Archive for Cougarism

Swim In My Lake

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , , on December 13, 2010 by ichas8440

Usually it’s not my pleasure to follow-up one piece immediately with another.  Motives; let’s say what I serve is better with marination.  Imagine our national treasure the Grand Canyon.  Some fly over, glance outta the small port window while saying, “Oh, that’s lovely, now let’s go”.  Others drive to the G.C., jump out, hustle to the along the man-made barriers while cautiously stepping so as not to get too close to the rim, turn and say they’ve seen it.  This is followed by an audible expression such as “great”, which only confirms the exasperated feelings deep within.  Are you feeling where I’m comin’ from?  Life is meant to be felt as you embrace the realities allowing this indescribable subtle vibe warms you over like a tasty cookie.  Now you tell me, how do you enjoy without consideration followed by thought of what you’ve witnessed?

The Set-Up

Remember the story of 101 Dalmatians?  That Disney picture about those spotted dogs.  One character needs to be brought front and center in this expose’ I’m presenting.  She is none other than Cruella  De Vil.  Selfish, yes, but…  Delightful in her ability to focus on her desires, while being oblivious of others.  Cruella added much to the flick by providing a depth that wasn’t achievable through all the other characters performances.

Well get with this, Cruella didn’t have a thang’ on Ms. Geneva DeVore the predetermined Cougar ending the installments attached to “Cougar Me”.  G.D is totally self-absorbed.  Actually she’s deserving of this obsession?  Geneva is the classic example of an ugly Duckling that went on to find out she wasn’t duck at all, but a Swan lost amongst a sea of bad situations.  Once her transformation was complete, “Swan” aka Ms. DeVore decided to go rogue.  Separating from those of the reservation while creating havoc for all the un-sophisticated Cubs who walked into her web.

As for physical attributes, she was graciously appointed.  If you were to see her you’d say she was all that and a bag of chips.  Personally, I just don’t take my chips with such a huge helping of “dip” if you understand.  Her choice of condiment could have only been associated with the wonderful creation requiring avocados.  A ‘lil peeling, some mashing, a few dabs of spice and everything is right.  Not where Geneva is concerned.  No one ever told her guacamole is best served immediately and when left out too long, it’s just plain nasty.

Our interview started off with a request from her, inviting me over to her home as a starting point for our discussions on Cougarism.  No no no, this wasn’t for me, another’s domain, under these circumstances.  This is a recipe that can easily turn naughty, but…  Being the man I am, I agreed.  Wrong move!  She owned these ‘lil Terriers that had complete run of the house.  Little cuties that deposited stanky stuff everywhere they squatted.  Oh, Geneva, it didn’t appear to matter to her.  Despite of the tainted air, she offered coffee.  Once she served me, I thought about sippin’ on the hot beverage seeing that it was a cold day.  But…  Based on the condition of her home, I couldn’t do it.  Knowing where she came from, that ugly duckling situation and all, I tried to look past what I felt was a big negative, while saying to myself, she didn’t deserve any harsh treatment.  But.

Okay, maybe some of you are saying, “No no, you can’t be that judgmental”.  Then there are those of you springing from the camp whose feeling go along these lines.  “Maybe she didn’t want you there in the first place so she made it deplorable by choice.” Alright, I got something for both camps, let’s say your significant other deletes the air you breathe with one of those “silent but deadly ones”. I guess you all say it was perfectly justifiable too!

Okay truth; this is my piece and I do it my way.  It’s always best to satisfy self before you even attempt to please others.  I said I was gonna do a three-some and I always keep my word.  Geneva is an ‘itch!  Certified and bona-fied.  You want her, I’ve got her.  So without further delay, here’s the ‘itch.

