from those who had it, not from those who theorized about it.  Dining one day I happened to witness a youngster arguing with a waitress about what; I haven’t a clue.  What I knew was as this situation intensified others, who had nothing to do with this matter at all, put themselves right in it.  Not as a productive proponent but just adding to the mess.  Mind you now, this was a restaurant, not a boxing arena where testosterones run high.  Needlessly, the waitress became rabid herself, flipped her switch, taking on all comers who sought some of the same “DRAMA”.

Before I get to my point let me tell you this.  When I said those magic words, my party morphed while re-appearing in a restaurant by the name of Ga’ston.  It was kitty corner off of La Brea & Wilshire in the heart of the Miracle Mile area of L.A.  Linen table clothes, gold inlaid eating utensils placed along the side of fine chinaware, adorned by a single long stemmed rose that complimented the entire setting.  Yes, the tone was set for those who wonder inside not knowing the ambience before hand.

We were seated and the service was fabulous.  The other diners, upon seeing us, politely tipped their glasses our way in recognition of this moment.  The accompanying music seemed to have been organized just for us also.  Everybody smiled, profiled and enjoying who they were as much as whom they were with.  Two scenarios one showing discord while the other; harmony.  Two situations taking place during the same moment in life, but.  Because of how the knowledge came about in the minds of the people spoken of, one shows real understanding of how to engage life while the other depicts what I see as bamboozled minds!

Old men seek young women all the while defaming the old women who are goin’ about advertises for the attention of the young man.  Old men talk about the “turkey necks” these older women have, the spotted hands while laughing and saying“These bitches have dried up so how can they even think I’m gonna get it up?”  These words are definitely expressed as a question which reveals one thing to me.  But…  I will not put that one thing out there ‘til I drop the other shoe so to speak.  Now, check this.

Old women, who wanna be seen as mature, refined and very much sophisticated, refer to themselves as Cougars.  Seeking young men while also “blasting” on the old men for foolin’ themselves into believing those young women they chase are really interested in them.  Continuing, the older women say the older men are “tired ass limp dick shells of what they use ‘ta be”.

Who knows what the older women are really thinking, I mean if it was a case of the situation being flipped.  I wouldn’t concern myself with what anybody thought because…  Right, I would have gotten my knowledge from a real source and not some theoretical Transformer assuming any position that sells!  Making my moves “trump” giving me dominion over all that I do, letting me focus on that “par—tic—u—lar” someone who’s attracted my full attention!

I told you all once and you may have not gotten it back then, so I’ll bring it around again.  “The Game”, it’s bought and sold but never…  Never ever just told!  Think of going to Harvard.  You don’t just walk up and say, “hey it’s me”.  You are chosen for certain things, straight that!

Psssss;  Everybody is running around, screaming about everybody else.  Wondering why society is so ‘uck up.  What no one is seeing is that many in society haven’t ever been pulled to the side, told to shut up, given the foundations of the program which are basics, then…  Left alone so that they may evaluate what they have and associate it with what they know and…  Well you figure out the rest.  Thank you and I’m out…


Swim In My Lake

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , , on December 13, 2010 by ichas8440

Usually it’s not my pleasure to follow-up one piece immediately with another.  Motives; let’s say what I serve is better with marination.  Imagine our national treasure the Grand Canyon.  Some fly over, glance outta the small port window while saying, “Oh, that’s lovely, now let’s go”.  Others drive to the G.C., jump out, hustle to the along the man-made barriers while cautiously stepping so as not to get too close to the rim, turn and say they’ve seen it.  This is followed by an audible expression such as “great”, which only confirms the exasperated feelings deep within.  Are you feeling where I’m comin’ from?  Life is meant to be felt as you embrace the realities allowing this indescribable subtle vibe warms you over like a tasty cookie.  Now you tell me, how do you enjoy without consideration followed by thought of what you’ve witnessed?

The Set-Up

Remember the story of 101 Dalmatians?  That Disney picture about those spotted dogs.  One character needs to be brought front and center in this expose’ I’m presenting.  She is none other than Cruella  De Vil.  Selfish, yes, but…  Delightful in her ability to focus on her desires, while being oblivious of others.  Cruella added much to the flick by providing a depth that wasn’t achievable through all the other characters performances.

Well get with this, Cruella didn’t have a thang’ on Ms. Geneva DeVore the predetermined Cougar ending the installments attached to “Cougar Me”.  G.D is totally self-absorbed.  Actually she’s deserving of this obsession?  Geneva is the classic example of an ugly Duckling that went on to find out she wasn’t duck at all, but a Swan lost amongst a sea of bad situations.  Once her transformation was complete, “Swan” aka Ms. DeVore decided to go rogue.  Separating from those of the reservation while creating havoc for all the un-sophisticated Cubs who walked into her web.

As for physical attributes, she was graciously appointed.  If you were to see her you’d say she was all that and a bag of chips.  Personally, I just don’t take my chips with such a huge helping of “dip” if you understand.  Her choice of condiment could have only been associated with the wonderful creation requiring avocados.  A ‘lil peeling, some mashing, a few dabs of spice and everything is right.  Not where Geneva is concerned.  No one ever told her guacamole is best served immediately and when left out too long, it’s just plain nasty.

