Archive for consciousness


Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , on May 15, 2016 by ichas8440


Imaging cruising onto an Internet link. Contemplate picking up a magazine and studying the cover and as you’re doing this mental images of you dances in your head. But… Now your awareness kicks in, you see yourself being your self but consciously knowing nothing within any of these mediums reflects you.  My thoughts; Whoa…

Somebody who looks like me saw me with at least three who didn’t look like us. That in itself shouldn’t have started a fuss but. Narrow-mindedness is a breeding corridor designed to galvanize ignorance. Time passed “she” being true to her code erupted. Verbal abuse launched with the physical assault demanding like time, but… She/I in two different time-zones therefore that attack had to wait, still. I knew she was… Confused, conflicted as most are about their identity.

The bombardment didn’t cease, within the span of milliseconds 14 text notifications appeared on my cell then silence. I waited. The cryptic barrage of messaging via today’s preferred comm-links always utilized by by those emotionally challenged began again. I read.

Decades back it was a peer of mine also in pursuit of education. She/I while sitting in class locked eyes but immediately deflected from our real intent. Disguising our desires within a mutual extension to get-together later off campus for what we agreed would be a study session. Her domain with Moms and Pops doin’ what they do after working outside the house all day. She leads, I follow as we slip quietly past the two headed to the outdoors patio silhouetted in a mood setting light.

Young and intimately dumb I still knew Nancy walked in a woman’s body. If she had been monitored on a Richter scale for displacement of psychological and emotional continuity 10 wouldn’t have been enough to describe or contain the magnitude of her powers.

We all come from a Tribe. Historical to the traditional the standards of who and what we are hasn’t changed in regards to what we do. Nancy pushed that to “Front and Center” that evening in the confines of her backyard. Yes she exposed The Twins, set ’em out so I would touch as we both felt the passion pushing us to take it to the next step but… Initial orientation compliments of “The Tribe” she belonged to in regard to who she was ‘pose to be kept flashing in the recesses of her mind. She didn’t wanna cross that threshold. Me… I pushed and she submitted but deep in my mind I knew tomorrow would come also. How would we be able to maintain knowin’ we violated He/She whom we came from? Sooooo, without further words we knew not to venture too far from, Our Tribe.

The text mentioned came from someone who reflected the physical features of my Tribe but. We were from different locales existing in a region only connected on a historical trade route servicing all Tribes.

When anything is anticipated failure usually follows. In knowing the standards of your Tribe conformity is just an impression. Since the beginning of time He/She has pushed the boundaries set in place to maintain the power and place of every Tribe.  Those who lead always ventured forth and conquered. Those who followed partook in the “explorations” brought on by inspiration of The Heart as well. With a Twist. Providing they remained conscious of the penalty coming forth if that confidentiality was breached. Tribe, Tribalism, one in the same.

To move something forward and definitely when the “sum” is to be advances you’ve gotta take the best from all sources. Today’s  “YoungStars” refer to themselves as One Nation of Universal Beings and still; Money talks making Bullshit walk. Don’t understand? Allow me.

One Nation ’til the money is made, then… Tribalism trumps. What was still is and the differences based on the color of skin returns with a vengeance. Proof, just look around. Nobody wants anybody who resembles them to be intimate with someone who doesn’t reflect the same bio-pool of visual interpretation either comes from. Proof, She who looks like Me who saw pics of me with three with none resembling either her or me. Nancy who wanted to go and not just for the opportunity to explore while experiencing the passion driving us towards our intended success but… Because she knew nothin’ would ever be the same.

I stop, look and listen to all who step my way. Prejudices are everywhere with everybody denying their existence. Me, “IDGAF”. Man, kind, has a 1st priority which is to satisfy the “Me”. Without this prime directive there will not ever be the “We”. Narrow-minded Folk always wanna say, “It’s not the color but why have you chosen them and not me”.

Real Talk; those who uphold this accord are full of s**t. They talk loud and still haven’t said nothin’. Unity with regard to He/She isn’t about the money it’s about those who make up the relationship and “you” being on the outside wanting in don’t possess the sense or ability to have it like that.