Geneva DeVore

Hey lady, I really don’t like you and you know it.  “Something about me intrigues you so you’re here.  Agree on that?” Alright.  Why are you a Cougar?  “I could say because I have a kitty, but then you’d probably say I was being crude.” Nope, maybe crusty but crude, not hardly?  Crude connotes the possibility of refinement.  Polished-up so to speak.  “Do you like my toe-nail color,  I love the  way it reflects my eyes.” That’s why I’m here, you don’t trip no matter what is said.  Like when we first exchanged glances.  I told ‘ya with my eyes, I wasn’t the one.  Still you didn’t take it personal.  I liked that.  “Personal…  Darling, the boy-toys are gonna come for me regardless of what you saw in me at that time.”

Geneva does intrigue, and how she lived was something I wouldn’t allow to be a negative factor in what I sought from her.  The key to life is not to allow anything which doesn’t conform to your standards keep you from enhancing you.  If she, meaning Geneva was typical, she wouldn’t be adding anything to my piece.  Our personalities weren’t alike but she had her attractions.  In my eyes we were two positive individuals who didn’t necessarily want the attention associated with the bright lights germane to success.   In this case it was the opposites which attracted, making for an appealing contrast, so what if I didn’t approve of her living conditions.  We could always exit her personal domain, which we eventually did.

Once within the light of the sun, it dancing upon her, she seemed to stumble emotionally.  Her comfort level was evaporating.  Not a person with pale skin so I couldn’t say her reaction was  medically related.  There was a marked aversion to daylight, but one based on an inhibition.  This was further observed as we walked into the café.  At the door she hesitated as if almost reluctant to engage the scene.  Standoffish I would say.  To dispel this attitude I extended my hand as if guiding her to our seats.  This changed the social dynamic and she accepted with a smile.  At the table she immediately picked up a piece of the silverware.  As if it was something exotic, she ran her fingers over the etching inscribed.  This was another ploy, one used to allow her to avoid the eye contact with those seated around us.  Oh, I wasn’t invading her consciousness.  Remember, this is what I do.

If someone else would have been witnessed to this, they’d assume nothing.  But the someone else’s aren’t me.  I took a sip of my water, diverted my eyes, fully knowing that here was a woman who commanded the attention of numerous male suitors, but.  She was a woman who was locked in battle about her past.  Memories that she wouldn’t let go of.  The thoughts that come with the loneliness of being alone gripped her and I knew that it was now for me to reach out and touch.  Assist her in rising from this dismal image she held of herself.  Understanding that fear is in all of us, and having to deal with that same fear many times in my own past, I engaged.

Outside of her home and not running the show she was acting as if cornered by a Pit-Bull.  I represented the Pit and she didn’t fear me as much as what I conjured up within her mind.  Fear does that.  It isn’t the fear of what you are facing as much as it is the fear of what may be attached to the circumstances or situation.  Call it the environmental impact thing, doesn’t change a thing.  Society gets into our minds and has a way of ‘ucking up everything.  Geneva had issues, it was obvious.  Everybody has issues.

Cougarism wasn’t a step at all for her.   She simply reversed the social dynamic once she knew she was that lovely Swan.  What was creating this issue was her thoughts as to what I wanted from her.  Being in public and not doing what she knew how to do.  She needed to return to being the swan.

My next words were to simply state her name, DeVore.  Hearing her name, she snapped out of it and responded.  “Hey you, do you lets order something?” Not wanting to get away from where I was headed, I came back with’ Maybe I’ll order you?  That did it and she bit.  “Darling lets keep this on business.” Yes, she said it but by the way she was peeking over the menu I knew she wanted the attention and if I refused, she’d withdraw even tighter.

“Staying in the pocket” so to speak, I said.  Hold up, did you think I was saying I wanted you in a sexual sense?  “No, now how could I get that out of what you said Darling?  If anything, we will eat, talk and afterwards, I’ll take you back to my home and…” And what DeVore?  Now she was feeling it, I had hit the right button.  Revealing in the power that all women hold, she opened up and…

Girl I’m here for you.  Not to question you then quickly condemn, but…  Talk to me.  Let’s shed some of the real on this Cougarism thing, okay.  “I like the way you move so casually, as if this is just another interview.  You are full of yourself aren’t cha?” Yes, yes I am.  But who isn’t?  “Alright, I can go with this.” Can you DeVore?  If you can tell me what I want to know.