Our interview started off with a request from her, inviting me over to her home as a starting point for our discussions on Cougarism.  No no no, this wasn’t for me, another’s domain, under these circumstances.  This is a recipe that can easily turn naughty, but…  Being the man I am, I agreed.  Wrong move!  She owned these ‘lil Terriers that had complete run of the house.  Little cuties that deposited stanky stuff everywhere they squatted.  Oh, Geneva, it didn’t appear to matter to her.  Despite of the tainted air, she offered coffee.  Once she served me, I thought about sippin’ on the hot beverage seeing that it was a cold day.  But…  Based on the condition of her home, I couldn’t do it.  Knowing where she came from, that ugly duckling situation and all, I tried to look past what I felt was a big negative, while saying to myself, she didn’t deserve any harsh treatment.  But.

Okay, maybe some of you are saying, “No no, you can’t be that judgmental”.  Then there are those of you springing from the camp whose feeling go along these lines.  “Maybe she didn’t want you there in the first place so she made it deplorable by choice.” Alright, I got something for both camps, let’s say your significant other deletes the air you breathe with one of those “silent but deadly ones”. I guess you all say it was perfectly justifiable too!

Okay truth; this is my piece and I do it my way.  It’s always best to satisfy self before you even attempt to please others.  I said I was gonna do a three-some and I always keep my word.  Geneva is an ‘itch!  Certified and bona-fied.  You want her, I’ve got her.  So without further delay, here’s the ‘itch.

Geneva DeVore

Hey lady, I really don’t like you and you know it.  “Something about me intrigues you so you’re here.  Agree on that?” Alright.  Why are you a Cougar?  “I could say because I have a kitty, but then you’d probably say I was being crude.” Nope, maybe crusty but crude, not hardly?  Crude connotes the possibility of refinement.  Polished-up so to speak.  “Do you like my toe-nail color,  I love the  way it reflects my eyes.” That’s why I’m here, you don’t trip no matter what is said.  Like when we first exchanged glances.  I told ‘ya with my eyes, I wasn’t the one.  Still you didn’t take it personal.  I liked that.  “Personal…  Darling, the boy-toys are gonna come for me regardless of what you saw in me at that time.”

Geneva does intrigue, and how she lived was something I wouldn’t allow to be a negative factor in what I sought from her.  The key to life is not to allow anything which doesn’t conform to your standards keep you from enhancing you.  If she, meaning Geneva was typical, she wouldn’t be adding anything to my piece.  Our personalities weren’t alike but she had her attractions.  In my eyes we were two positive individuals who didn’t necessarily want the attention associated with the bright lights germane to success.   In this case it was the opposites which attracted, making for an appealing contrast, so what if I didn’t approve of her living conditions.  We could always exit her personal domain, which we eventually did.

Once within the light of the sun, it dancing upon her, she seemed to stumble emotionally.  Her comfort level was evaporating.  Not a person with pale skin so I couldn’t say her reaction was  medically related.  There was a marked aversion to daylight, but one based on an inhibition.  This was further observed as we walked into the café.  At the door she hesitated as if almost reluctant to engage the scene.  Standoffish I would say.  To dispel this attitude I extended my hand as if guiding her to our seats.  This changed the social dynamic and she accepted with a smile.  At the table she immediately picked up a piece of the silverware.  As if it was something exotic, she ran her fingers over the etching inscribed.  This was another ploy, one used to allow her to avoid the eye contact with those seated around us.  Oh, I wasn’t invading her consciousness.  Remember, this is what I do.

If someone else would have been witnessed to this, they’d assume nothing.  But the someone else’s aren’t me.  I took a sip of my water, diverted my eyes, fully knowing that here was a woman who commanded the attention of numerous male suitors, but.  She was a woman who was locked in battle about her past.  Memories that she wouldn’t let go of.  The thoughts that come with the loneliness of being alone gripped her and I knew that it was now for me to reach out and touch.  Assist her in rising from this dismal image she held of herself.  Understanding that fear is in all of us, and having to deal with that same fear many times in my own past, I engaged.

Outside of her home and not running the show she was acting as if cornered by a Pit-Bull.  I represented the Pit and she didn’t fear me as much as what I conjured up within her mind.  Fear does that.  It isn’t the fear of what you are facing as much as it is the fear of what may be attached to the circumstances or situation.  Call it the environmental impact thing, doesn’t change a thing.  Society gets into our minds and has a way of ‘ucking up everything.  Geneva had issues, it was obvious.  Everybody has issues.

Cougarism wasn’t a step at all for her.   She simply reversed the social dynamic once she knew she was that lovely Swan.  What was creating this issue was her thoughts as to what I wanted from her.  Being in public and not doing what she knew how to do.  She needed to return to being the swan.

My next words were to simply state her name, DeVore.  Hearing her name, she snapped out of it and responded.  “Hey you, do you lets order something?” Not wanting to get away from where I was headed, I came back with’ Maybe I’ll order you?  That did it and she bit.  “Darling lets keep this on business.” Yes, she said it but by the way she was peeking over the menu I knew she wanted the attention and if I refused, she’d withdraw even tighter.

“Staying in the pocket” so to speak, I said.  Hold up, did you think I was saying I wanted you in a sexual sense?  “No, now how could I get that out of what you said Darling?  If anything, we will eat, talk and afterwards, I’ll take you back to my home and…” And what DeVore?  Now she was feeling it, I had hit the right button.  Revealing in the power that all women hold, she opened up and…

Girl I’m here for you.  Not to question you then quickly condemn, but…  Talk to me.  Let’s shed some of the real on this Cougarism thing, okay.  “I like the way you move so casually, as if this is just another interview.  You are full of yourself aren’t cha?” Yes, yes I am.  But who isn’t?  “Alright, I can go with this.” Can you DeVore?  If you can tell me what I want to know.

Pausing for a moment because the waitress was trying to ear hustle, (listen to our conversation).  Smiling politely she got the hint and moved off quickly.  We continued.