Real Talk; don’t hate, understand the dynamics when you really wanna create. Most don’t give ‘ah F**K about another’s fat azz when the two encounter. Soooo, stop coverin’ your stomach whenever approaching another and just converse. Nor do many care about He/She comin’ their way while professin’ not to wanna be like some other but… Forever reflect the physical images of those they claim not to wanna look or be like. What anybody worth their weight in gold seeks is havin’ somebody who brings it. What is “It”? Truth being Told.

Psssss; “Narrative’? And I own it! Things happen because one group assumes social dominance over another and basically dictate what will be public opinion. The things is I don’t give up intellectual superiority just because others happen to have attained economical success. Hummm, you definitely understand the acronym “IDGAF” now don’t cha.


On One…

Posted in Communications, psychology, Relationships with tags on July 1, 2014 by ichas8440 the mist of crisis, approaching; chaos. A challenge came.  Strike that, a confrontation as I was accused of thinking I knew way more than the next person.  Un-fluttered by this intrusion I listened as a story unfolded about how the Ex. ruled this Dreamers dream.  Deep in his dream, living large conquering his world then.  Unannounced, not remotely associated with this part of the script she’d appear.  Sex down the Dreamer even if sex wasn’t in the equation, then.  Still conscious of being in “dream state” she’d slip outta the bed almost as if a vapor.  He’d see her, standing by the open window dialing 911 and watch as he’d be arrested for some trumped-up charged she’d concocted.  Once said this Dreamer visibly shaken, stepped back, tears running hard as he asked, “What can I do, she’s got her hooks in me”.

I should have told him to take 2 aspirin and call me in the morning, but.  I asked how often do these types of conditions occur during his dream state.  Quickly he said, every time something is going right she shows up and reminds me how wrong my impressions of what I thought I was gonna be, are.  With that expressed there was no further need for eval..  The Dreamer had given up his dignity and she accepted it with honor.  Many times a substitution is made and what comes in to provide a moment for relief isn’t always…  Re-livable. Ex’s have a way of sub-consciously slipin’ in where One thinks they should have the win.  This happens because way too much power has been assigned to the dynamics of the pleasure principle One assumed the Ex. brought to the table.

Remedy; Don’t talk about vanquishing the world in which you once lived and died by the Ex.’s’ presence within your life; do it.  And while you do don’t even assume you can visit the possibilities of a bi-dimensional reality in the hopes of re-mapping your actual reality, cause.  It ain’t happening.

Speaking of dual realities and the psycho-emotional impacts they hold all living beings to, get with this concept.  We hear about the conceptual possibilities of another world existing right next to our actual physical world, ‘cept.  We just can’t see or directly connect with these worlds.  Well, some can and those who have agree on this reality.  If you’re gettin’ your butt kicked in one dimension, best believe it’s happening across the galaxy because.  Change isn’t gonna come until you realistically decide that you’ve had enough and break the so-called “chain”.

How can he get all this when in the mist of crisis?”

Whoever said I was the One in the mist of crisis!

Descending the mountains, returning from my sabbatical and into the madness known as society I knew I had to pay the Mafioso Boss a visit.  Oh yes, remember?  All I deliver is connected, plus  when One can be located knowin’ the GPS was shut down way way back and no other living Soul was made privy to my whereabouts nothing in my world is no longer sacred.  Not even “My Blanket”.

Tony found, the meet and greet commenced.  Topic of convo, same as before.  ‘Cept, Wifey had advanced in age and; interest.  We made quick time of our time and arrived at the points in which brought us to this second coming.  Oh yes, despite being in his home initially, awaiting his Wifey to partake in lunch with Yours Truly, and…  Extending frivolous explanations as to why I was there, only to be given a pass guaranteeing the continuation of my physical life…  Not much had verbally been exchanged.  Tony knew of me but had no further understanding of Wifey’s motivations bringing Yours Truly into his world.

