Archive for affairs


Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , , on July 9, 2014 by ichas8440


How does One accept what goes on within their intimate life when One can’t stand the person (s) lookin’ back at them in the mirror?

When the question was pushed, “How can I stay with my partner when they cheated on me”, my first thought; reflective.  It was the tone of voice which garnered my immediate attention primarily because.  The inflections upon the words chosen brought forth the condition of a declaration.  Yes, when communicating with another listen closely and you too can achieve this same ability in distinguishing while deciphering the exact origin of meanings.  A declarative statement comes when One is still processing what it is that has caused them to pause in the first place.  Declarative, under these circumstances means, “The pain, oh the pain”.  And yes, Pain replies.  “I’m here, simmering just below the first layer of your skin, waiting. Patiently for the moment you thinks everything is okay and then, bam.  I become the primarily reality while continuing to strike with a paralyzing force letting you know I am.  Large and in-charge because “YOU” refused to process me correctly during your initial exposure with what I bring to your table.  Hummm, the sting, it still hurts an even more than before.  I told ‘ya I was real…

First, when the realization comes and you visual the cheatin’ you know has happened, don’t…  I say again, don’t act surprised.  You should have been “making time” when you first set sights on your hearts’ desire.  Right, in relationships most are “marking time” which is the process of counting conquests and not making time which is focused pro-active devotion while truly engaged. Once cheatin’ has come to the light know this; there’s no new and improved School of Thought where One can enroll and learn the ways of romance which is the real motivation for the intimate relationship.  Something else, if One does slip up, identify a plan of approach and appears to be making time the Haters are already aligned and will voice in a collective way.  “You don’t know a damn thang about why you seem to be havin’ it your way with your significant other so stop it and come listen to me”.  Which brings me to this position.  Yes, the more this is contemplated and the FOLK involved rear their heads voicing their opinions, the more it appears counterintuitive to me so…  Why even listen to anybody who’s track record resembles the record of One who’s compromised themselves in all their previous intimate endeavors?

Secondly, when another cheats on One the difficulty in acceptance regarding what has just become joint common knowledge is based on what One has disliked of the self when reflecting on the image projected while in; The mirror.  This is to say, when you find fault within yourself don’t even think the other won’t identify the insecurities displayed within One’s psyche’ also.  Oh yes, what One assumes isn’t seen is always seen, just…  Seldom spoken about because.  Like you, the One in observation is from the same school of thought that says, “Calculate ,examine your opponent, risks factors, down grade immediately because this is pleasure baby, pure pleasure ”.  Right, the mind-set going into a relationship based on this dynamic pushes One to believe the hype.  “I’m not competing because they.  They…  They are so compatible with me this has to be real.”  Possibly, because with all the B.S. previously heard, believe and accepted your mind…  Is playin’ tricks on you.

Take it back to the beginning and you shall see, all relationship have a point where life is revolving while evolving in a state of total bliss.  Everything feels so good.  The stars in the sky are all in their proper alignment, the moon has shined down on One engulfing them and theirs in that lunar effect.  Nothing could be greater because…  Everything feels so right.  Hummm, it’s during this moment that One should consider and make the consideration extreme because.  You’ve just become the unlikely receptor of a chemically induced emotional head rush.  Don’t partake in illegal drug usage?  Doesn’t matter, the body has a remarkable Water Management program of which nothing man nor kind has been able to duplicate.  Now, with this in mind, factor in the body’s chemical manufacturing processing systems and you will quickly realize, The Cartel ain’t got nothin’ on you in the way of internal substances that are produced for one purpose.  To make you feel good.  Extremely “high”.  So all this bliss is, self induced and fully anticipated once and when you know.