DeVore are you happy with being identified as a Cougar?  “Doesn’t bother me a bit.” Oh so you’re cool with the images society paints you as?  “Darling after all those years of working behind a perfume counter, coming home to an empty house, thinking about how the women acted like my only desire was to serve them.  Ms. DeVore give me this, Geneva give me that, grabbing at ever sample sitting on the counter tops like little starving thieves.  Then, get this, hand me a couple of dollars telling me to have lunch on them while making it perfectly obvious that they were handing me a couple of dollars.  Dollars they waved around so their friends could see.  I can’t say my impression is any worse than those who’ve coined the term Cougar.”

Now we were rollin’.  She was out and making it all happen, The Cougar known as Ms. Geneva DeVore had turned the corner with me.

What are your views on this phenom known as Cougarism.  “Hype, all hype.  The economy is in the toilet.  Society is all caught up, what is it you say; tripping.  That empty house I told you about.  Remember?  It wasn’t empty, I’m married, or was.  He took me for granted and now I’m taking what is granted to me.  It’s funny how women miss who they are until they accept who they were, ya know.”

This wasn’t a question but a statement of fact.  Geneva was another very conscious person.  She wasn’t the stupid ass ‘itch I mentioned, blindly following a trend.  When we spoke on the inner conditions of the life she lived…  Well get with this.  DeVore, do you do the cruises designed for Cougars.  “Darling I don’t need a place to party.  Those Cruise-liners are following the dollars.  Everybody is chasing the same dollar, economic times.  Remember, I was in retail.  Perfume sales, retail okay.  These cruises are sponsoring these Cougar trips.  They say it’s just a small percentage of their space used, but…  Disney is even in it, just check on it when you get  a chance.”

The Intel flowed and it was apparent she wasn’t bitter as most would believe.  She was doin’ her.  Hubby was the fool in this script.  Assumed he had rescued the ugly duckling, provided her with a home.  One where he served himself after she spent the day at the factor a la retail counter.  Mother Nature was doing what Mother Nature did and he knew in order to keep doin’ him, he’d have to find a way to preserve her.  With this in mind he hurriedly signed her up at the local gym.  The P.T. (Personal Trainer), once up on that body, recognized the potential within, toned her up and…  The rest as they say; is history.

Geneva DeVore isn’t the typical Cougar.  None of those I’ve spoken with in order to complete my quest are typical anything.  I cannot do conventional.  When you want to know about something you’ve gotta find those who actually provide the substance that holds that something together.  She broke down societies take on Cougarism, just like those I engaged before her were able to point out.  Cougar.  Women setting themselves up for the attraction of younger men,  nothing new.  Women have been doing this for centuries.  Each and every one of ‘em has their own reasons for engaging.  Life is like that.  One day a duck who can only quack, the next day; Swan.

DeVore doesn’t drive a Bentley.  She doesn’t have a house in the hills.  She lives at 7734 AnyBodies Lane, located in Universal Everywhere.  The spot we initially met in, an apartment where kids can be heard playing in the green belts behind the units.  Plus, she still has her home with hubby.  On top of all this she can be found strolling along the boardwalk of Venice Beach.  She can also be seen along the Canal Shops in Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.  Is she a bad person?  Who’s bad?  She has risen above the nastiness that is perpetrated by those who call themselves pillars of the community.  She could be you mother.  FYI, don’t trip as you wouldn’t even know if Moms was living this sort of life, this is merely a statement for the conclusion.

Psssss; Giving or taking, you shouldn’t say what you wouldn’t do especially when you aren’t aware of all the circumstances you may or may not have to deal with.  What  you should know while understanding yourself is this.  Communications begins with the self.  Talk to you, recognize you, it’s okay, you’re not crazy.  Like I mentioned, I satisfy me first.  When one doesn’t know self, how in the hell can one step to and attempt to please another!

Jade Cougar, Cougar Jade. Jaded? You tell me!

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , on November 30, 2010 by ichas8440

Males, especially those of Western society seem to be enchanted with the infusion of an Asian woman coming into their lives.  Lucky me, I’ve had real first person access with Asian women so I know their effect and swear by ’em if you asked me what it is to be treated like a “King”.  So yes, when it comes to Asian women there is a marvelous up-side.  This is what the masses don’t know about Asian women.  When I sit in conversation with some women and an Asian female happens to stroll by, the visible rivalry can get defeaning.  To settle this surfacing intimidation, I usually smile while letting whomever it is seated with me that their fangs are showing.  Which reminds me, if I was to roll back and take a glimpse into my memory banks, recalling times when “she” captivated me.  “She” would be none other than Turiko.

A provocative woman by way of Osaka Japan.  A true to life walking, talking Geisha.  Loyalty?  Undeniable.  So much so that I’d say she personified the “L” in the word.  Did I promote this loyalty?  All day.  When it came to her, genuine personal attention was my DNA signature.  A behavioral characteristic women will die for.  Sadly, many males haven’t a clue as to what a woman wants.  Collectively males assume that to show emotional content in their demeanor is rather lame, which is why continuity in most relationship is something only imagined.