Today, Wifey was still the woman residing on the arm, living inside the home of a true live Mafioso, she was forever on the prowl.  Object of desire now.  She flipped completely, no longer was she seeking the touch of a man, she wanted woman.  Tony talked, and I imagined what becomes when One has; everything.  History came to mind.  Various past cultures and with these visions came; Clarity.  I explained to the guy who could have snatched my breath away years ago, “Chalk It Up To The Game”.  He pondered this revelation for a moment, smiled and said. “O blod de O blod da, sounds like some Beatles tune. Mulies have all these clever sayings, some make sense. You, not a Mullie but still, clever. On this Game thing, you’re right. Don’t hate the game, hate the player, hunnn!”  He found solace and…  I did too.  I wasn’t sought to be told in some cryptic way I could be reached no matter where I was, but.

Liked minded people attract.  Tony had always wanted to know why the Wifey would risk all she had acquired, all they had built/established for a “quicky” with me, yet.  Business trumped all and he let the beat go on without pausing to listen to what I’ve learned to be the rhythm within life.  Back at that time I didn’t really listen either and could care less what her motivations where but. As said previously, like-minded people attract, this is an extension of those days and attractions.  We were three people going through our defined cycles.  As for now, this new interest in same sex, whoa. Could explain but… I’ll leave it to resourceful minds and; history.

2 am on the streets again.  Beverly Hills, window shopping.  Car pulls up, voices ring out, “You’d better check yourself before you wreck yourself”.  European Americans fantasizing.  To a degree they were right, I didn’t fit the racial profile of One assumed to make up the commercial or residents comprising Beverly Hills, but.

Leaving one street winding onto another, I continued my looking.  Many of the shops changed names.  As for those who understood their place, they remained the same.  Full circle, Wilshire Boulevard and there was the car that held the passengers who…  I guess had thought they were giving me advice.  BHPD had ‘em all stretched out on the sidewalk, face down, hands locked behind their heads, fingers laced.  I saw them all, heads cocked, necks rotating, all to get a look at me.  I kept doin’ what I did and in that split second, I believe it donned on ‘em all.  “Beverly Hills, like any place else, it’s all about the attitude. Present yourself knowing you belong and you will… Belong.”

What…”  Okay, for those who ain’t knowin’ and couldn’t even break outta a wet paper back, I’ll dial it down for you.  Art doesn’t imitate life, life reflects The Arts created by man and kind in the never-ending story to leave a legacy known as…  Life.  What you did yesterday may not be explainable today or even later in the days, what’s important is.

Psssss; Much Luv to all of you who have the insight to follow what I present.  It’s you all who provide the motivation required so that I can think, grow and become spiritually richer.  Many have ”Been There” but we will not know who’s actually ‘Done That” unless.  We have “Exchange Cards”.  Tony is a Mafioso.  What he’s not is a three-headed monster who’s heads are being pulled in various directions because of one brain trying to control it all.  That’s media hype.  The Boyz extending advice in Beverly Hills…  Well hopefully they had the money to bail out of jail because they had no intentions of heeding their own advice.  Emulation, assimilation can be a Bitch.  The Dreamer and his, they have a long way to go before they arrive.  Why?  Because way too many think they know something and when you stop, look and listen, it’s soon apparent.  They like many have sight, but lack; insight.


Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , on March 22, 2014 by ichas8440


Compress the lips while reaching down deep so the reverberation of the voice will hum as the word rolls off the tongue that lays on the bottom of your mouth but…  Giggles ever so slightly when it rises and tucks back into the throat then suddenly unfolds forward allowing the “L’s” to slip out of the now circular shaped lips erupting as “Biiilll” is pronounced.

Acupuncturist, Restaurateur serving it up in the world-class city (The Bay) no less!  Quasi associate who intended to become “friend” once he concluded worthiness.  A Chinese Nationalist who had skills in the massage area I could only identify as extraordinary because he was…  That talented.

It started as a casual thing, tight legs, sore shoulders causing thighs to cramp and all, you know.  Then Biiilll offered to intercede and I accepted.  After the nightly cleansing of the Bod, towel wrapped securely so not to expose too much too quickly, she slipped slowly into position.  Biiilll, gently settled alongside and began with her feet.  I noticed her ears sorta twitch and when her eyebrows did a ‘lil dippy thing I knew…  Biiilll was way beyond a mere mortal masseuse.  He had her hummin’ and swerving ’til I consider, (if only for a moment) should I be next, but.  Biiilll, in his world, suggestion I lay down next to her and “silently” await my turn.