Third, when you accept those aspects of The Self to which, One always publicly says “I luv myself”, when.  You truly know the real is, “There’s always something about me I can’t stand, and would change in a heart-beat”…  What, you thought you hid it well?  Don’t trip, you are only human.  What you hid was your ability to keep up what you started up.  Which was, a relationship built on the best you got, when…  The reality was, you knew you couldn’t keep it up but…  Who would find out and if you were exposed, too much time would have passed and nobody ‘ucks it up when vested.  Actually this is more manufactured B.S…

Movin’ from the traditional because all of what has been said is elementary. Cheatin’ happens because… Because… You just wasn’t all that from The Gate and yes I know there is the X Factor of which no one has any control of, still. The betrayal is felt based on the realization of what One kept seeing in the mirror yet refused to deal with straight-up with no chaser. When you “Play Hard” you’ve gotta think about the prequel. Its comin’ and not in the sequence you anticipated. There’s always a second act, side two, the flippin’ of the script because. That’s what FOLK have been pre-programmed to envision when dealin’ with another. Oh, forgot about the “elephant in the room”? Shouldn’t have ‘cause I told ya there isn’t a school to get you ready for the relationship but there will always be the spread of methods to beat you down once… Caught up. Again, if you think “traditional” you will miss the real. I suggest stepping outta your comfort zone and soar with what you may find. Once it happens it’s like stopping the bell from ringing after it rang. It happened, the move now is to become aware of the causes. Reflect and plot a plan on how to make the correction and. You will continue to find displeasure in the choices you accept for mates, but. It doesn’t stop the pro-active process.

Been cheated on…  Well you should have been paying attention to the clock.  When considering time and watching it pass, you soon realize, “It ain’t over”, it’s never over as in…  Over.  There’s always, time.  When arriving at this juncture you find the horizons are so much brighter because.  Options began to reveal themselves in ways and possible means not quite before imagined. There’s still the tried and true resolution beginning with leaving.  Or, you can back-track while setting the stage to win He or She back, but.  Fail to consider the option of “Who am I and What will I do for me”, and you will keep repeating the process beginning with selections from the of disillusioned mind category.

When I was “Played On”,(Oh, we don’t refer to this aspect of life as cheatin’ but it’s all the same).  When it happened to me I went through the same range of negative emotions just like average FOLK, but.  I rose above the madness because I truly know we aren’t all the same so that standardized classic B.S. about we are all the same, I won’t pick up.  Step with me, mesmerize me while telling me I’m the best you’ve ever had and I know one thing.  Even though I really really wanna believe you and know that I can find a way to absorb your inspiring words while making it all emotionally adaptable, you are a lie.  Same fears and phobias I held, no doubt I knew my significant other had those mirrored images reflected right back at ‘em when they stood, contemplating all their successes.  With…  One huge difference, sometimes my magic mirror displayed nightmares and I had every intention of blasting them right outta my life. How?  The same way any addiction is dealt with.  Yes, the cheatin’ aspect of a relationship is akin to an addiction.

The basic realities of all relationships are just that, basic.  You wanna win at this “re-configuration of self” get with this blue print.  Like an addiction you’ve gotta wanna change before change will manifest.  Like an addict goes to rehab so they may rid themselves of all the toxins poisoning their body because of what they keep putting in it.  You also have to understand the values of following an exact blueprint.  The only way you’re gonna maintain any sense of exclusivity within a relationship you’ve gotta continuously return to the source for the same purification.  Find your reasons for being and make them trump.  What makes you stand minus all the B.S will trump when you believe in it and live by it.

Cheated on, really…  Is there actually such a thing and if it is so what.  When or if it happens in your world, expand the alliances within that world.  Reach out and touch.  Create a support system. Not one where everybody is reciting those same ‘ol tired ass phrases.  You wanna take your re-certification in relationship 101 to the highest level.  Maybe ,in your moment of lapse and you find yourself driving aimlessly, lock into a real lyricist.  Those who compose songs usually have had universal experiences of which they’ve managed to find the capacity to put it into a language with a melodic component.  To point you in a liked minded direction, think Rick James.  He pinned a piece where the lyrics went like this.  “Dance with, dance with me baby. Shake your body all over and dance with me”.  Now imagine stepping to your significant other and sayin’ this.  No one especially a lover, consciously wants to refuse a dance where they are the center of attention.  Does something magical to the overall connection of intimacy.  Words such as this becomes personal mantras and privately elevate because they make One focus on what happens when One procrastinates while standing on that hype about, right.  “The Best I’ve Ever Had”.