“T”, as I affectionately refer to her as, wasn’t accustomed to being treated as an equal.  Coming from Japan and despite of its globally projected image of being socially progressive, women are regulated to the third or lesser class.  I recall Turiko always saying that if she’d of married, it would have been no chance of her coming to America solo.  “Hey, sounds medieval.  We don’t live like this anymore.” If this is your thought dismiss it.  Mainly because these types of thoughts only confirm that one hasn’t ventured outside of their immediate community.  “Ah,got it, ‘ol school.” I wouldn’t say that either.  Historical, traditional.  All the cultural of Japan has been successfully documented, and for thousand of years.  “Hummm, with this wide-spread democracy, I can’t believe women of Japan are subservient today.” Okay, get this; in the grand view of things, democracy is actually subjective.  When an Asian woman is present in public, she acts no different than any other woman.  Like women of other societies, much is concealed regarding their personal life.  Behind closed doors there is still a strong commonality as to what goes on, but…  With the Asian women something is minus.  Not missing but minus!  She is the woman who has no fear in serving the noted needs of their chosen mate.  It is this latter part as in (noted needs of their mate) which causes other males, no matter the race, creed or color, to search high and low for Asian women.  This combined with an internally driven mentality derived from the mindset found in most sexist individuals.

Asian women aren’t subservient just because.  Nor do their men “crack that whip” demanding that role be maintained.  The Asian womans’ desire to delight is an acquired characteristic.

Turiko is academically taught and comes with a full complement of executive skills.  She isn’t fifth gen. clone either.  She is someone who dreams are made of.  In being with her I wouldn’t deny her the option of serving me nor would I consider it.  Label me a sexist, it wouldn’t faze me, besides.  Anyone, male or female given such an opportunity of havin’ it their way; would.  And don’t think you are that exception.

“T” being my first confirmed one thing.  Kindness will always get ‘cha plenty of sweetness.  In sharing her honey she created a needed stimuli both emotionally and psychologically deep within me.  Eventually I knew she had an expiration date, and when it came around.  I’d shed a tear, recover and quickly accept her absence while calmly putting her in those files marked, influenced by haters.  Then quietly step forth and select another who came with the same tenderness.

In travellin’ down this memory lane, I, catching sight of another who came into my life.  Asian also.  Subservient, sexy and sinfully irresistible, but…  Like Prince said, “Scandalous”.  This one was the type who’d break the above average man.  handle him to the point of havin’ him swear off all women.  But not me.  I’m not average or above average.  I dealt with her shape-shifting, chalked it up as a by-product of many years of suffrage.  The type she nor I could understand or where ready to deal with, yet…  It was because of her that I grew from an exposure that said to me, all women have an agenda.  Asian.  No different, and like other women, they only tell ‘ya what the feel you need to know.  Ladies.  Gentlemen.  Allow me to bring her forth;


Her ancestry is also legendary.  State of origin, Bi.  Never heard of the place?  Nor I until she first mentioned it.  Bao-yu is from the city of Chongqing which is situated in the interior of China.  State-side, the sister-city would be Seattle Washington.  She is fluent in mandarin and many other Chinese dialects.  Oh, did I forget to mention she speaks a total of 8 languages?  Okay, now you know.  Her English, fluent.  There wasn’t any nervous moments between us when we spent time getting to know each other, in fact she let me know that she had been kidnapped at a young age.  Said it was at the hands of a neighbor.  It always the neighbor ya know.  Now that we have become more familiar with each other, I see why she has this predisposition boarding on callousness towards men.

Another something that unites Seattle & Chongqing City.  They both exist within an environment that has an undercurrent of organized criminal activity imbedded within its infrastructure.  “Okay, make point.”

Bao-yu also has a characteristic that seems un-containable.  Exactly like that undercurrent mentioned.  I call this easily identifiable trait as being, “smart-mouth”.  Actually it is camouflage at best.  A deflection because she comes with and advanced intellect.  Very opinionated but no trace of the typical ignorance most women come with when they feel the need to “sparkle”.  Malice?  Looking at ‘cha with those deceptive eyes that have a hard time concealing the evil-within?  Missing too.  Flaring nostrils as she boldly defies you while you talk?  Not there.

Knowing that many wanna know what they assume to be fact about the Cougar within, I asked her if she slept with the Cubs she attracted.  Her words, “When I take toe, massage, calf twitch.  Jump faintly.  Nothing matter after that.” Bao-yu was smooth and lost me on this one, but I knew that she knew exactly what I had said.  Flipping the structure of my sentence, I went right back at her with the same question.  And got a slightly different answer.  “You good.  Phrase question differently.  Same question.  Lucky for me man who think I Cougar can get, how you say; weak in knees.  They not pay so much attention like you.”

Third advance of a 2 level approach, and she showed even more of her wit.  “Okay, okay, I answer.  I don’t like museum by myself.  I don’t like play by myself.  Young man, Cub come to me, maybe I tease.  No matter, woman alone in America no good in eyes of people.” I considered what she said, but only for a moment.  She answered me well, you just had to listen.  Hey, I didn’t say she wasn’t evasive.

It was within our dialogue that I got a strong sense she knew the male personality who sought older women.  She also allowed me to know that these men didn’t confine their interest to putting their sexual powers on full display either.  Many, (even if they won’t cop to it) were full of themselves.  And if money was in the mix, it only made them more aggressive.  Sorta’ like that person who “hides in the closet”.  It’s in ’em but you’d never know.  As for the sex, I had to get back on that track.  Still evasive but willing to shed more light on the fact that she wasn’t playin’ at this life.  Vibe off of her words for a moment and don’t trip about it being outta context.  “What I have better than gold.  I gold.  Why I give self up so easily?  Man leave in time anyway!”

You know, she was right.  Everyone, especially Cubs, have an agenda.

Sitting across from her, it was easy to surmise.  To see her in living color, you’d quickly say she was a blossom floating down from a cherry tree in the dead of winter.  Strong impressions of that demure nature indicative of most Asian women.  A female, alone on a lonely shoreline waiting to be swept off her feet, and…  At her own expense.  Not so where Bao-yu is concerned.  When I pressed her she used a term that applies her which was, “Not in my tea leaves”.