This simply relaxing activity was to be but a brief interlude, then…  “Morphification” had other ideas and the semi carnal delights took us into weeks.  11:47 p.m. each and every night he appeared, more excited than the previous nights.  I…  Watched from the advantages of my easy chair, Biiilll…  When manipulating the inner thighs moved closer and closer to the still hooded Golden Tush, but…  Didn’t invade, rush in or otherwise.  When he stood up it was obvious based on a visual perspective, arousal had occurred.

Many would assume much from the defined activities inclusive of Biiilll, her and Yours Truly.  What you all will be missing is one fact.  I don’t miss a ‘thang.  In life we aren’t prepared in a formal sense with regard to the chemical compulsions that will ultimately propel us into activities we aren’t ready for or capable of managing.  Biiilll, being professionally skilled knew this.  What he failed to factor in was…

Biiilll and I engaged, “Kickin’ Knowledge” constantly.  He’d put a card out there and I’d examine it, pick it up and drop another just as potent as his.  These talks revolved around the whys and what fors regarding the motivations of man and kind.  He shared with me the reasons behind why he even engaged me to the point he had.  It had all been based on a culture thing.  In his country FOLK, their education is defined by the manner in which they speak.  Good ‘cept for one thing; speech isn’t just the usage of words it is the forethought applied to the depth of how those words will communicate and translate thoughts, intention to others.

Biiilll and I shared a bowl of Egg Flower Soup.  I knew of his culinary skills way before I sat down in his restaurant.  Pre Palate awareness wasn’t about to keep me from enjoying the food of his nation, just as his hidden lust wasn’t about to cause me to wanna allow him to “dive” deep once he defused the inhibitions of the one I allowed him to…  Massage.  I share this because there are so many deviant things goin’ on in this world and if you don’t know yourself, you haven’t a chance when engaged by someone who is certified, knows exactly how to unlock your doors in a manner of speaking.  Biiilll, Sly, Slick & Wicked.  Licensed to practice by those who really don’t have a clue of what he’s actually practicing.  There are a lot of Biiilll out there, but…  I luv my Biiilll because…  Don’t trip, keep livin’, givin’, sharin’ and carin’ and you’ll eventually be able to tell friend from foe.

Psssss; Short piece and fully loaded.  I suggest you don’t try this immediately or alone as the result may not deliver the novice to a place easily able to come back from.  Biiilll, I’ve wanted to…  “Kill Biiilll” once I became aware of his full capabilities once on complete display but then.  I settled in and… Watched, absorbed like you wouldn’t understand.  But…  Possibly you do.

It’s Just A Fantasy

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , on September 17, 2012 by ichas8440


























You ask why I make communications between He and She sound so smooth.  Excuse me, my piece so yes, I am guilty of injecting my interpretation of your word.  Creative insight, ya know.  This should state, “easy” in place of smooth.  Still, allow me to give you my views to this obvious yet obscure reality to most.  Simply put, it’s perception.

A masquerader approached under the guise of…  Let’s say, spiritually motivate which couldn’t have been further from the truth, but hey.  Who am I to pass judgment.  Credentials, all over The Net.  Professional associations, member of all those alphabet groups.     Regardless of  the paper trails, I knew.

Accepting the transparent veil of deception I got “knee deep” in it with this…  Excuse me X 2, I almost verbally framed something which would have dropped me further into the depths of where this interaction morphed.  Just know, over the small course of time we engaged, the demons, in their quest for establish supremacy tore through this person’s disguise and…  Surprised, please.  Remember, micro expression.  Read ’em like a prospector decipher the lay of the land.

My motivations for “stickin’ & stayin’” with this Albatross.  Insight into the mental capabilities of such a deviant.  I’ve always been amazed by one who creates emotional drama, slides to the side when the carnage rains.  And, finds comfort while pointing the finger at others for what is.  As a moth to a flame you can say.