All of those groups where One attends and say, “My name is, and I’m a…”  These groups have one good thing in common.  They know it ain’t ever over.  When you least expect it the monster will re-appear and this isn’t to say, cheatin’ is inevitable.  What is gonna happen, what is inevitable is…  Life.  So search and find those or One who is aware of the dynamics making up your life. Don’t settle based on what’s trending at any given time.  What’s popular isn’t always what’s best.  Western Society is steep in “Group Dynamics” which is a sheep’s mentality.  Break smooth away from this cycle.  Don’t wanna find yourself wonderin’ if He or She is creepin’ while you sleep, wake the ‘uck up.  Connect yourself to you and define who you are, accept what you wanna be about and be about that.

“This is a prioritization for your health and life. Believe that!”

Psssss; When I found myself in the mist of…  She who cheated on me and after listening to her explanation.  A story thought of and planned for this very occasion, I was also consumed with my very own plan designed to give me psychological restoration despite of past “regressions”, but.  I wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction and play the role she pre-scripted for me.  Instead, I listened intently, held her hand and gazed into her eyes and…  When she knew she had me again, I…  Hummm, this is where the prequel comes immediately into play.  Did I, swoop her off her feet, holding her high above the ground.  Place that over-due passionate kiss upon her lips and accidentally drop her on her ass just to get back like she did when she cheated on me and believe it was now, equal between us or…  Was I the One who listened and applied the same charisma she thought she had seen all the facets of when we were engaged only to discover, now…  I was more self-centered than she’d ever imagined and.  While looking into her eyes, mentally projecting my un-dying stupidity for her and her psychologically debilitating antics, of which I blasted back into a time neither She or I intended to re-examine and…  Have the valet rush to bring up my car so she and I could make it to the nearest hotel, do the nasty, shower and cuddle one last time before. Before she and I returned to our prospective significant others?  This has been scripted, edited and produced by none other than; The 22nd G.  There will be no others like me.  Assimilation?  Of course, but…  That still won’t make you me.  Take what ‘cha can, absorb, re-design, make it personal and claim it.  That’s how you soar with the visualization of what others see, know and are willing to share.



Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags on May 19, 2010 by ichas8440

Do you know what a Symbolist does?  I didn’t know what it was or what they did either.  Luckily I had the pleasure of meeting someone who does this.  Much like a true to life Indiana Jones a Symbolist has extreme knowledge in the recognition, identification and deciphering of meanings that appear in symbols.  It was during my down time that I happened to encounter one while exploring the canyons above my home.

As I stood above these drawings etched out all over the cliff walls, I finally had someone who knew how to explain what it was I was looking at.  Prior to this point I always viewed these ancient designs as…  Well, ‘ol school graffiti.  Whoa, way off!  Petroglyphics would be the correct term of what appeared on the limestone walls.  Drawings with some being actual rock carvings, all mediums telling the story of a people, their culture and environments.  Yea, my Symbolist could get this from knowing what the symbols meant.  I had been on a singular level while the Symbolist went way deeper.

“So, how can I help you with your relationship”

Let’s start at the beginning.  Looking for generic advice?  Go find one of those wanna be experts.  I specialize, a Specialist isn’t into generic anything.  To help another the one sought out to provide assistance must have precise knowledge of…  What’s real as in the actual dynamics of the union “you” have sought them out for consultation of.  In seeing the need to address what you feel is all messed up, you’ve gotta come correct.  Not just speaking while offering your version of what is!  Its like this, your spin is ok, but…  With a Specialist they see the true picture way before you put in your coloring and it has nothing to do with pre-judging.  It’s all about the preparations towards readiness.  Remember back in another blog I touched on the differences between being prepared and ready?  Follow me down this Yellow Brick Road and don’t assume anything ’til…  Well, just read and follow, read and follow.