Now that we were rollin’ I stepped back, revisited something she said.  Her words, “I don’t like play by myself” made me think of a woman into self-satisfaction.  As I asked her to clarify this statement in context or out, she intimated that masturbation wasn’t in her psyche’.  Adding that the word was merely articulated in a relative sense.  I heard her and knew that I should have known better than to speak on something so obviously placed.  Put out there to let me know she was Bao-yu, but not a leaf in a cherry orchard floating aimlessly.

Moving seamlessly I asked about Cougars dressing up their mates, (Cubs).  Was this about regression?  She said it was a mis-conception about Cougarism, but one that had merit.  Seems Cougars (like many women) engage in certain behavior based on a desire to return to yester-years.  A time when two people together wasn’t placed under the glass of examination.  Then she flipped this and said the it is an America thing.  “Cub maybe make them think doll.  Get older, many things think about, life with doll much better.”

Again, I had to ponder her statements and while I did, she decided to go celestial on consciousness.  “When American man look at woman, he give self away.  Eyes, hungry.  I see shoe, shoe ragged, he not man for me.  Clothes tattered, he scavenger, hunting, needed.  You dress nice.  You not look desperate.  I see you.  You come to me, we talk.  You say you different.  Why you think I same?”

In my desire to put it out there right, you are getting it just as I did.  Her English comprehension, pronunciation as it translates to the written word…  When you interpret her meaning by the sentence structure appearing her, I ask you not to get it twisted.  Bao-yu is far superior than many imagine, and.  She’s definitely a compliment to her sex.  She fully understood the projections and intent of my questions.  She is a woman who enjoys her life and knew that people wanted that seedy side of Cougarism.  In recalling the talks between her and I, I knew that it is people who don’t understand those like Bao-yu.  She is not pretentious but others who are, demand that she be put in a place.  Categorized.  Well guess what, if it hadn’t been for her humor, I don’t think I’d of written this piece.  She made it what it is!

Staying my course, we brushed on the ratio regarding Cougars to Cubs when she said.  “Must be many lonely women, men chase older woman always more.  5 for everyone like me.” This reference led to the issues concerning age, which was where she went academic on me.  With a true sense of etiquette she crossed her legs and spoke softly saying.  “We adult, why age intrigue?  Legal all that matter.”

We happened to be seated in a flowering garden with roses next to me.  I took one, caressed it by the stem and said to her.  Like this rose I’m holding Bao-yu.  It’s full of thorns and if you aren’t aware of the characteristics or conditions of the bush.  Hold up, she chimed in before I could finished my statement, saying.  “Not careful, you get stuck.  Like age between me and Cub.  Too young, problem.  Condition not right for date.  Must be aware, must be aware.”

With each of her answers examined in a collective sense, I knew she was beyond the refinement society demands of their women.  She wasn’t a woman seeking anything outside of what she was willing to offer or accept from her selected mate.  It is society that has taken a segment of life, pulled it outta the closet, chopped it up while tell all what is was ‘pose to be.

A las, I popped that ultimate question.  What was her motivation for participation?  Was it the parties?  The access to un-restricted sex?  What?  She didn’t refuse or deny me.  She hit hard and stayed hard.  “You smart man, no dummy.  Sex, no condom, possible death.  Fun.  I have fun with, without man.  Your audience, Americans.  Too much time on hand.  Not enough time considering importance of life.  There is term L.T.R., you know what mean?” Another example of bait and switch, she kep talkin’ and didn’t wait for my answer.  “Mean long-term relationship.  I no want Cub for long anything.  He not even understand who he is.  Cub not for me.  Cub media fabrication.  You ask many question.  I ask question.  You say many time in past; “didn’t see me coming”.  You know own words?  Now you do not see Bao-yu coming Mister 22nd G!”

Psssss; I truly like what I do.  It provides the opp. to examine while exploring facets of like that push my own belief system.  People assume way too much, in the past I did too.  In pushing this envelope I recognized that I’ve learned much during my past days.  Enough to know that Bao-yu survived her kidnapping.  She traversed an ocean, touching down on foreign soil.  Smiled and kept it movin’.  I don’t judge or assess the validity of others.  Nor will I Bao-yu.  She…  Well, Bao-yu means “Precious Jade“.  Jade can be found in different countries.  It comes in various degrees of established value.  A worth based on individual properties.  Values assigned following a standard created by those who assume what will be.  Jade, when ending with a “d” defines one who has been affected by circumstances ’til they constantly live in and with negativity.  I prefer the living sample of the Precious Jade; Bao-yu.

“My Cougar”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , on November 1, 2010 by ichas8440

In the R&D stages of ichas8440 it was obvious that I follow the protocol leading to success.  Once everything was in place to whereas I felt justice would come out of it, I got with some of my FOLK to give them a glimpse of things to come.  Imagine, they loved it.  Okay, this was anticipated but not completely expected.  Right, expectations can lead to those dreaded failures we all experience in life.  You know the ones that place us in the line for visitations to those low down funky spaces, but hey, my FOLK over the decades of holding it down with me have also; become seasoned.

Following their gracious reception, it was time for me to step outside of my arena, circulate amongst the masses and watch as they either got a load of me.  Or, un loaded on me.  I came not only in a visual sence but with full audio.  Yes, if I was to do this I needed to feel the real.  Some gravitated to what I was about, others stuck their noses up in the air while strutting away letting me know they didn’t care.