This episode, I knew was gonna be a bumpy one, I mean. Starting with loaded demands for my attention.  Constant suggestions sighting we engage in positions of physicality.  All was there.  Offers to be together with obvious full blown sexual overtones.  None of which matter, because.  As the marauder always said.  “We are just friends slash professional partners who will change the world“.  Right, and I just slipped off the banana boat seen drifting just off the horizon.

Relationships.  Professional, friend based because of some hidden need for social involvement.  Fam. founded as a result of shared parentage, whatever the cause for the connection if and when you engage there are some realities that persist.

I hear it all the time a person’s reality is based on their perception.  Change the perception, alter the reality.  My response, “Save The Drama For Your Momma“.  Oh yes, a colloquisms from past days of rushing towards adulthood yet, as powerful today as…  When I first heard the phrase and it still pays.  Perception is based on one’s orientation.  Something acquired during those early childhood learning curves.  Handed down by those around.  Hence, parental guidance and influence.  Real Talk, some parental advice was “ass backwards” from the gate.  This accounts for all the…  Just continue.

It was during this slip into stupidity between “she and me” that I took a moment to breath, realizing what was before me or…  In our case, laying with her head on my stomach, you get what ‘cha sign up for in a relationship.

Many times I’ve mentioned that everyone has a role of which.  Many so caught up in denial as to who they are, act as if this simple understanding of how life goes, doesn’t apply.  Guess what, it does and no matter who you are, you have a role, one of which will always be defined!

Hold up, a 911 just came in.  Close friend, extremely close just…  Re-appeared.  Cause of connection.  His female cohabitant in her quest to dominate, finally discovered the point of which.  He’d physically erupt.  The situation, taunting, continuous and with venom.  As he refused her, denying her worthless bait, she did what “she do”.  Reared back like one does if gonna skip a rock across a beautiful lake, and…  Socked him in the face.  What was she thinking?

For every action there will be a re-action but in this situation she was dealing with a recluse but still qualified Assassin.  Luckily for her at this time he wasn’t in full assassin mode and merely acted rather than re-acted.  The smack delivered, he did what he does short of taking her out.  Results.  One black eye with a slight concussion.  My friend…  In temporary stealth mode, backed off, remained silent as he watched.  She, still in her reactive mode, cried and all the while.  Smiled with this eerie look indicative of pleasure, saying.  “You finally did it  I knew I’d get ‘cha.  Manned upped and stop letting me talk any ol way to you.   You hit me and I luv it“.

After the fact, she decided to best preserve her position by calling in an air strike, only to have the Po Po arrive by land, guns drawn.  Even at this juncture she refused to come outta character, telling the officers she was to blame.  She finally made him be a man.  The police, looked at her with bewilderment quickly surmised, “this woman had been smokin’ some serious narcotics and in view of the size of the man she just socked, they  didn’t sign up for this“.  Hence,  departed but…  Not before advising my friend to get outta the house.  Vacate the neighborhood and run.  Run as quickly as he could!

Oh yeah, everybody has a role and my friend didn’t sign up to have a woman be so twisted ’til she wanted to assume the role of beast!  It’s a good thing he is very wise cause when he made mention of the fact if his “connivin’ ass, deranged woman” had been a man she’d qualify as an abuser.  Of which, he knew a woman can be as abusive as any man.  “WTF is this“.  Where are couples reducing themselves too?

Dippin’ deeper into this he made mention of intending to seek counseling for the two of ’em.  Wifey, not one to miss such an opp. hit him harder than his significant other ever could.  Psychologically that is.  Accomplished when she defined the motivations leading to change which.  His woman had no intensions of participating in because.  Based on the tools already made available to her, she’d proven time and time again.  She may alter her demeanor but.  She was “that type of woman“.  What extended my smile and admiration of her was when Wifey continued to “shed light his way“.  Advising him about FOLK and their motivations.  And think, everyone whose had the pleasure of meeting Wifey assumed she was just spoiled and happy to just be with me.  My friend even said he was surprised of the depth of her consciousness but…  “She’s up under you so I can’t expect anything other than a supreme, confident womanI know you ain’t about to have some ignorant asinine, dummy layin’ around you, ever.  Comrade.”