Pausing for a moment because the waitress was trying to ear hustle, (listen to our conversation).  Smiling politely she got the hint and moved off quickly.  We continued.

DeVore are you happy with being identified as a Cougar?  “Doesn’t bother me a bit.” Oh so you’re cool with the images society paints you as?  “Darling after all those years of working behind a perfume counter, coming home to an empty house, thinking about how the women acted like my only desire was to serve them.  Ms. DeVore give me this, Geneva give me that, grabbing at ever sample sitting on the counter tops like little starving thieves.  Then, get this, hand me a couple of dollars telling me to have lunch on them while making it perfectly obvious that they were handing me a couple of dollars.  Dollars they waved around so their friends could see.  I can’t say my impression is any worse than those who’ve coined the term Cougar.”

Now we were rollin’.  She was out and making it all happen, The Cougar known as Ms. Geneva DeVore had turned the corner with me.

What are your views on this phenom known as Cougarism.  “Hype, all hype.  The economy is in the toilet.  Society is all caught up, what is it you say; tripping.  That empty house I told you about.  Remember?  It wasn’t empty, I’m married, or was.  He took me for granted and now I’m taking what is granted to me.  It’s funny how women miss who they are until they accept who they were, ya know.”

This wasn’t a question but a statement of fact.  Geneva was another very conscious person.  She wasn’t the stupid ass ‘itch I mentioned, blindly following a trend.  When we spoke on the inner conditions of the life she lived…  Well get with this.  DeVore, do you do the cruises designed for Cougars.  “Darling I don’t need a place to party.  Those Cruise-liners are following the dollars.  Everybody is chasing the same dollar, economic times.  Remember, I was in retail.  Perfume sales, retail okay.  These cruises are sponsoring these Cougar trips.  They say it’s just a small percentage of their space used, but…  Disney is even in it, just check on it when you get  a chance.”

The Intel flowed and it was apparent she wasn’t bitter as most would believe.  She was doin’ her.  Hubby was the fool in this script.  Assumed he had rescued the ugly duckling, provided her with a home.  One where he served himself after she spent the day at the factor a la retail counter.  Mother Nature was doing what Mother Nature did and he knew in order to keep doin’ him, he’d have to find a way to preserve her.  With this in mind he hurriedly signed her up at the local gym.  The P.T. (Personal Trainer), once up on that body, recognized the potential within, toned her up and…  The rest as they say; is history.

Geneva DeVore isn’t the typical Cougar.  None of those I’ve spoken with in order to complete my quest are typical anything.  I cannot do conventional.  When you want to know about something you’ve gotta find those who actually provide the substance that holds that something together.  She broke down societies take on Cougarism, just like those I engaged before her were able to point out.  Cougar.  Women setting themselves up for the attraction of younger men,  nothing new.  Women have been doing this for centuries.  Each and every one of ‘em has their own reasons for engaging.  Life is like that.  One day a duck who can only quack, the next day; Swan.

DeVore doesn’t drive a Bentley.  She doesn’t have a house in the hills.  She lives at 7734 AnyBodies Lane, located in Universal Everywhere.  The spot we initially met in, an apartment where kids can be heard playing in the green belts behind the units.  Plus, she still has her home with hubby.  On top of all this she can be found strolling along the boardwalk of Venice Beach.  She can also be seen along the Canal Shops in Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.  Is she a bad person?  Who’s bad?  She has risen above the nastiness that is perpetrated by those who call themselves pillars of the community.  She could be you mother.  FYI, don’t trip as you wouldn’t even know if Moms was living this sort of life, this is merely a statement for the conclusion.

Psssss; Giving or taking, you shouldn’t say what you wouldn’t do especially when you aren’t aware of all the circumstances you may or may not have to deal with.  What  you should know while understanding yourself is this.  Communications begins with the self.  Talk to you, recognize you, it’s okay, you’re not crazy.  Like I mentioned, I satisfy me first.  When one doesn’t know self, how in the hell can one step to and attempt to please another!

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