But…  In life there are some who “bear watching” and these are the ones who usually adopt the mantra in today’s society which says.  “Loudmouth asshole types are way cool.  Civility is very much over rated, but up close while being extreme is the way to go.” Yes, these are the ones who basically “SPAT” at me.  Their stance was duly noted.  Still, they weren’t stoppin’ a thing.

To stand while delivering is something that many have failed to understand, adapt to or even believe in.  Turning while running when things go bad, seems to have become the way of Western Society.  Personally, I know that it is good to change like the seasons.  The process is simply and it definitely brings about a renewal.  A rising of the spirit.  Still there are dumb-asses who want to halt your progress.  Much like those who accepted my leaflets then…  Maliciously ripped ’em up while tossing them to the wind.

Its good that I can breathe again.  Toni Braxton popularized the phrase and many should revisit the lyrics for clarification of where I’m at.  You see, while I stepped back, taking full advantage of the moment while these fools attempted to dis me, I was able to maintain my senses.  It was during the moment that I could see what my next move required.

Premeditation can work for you and…  Premeditation can also work against you.  In this case it would work for the good of me.  It was during this moment that those bullies experienced a lapse in focus allowing me the op-out, before they knew what happened.  They hadn’t seen me comin’ then and they didn’t see me as I stood beside their cars waiting and prepared.  Watching as they laughed, givin’ each other “high fives” while re-enacting how they assumed they punked me.  Yes, they didn’t see it comin’; now…  Here I stood.

“To all of you, I present Catalina, aka “Cat”.  My premier Cougar”

As Cat and I played with the stares as if kids scoping one another out on the playground to see who was gonna break first for that lone swing off in the distance, I casually asked if she wanted her pic shown to the world.  Silly me!  In pondering my words her response set the tone needed for a smooth entry into her world.  “Babe I have a life, thanks for the chance at exposure but, I’m not interested.” Basically this was to say, regardless of the path she was now walking within this life, her privacy wasn’t about to be compromised.

Cat has been on this planet longer than most modern marriages have or will survived.  She’s doin’ the Cougar thing which is fine by me.  Oh, and before I omit it, she’s still married.  Hubby, as she says with a note of endearment, “He’s into the little blue pill, why I don’t know, he’s seldom home”.  To many the interpretation is a no-brainer.  Hubby’s use of Viagra supported with the fact of him seldom being home, suggest he’s on the prowl himself.  Possibly Hubby has his own source known as the fountain of youth, someone sexy hummm!  Again as Cat speaks.  “If this were the case, whomever he’s entertaining she’s doing all the work because with the introduction of that little blue pill, he barley has the strength to slip on his shoes.”

In hearing this I was moved to ask Cat about the possibility of “Hubby” comin’ out of the closet and…  If this isn’t the case maybe it is another female.  Response.  “So what, whatever floats his boat, as long as he keeps up with Phil.” The Phil thing threw me, but she explained.  Phil is the neighbor, a long time family friend, and, Hubby’s primary physician. Cat, she delicious, and I knew there were those unseen reasons why she and I clicked from day one.  Now you can enjoy her also.

Because she is married, but stepping out, I wondered why she just didn’t cash it in, bail while living off the proceeds of her palimony or pre-nup agreement.  Response.  “When you have a tree that produces , enjoy the fruit.  Only a fool would toss something with full productivity still ahead.” Saying this in such a matter-of-factly way I was induced to reach over and kiss her.  That done, I inquired as to the publics’ impression of her lifestyle.  Catalina, sipped on her cup of hot tea, exhaled while watching the passing behind of some guy, answered me without ever taking an eye off her new-found subject.  “The public is public, they wouldn’t know me if I stripped off my clothes, posed while standing in the window of my hotel suite.”

Was she conceited?  Could Cat have become so jaded ’til she felt she stood alone and was equipped to say, “uck th world’?  Who is Catalina, aka Cat?

Let me introduce you to my sexy friend.  She drives a Bentley.  Go back to the graphic at the beginning of this piece.  That’s hers.  Hubby, corporate lawyer.  Conceited, hardly!  Real, all day in every way!  Catalina isn’t the typical, proto-typical sample of what or whom a Cougar is.  When I met her she was driving one of those sexy ‘lil Volkswagen Bettle, color lime.  Most in today’s society are having a rough enough time affording one car let alone two.  She is a woman who isn’t trying to arrive but knows she’s been on the scene longer than most have been playing their role as an adult.  Botox?  She doesn’t need it.  Titty lifts or reductions, collagen injections?  Take it from me, I just exchanged a full lip kiss, and…  Brushed up on the twins, everything is a ‘la natural.  Cat has either taken excellent care of her bod or comes from a fantastic gene pool.

Catalina isn’t about to follow any new-wave lifestyle, nor is she gonna apology for who she is.  She mentioned that all thing can come and they come when you don’t expect ’em.  Like her Hubby’s reliance on his little purple pill, or her becoming overly concerned about Hubby’s sexual orientation.  She used a metaphor that needs to be shared, it went like this.  “I love lemonade, lemons when in their natural form, I use for flavor.” Whoa, killer mentality?  Nope.  A woman whose become dangerous, callous because of a hubby who’s taken her for granted?  I didn’t get this vibe either.  What I took from her response was that she is a woman who isn’t trying to set any flow, but knows how to ride one no matter how high or degree of difficulty.  Everyone, this is Cat, aka Catalina!

Psssss; What?  Expected some elaborate expose’  on the wild & kinky life of a woman you ain’t even knowing but demands to know?  I’m about identifying the subtle ways of communicating between the sexes.  cat’s psychological/emotional frequency is way above the average Cougar, or…  For that matter, female out there following the words of someone or somebody who’s only concern is to separate them from as much of their money as they can.  Did someone say lawyer!