Triggers.  I spoke on ’em many times before but most haven’t maintained their importance in this Inner Actions process between He and She.  The masquerader beginning this piece tried to make me believe she had no interest in engaging in anything other than…  Business where we were concerned.  Okay, I’m fine with this, just…  If a woman gets butt naked in the presence of a man the moment she lays eyes on him, what is this saying revolves within the mind of such a person.  Also, naw, ‘uck that.  tramp in disguise, straight up!

Oh, you say it could have been just her way of lounging around.  Good B.S. just…  I’m not naive to believe such hype.  Next.  Maybe, maybe this was an alcohol induced response.  Alright, you were the one who’d wired the suite prior to my arrival cause she was consuming way too much wine before I walked in if the empty bottles were any indication, but…  You’d still be wrong.  Triggers like those lessons from way back when, go off when one is confused about their place and position within the natural order of things making up their lives.  Knowing who you are, accepting what you’re made of allows for the enhancement of self.  All that other stuff is.  “Fluff“.  Filler that fills just to take up empty space.

Another Cat I know found himself in a social caldron way too close for any other to comment on, but he asked me for an opinion.  I felt honored and gave him what he wanted of which he said.  “Man miss me with the fluff, you and all these adjectives.  I’m a man give it to me straight up.”  I obliged.  Silence replaced our normally charged conversations and he.  Didn’t argue, say I didn’t know what I was talking about cause I wasn’t privy to what was goin’ on in his life.  He accepted every word I offered.  This to me was the sign of one with a higher consciousness.  Drowning in something he created but still focused enough to accept that any resolve had to begin from outside, and.  Through someone’s eyes who wasn’t just looking in but had been in.

Solutions to life’s personal pollutions comes from sources sometimes, not even on the radar.  Wifey and I seldom attend the movies because.  Our life reads like a full featured film.  In reflection I know that is why the situation with the masquerader unfolded.  She believed the narratives making up my professional life, and.  Hers had somehow come from the files marked, “misery personified”.  Oh, let her tell it, she was fine.  Life from her perspective was fantastic.  Full of friends, FAM, every aspect of her life was fulfilling.

Been there, done that are the only mental pictures graphed when words such as this are expressed my way.  You see, life, relationships are usually, just a fantasy.  Based on assumptions derived from the viewing of projections snatched from others lives.

InnerActions between He ‘an She are better when following your own script.  Drama filled or not.  Color should be brought to you by, self.  As for the consulting of kind, this should only take place after the one writing the drama has taken the opp to visit the editing booth where a private viewing of their Auto-bio-epic can take place.

A Legal Eagle of mine, dedicated to me took a moment, reviewed all the high tech communications, intervened.  Served the mask marauder with a helping of her own manufactured drama.  After this encounter, the script was flipped, It was I who wrote and stared in this production.  It’s not ever good to deny who you are, where you’ve been or what you were doing while at that place in time.  I for one, will not do damage control.  Which is to say, I am me and don’t give a ‘uck who approaches, telling me about me.  Who you are, where you’ve been allows for you to create who you are.  This is called, “moving to brighter horizons“.  So, the natural progression of what transpired replayed.  The prequel emerged. Yes, all the dialogue, pre-shot footage, scouting reports, raw footage that was hoped to have been left inside the editing bay, all came to light.  “She” was introduced to herself.  Oh yeah FOLK.  This is what I do.  I do it well and the best part of it is.  This is not just a fantasy.  I’m not in a relationship.  I’m livin’ color!

Psssss; Many still assuming, living the illusion, wondering privately if they really know or understand what a GameLord is.  Cool your jets and let me tell ya.  A GameLord is the one who produces the production.  Fantasy or otherwise.  Play in their field, enter without a pass or personal invite while arriving without knowledge of self and kind and…  Well it’s like playing with fire.  Disrespect it and you will be burnt!