Cougar, me?

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , on October 8, 2010 by ichas8440

“When you learn from the best you understand all the rest.  Cougars…”

Today the synonyms associated with the present social phenom politely referred to as Cougars are, Hotties, MILF, Urban Hunters, Rich Women, even Mad Women.  Regardless of how the Cougar is perceived, there is a powerful undercurrent of understanding this lifestyle which publicly resides in denial.  Maybe due to the scandalous component women of cougarism creates.

Then there are those of the mental health community who have defined Cougars as women experiencing a mid-life crisis.  To dispel this mis-conception the women who practice this lifestyle identify themselves as, “women who feel really comfortable entertaining younger men”.

“Real Talk”, people, communities, organizations with names followed by multiple letters never fail to amaze me.  Anytime there is a rising consciousness of something which appears to have social significance, immediately…  Camps are formed, separating each group by seemingly invisible lines in which these divisions stand authoritatively behind.  And while doin’ so, professing to have the exact medical term needed to define the malfunction of whomever or whatever it is they’ve set their sights on.  In this circumstance it is; Cougar.

Those who schooled me in the fine art of “cop, lock & block” did what  they do at the highest level.  A place within this Game of life that few will ever attain.  In my initial break-out blogs I introduced you all to Zel.  He received what in todays times would be the equivalent of a “mil-ticket” (reads one million dollars).  This is not based on anticipated earning but guaranteed salary.  Proceeds paid, directly deposited into his account by a woman whose age eclipsed Zel’s identified age by at least 20 years.  Male Cougar?  You decide.

C.W. aka “Pine”, another of those earlier guys who took me up under their wings, enjoyed his quiet adobe located in the lush hills of Monetecito cali.  His chosen mate was a woman 17 years his senior.  Many of those “haters” whispered behind their cloaked existence that the woman with him was being used.  Used based on what and whose assessment?  Could it have been the aged difference or was this alleged use based on the lavish gifts bestowed onto him by her?  Bas’teurd?  You call it.  Bill Clinton was said to be a bastard after the internationally publicized activities between him and Monica, but…  Was he that “bas’teurd”?

Finger pointing is not just an American thing but something found universally.  People love to accuse others of engaging in something socially despicable when they can’t do it.  And yes, you’ve read it correctly, CAN’T!

Can’t doesn’t imply that you won’t or you don’t.  Can’t means you lack the understanding & there is no possibility of you ever approaching, exploring or slightly engaging in that which you swear to know everything about.  Can’t also means that whatever it is you know you know you aren’t built nor will you ever be ready for, sooooo.  You act like it’s isn’t important because “you” of all people know its way outta your league.  Hence, condemnation.

There was a cartoon from days past.  One in particular always fascinated me and starred that rascally rabbit, last name Bunny first name Bugs.  His best portal of his character in motion came forth whenever he was minding his business, stroolin’ alone, chompin’ on a fresh carrot.  While engaged Bugs always seemed to attract a passel of yappin’ dogs.  Dogs run in packs and we all know “pack” comes with “pack mentality”.  Anyway these dogs would chase down Bugs, surround him as the lead dog pounced.  Because of the excitement created resulting in the pack mentality mentioned, every one of the other dogs would join in and pounce too.  Dogs, Bunny, especially Bugs, wrong combo.

Bugs was clever, resourceful and always able to apply adaptive intelligence.  In this case, tactics deployed with a keen understanding of strategic reasoning, Bugs came up on top of the pile of dogs.  My point!  Bugs knew who he was and knew how he was livin’.  Bunny knew of the inherent dangers no matter the environment he entered.  Maybe the rabbit engaged in “role play” way before he decided to skip alone chompin’ on a carrot.  I don’t know, what I do know is he knew enough to know the possibilities of the existence of X-factors.  Many of those who attempt to define the “fields in which others play” don’t even engage, so really.  How can they even attempt to come up with answers to issues they know very little about?

Okay, flip the script, remove Bugs and slip in, let’s say, Cougar.  Do you know the actual motivations of those in this field of pursuit?

Casually I injected the word “user” while giving you a glimpse of C.W.’s life.  Well, retain that word because I don’t want ‘cha to get it confused with “abuser”.  C.W. like anyone who is deep into what they do know that there are fundamental standards required in order for their involvement to be a success.  Hummm, if this is the case, so must these Cougars of today know this, wouldn’t you think?  Or are these women merely of ill-repute requiring the same labeling as their male counterparts?

A woman from Biblical times (Mary Magdalene) attracted Jesus.  She was considered a ‘lil too promiscuous also, but…  Again, those who pointed fingers weren’t really on the conscious level of J.C., or even close to his divinity.  Alright, consider this; how could these people even begin to identify, classify and vilify?  I definitely got this on so stick with me.  They assumed someone had bestowed the power on them!

Most of the women engaged in cougaristic lifestyles are, “coincidently as reported”, older that  the males they pursue.  Definitely more secure financially than the males they’ve allow into their reality.  Assuredly much much more mature emotionally than their counterparts who again, are males, but…  Factor in that word “cubs” apply it in a traditional sense while pushing it in todays sense and; it will suggest incestuous relationships.  Hey, Cougars define themselves and in doing so seek Cubs mainly for sexual liaisons, but.  I won’t even go there.  This is what they say.  I’m just pointing something out.

Basically what this identifies is within todays society everything is way too convenient and always justified through generalizations.  Zel wasn’t about abusing anyone.  Compensated for his time?  Without a doubt.  Paid in full and Zel was always on time for the woman whose husband forgot the simple little things that originally gave them comfort.  Things like emotional support, physical attention, all aspects of a relationship that ushers in psychological stability.  But Zel won’t get a pass.  Society said he was a bastard.  As for C.W., he attracted a woman of his choice.  got with her based on his needs, plus another aspect of this scenario that always manages to get side-stepped.  They were consenting adults.  Two people who equally benefited from their decisions.

Okay all said, let’s allow for a bit of caution so that you don’t get any of this twisted.  Many of those engaged in Cougarism don’t  have a clue as to the social dynamics of what has been outlined here.  Bottomline, they are women who…  For whatever reasons, aborted mission, ejected while stepping into another cycle of life that gives them solace.  At what price?  Are they Cougars because this is what they are or are they Cougars as a way of “sexing down” someone more extreme on the sexual dial than those they are accustom to?  Are Cougars attempting to re-live that childhood fantasy when they dressed their dolls in the fashions they so choose?  Cougars dress Cubs.  (note; this is one of prerequisite for actual participation in Cougarism)

One of my detractors, and I really don’t mean that frivolously, has gone to lengths in defining commentary as opposed to reporting.  This is, for my benefit.  I guess this is because somewhere it was collectively assumed when anyone speaks or writes with such powerful content of passion they infuse what is shared with a marked sense of emotions; such as I!  Yet there is a another school of though on this.  When you seek anything in-depth the best way to acquire real Intel is to seek out someone who has stepped with passion towards what it is they do.  Sorta’ like if you sought out a surgeon.  Would you want to go into laser surgery with a doctor who just got into the use of lasers because of the increase in pay, or.  Have a surgeon who applied skills with advanced knowledge, techniques and un-heard of intelligences because that is the best way for achieving positive results?

Cougars, the female heroine in this suburban socially arousing activities doesn’t frighten me.  They don’t even intrigue.  What does is Western Society and their penchant to classify while attempting to isolate and qualify something that they really don’t know about.  It is this sector of people who you need to “suspect”. Un-like the nuevo-status assigned to Cougars, there is no transparency to any of this.  Still, I can see and you can too.  People who condemn usually are living a life of pretend.  They want what others have but haven’t the “heart” to go for it.  Especially if that want is out of the norm.

Men who are aware of who they are in relations to how society is would be lying if they said they weren’t ever on the hunt.  This is a basic characteristic of human nature.  Society says that people have evolved to the point of being progressive and hunting is an ancient aspect of our culture.   B.S. !  Women hunt, men hunt, and it has nothing to do with semantics.  There is nothing phenomenal hunting or the useage of the word.  Men who seek out younger women for any sort of engagement are, “Dirty ‘Ol Bas’teurds”.  Cougars on the hunt or out on the prowl will not ever be of this perception because it connotes deficiency on one capacity or the other.  Men will not allow this because, she is his “woman”.  And don’t assume males are cool with cougaristic activities either.  If they were, Viagra wouldn’t be so popular.  The male is trying to stay in The Game.

As for seeking another sex for sex, well…  I’m not saying that “taking childin'”, (reads children) is mutually gratifying to either party involved.  Child signifies immaturity, sex with an immature person doesn’t equate into any sort of pleasurable thang unless you are a beast.  Cougar, Dirty ‘Ol Bas’teurd, sex is a major part of the both sides of that life.  With any stark difference in maturity, predation comes into it.  But again, this is being “dialed down” because it is “woman”.

Another practice of the Cougar is dress.  Subjective at best.  The truth depends on who is providing the descriptive narrative.  Most media reviews provide graphics of  these women in provocative attire.  The “twins” aggressively displayed.  make-up on the theatrical side.  There is a way to dress sexy yet remain, classy.  I think most of the women pursing Cougarism knows that class evades ’em.

Most places I’ve been in America there is this sense of skepticism.  Glance into the eyes of those you encounter.  Lock into your surroundings and you’ll sense the vibe too.  Despair reins but my take is, this isn’t suffrage.  It is a longing for the return to happier times which is why everyone looks at days gone as the better times.  Maybe this is a result of society and its desire for instantaneous everything.  Western Society is at a loss when it comes to civility, Cougars and their motivations included.  It’s okay to “blast out of the closet” declare “I am Cougar”, just know that your roar will be heard and the response may not be what ‘cha expect.

Is this Cougar the result of a mid-life crisis?  I’m not medical so I won’t put myself out there like that.  Female seeking LTR?  Possibly, but given the vast numbers who’ve stepped to me representing this platform reserved for Cougars, I’ve obtained some remarkable insights.  One is many a Cougar is engaged in “Sanatized-B.S.”.  Independently, individually, doesn’t matter.  Remove them from the collective and they don’t know shit.  I say this because when a person attempts to qualify what is coming out of their mouth by stating the results of a study that hasn’t taken into account the variables defined by the X factors, well.  That person is saying they have no insight into the quality control applications needed to guarantee all things factual onto them!

Psssss; When you see a Bentley cruising down the street you know it’s a Bentley way before it arrives.  When you see anything mass-produced coming your way you grin while recognizing something; manufactured.  It’s arrival is media driven.  “Cougar anyone.”  One last thing, I’m in no way leaving this Cougar matter to what has been defined.  Presenting my Cougars of choice, Catalina, by way of Paris.  Bao-Yu (means precious jade) direct from Hong Kong.  Ms. Devore a real West Coast Cougar.  They’ve consented and  I’ll do ’em in print.