The phone was on vibrate.  Because I was enjoying my meal the tingling sensation would subside momentarily as the phone would eventually be answered automatically by my service.  Meal done and a tasty one if I say so myself, I glanced down to review my message.  It wasn’t a text but a voice mail.  Her words were, “Help Me”.  Since I was no longer that Very Very Bocacious Guy but now the guy who went good, there was no way I was gonna delete this short message without…  Yes, I got back to the caller immediately.

Number in, phone ringing, we went through the quick formalities of exchanging names.  The messenger who left the previous message went deeper this time.  Her descriptive adjectives conveyed much.  “Help, I feel like I’m in a large bottle.  the cap is on.  Water is filling the bottle & I’m almost to the point where the water is at the base of my lips.  Please come quick!”

Don’t ‘cha just love the metaphors?  I do and completely understood the hidden meanings.  Here, allow me to transcribe.

“Large bottle”, an environment.  “Cap is on”, somewhere I thought I recognized but I’m in a very foreign situation.  “Water is filling the bottle”, I thought it was water but I quickly found out it wasn’t.  “At the base of lips”, in way too deep.  “Come quick”.  This is the best part of the encryption because it conveys so much about the actual state of this person’s being.

“Come quick”, she must be kidding.  She’s calling because of  her involvement in a relationship that previously satisfied some mysterious desire.  Now that she’s tasted that forbidden fruit she realizes she must abort mission and eject, but…  She knew this before she found herself in so deep ’til now…  Her fate is being sealed which…  Accounts for the substance she thought was water that is quickly closing close, to the base of her lips, (reads mouth).  A mouth that will soon to be silenced.  Shut permanently by the one she thought she knew but really didn’t know who now has no intentions of letting her go.  “It’s okay, I do this and fully understand that you don’t wanna just come out and say what is really goin’ on.”

In today’s world you can be with whomever you chose to be with.  Prob. #1, you forgot to consider that once you step out of your defined comfort zone it becomes a situation that is no longer all about you.  Big mistake, huge mistake.  Read this and think water.  Then see the oil seeping in with droplets of vinegar being added at a point in which you hadn’t even considered before you joined in the ride.

“Hey, he got all that out of this!  What if it’s just about two different cultures?” Good point, I can do this too.

Mixing races is cool, just don’t forget the blend that develops when you associate those two cultures.  Let’s do this, you have a person of Danish descent who locks down with one of color.  the two share much and do what they like.  Yet, they live in a world that is not theirs alone.  they are surrounded by Haters.  Those who speak of the non-published history’s of each of their individual past.  Right, planting seeds that will be germinated by human nature.  Society…  They are true pieces of work.  They come with issues and won’t stop ’til they bring you into their issues.  Don ‘t trip, this is what people do.

Oh, so you think you are immune to such a scenario?  You’ve got education and won’t stoop to such ignorance?  live in a quaint community, (reads gated areas).  Or you have that penthouse way up in the high-rise.  Safe zones hun…  Nope, guess again.  I don’t wanna see you being spat upon while believing that lie about it’s just rain, so check this out.  The public at large is way more savage than anyone wants to admit.  When the film drops (When People Attack While Going virtual) don’t miss it.

Now, to stay “in pocket” with this let’s kick it up a couple of digits by adding another factor to consider.  “Moms and Pops”, they  just ain’t hearing your argument about how great your choice in a mate is.  Alright, that is their hang up; so you say.  Welcome to Prob. #2.  Think DNA.  Oh you don’t have to carry the sins of the Father or suffer the faults of the Mother, but it’s in you regardless.  Consider where you were raised.  Was it in a 2 parent home?   Are you of the nevo-gen?  (See raised by extended FAM members or surrogate FAM friends).  Despite of where you may fall within any of these additions, all of this supports a part of your acquired characteristic behavioral make-up.  The point being, everything around you and associated with you creates a connection to you!

This isn’t a complicate thing.  Relationships.  Unions between He&She, marriages along with many of their individual dynamics and collectively displayed traits are easy to understand.  The simplicity is to just accept when you are in a Jungle or find yourself on the deck of a ship that has no Captain in Command.

Mixing cultures, trying out different races, dabbin’ in various religious beliefs in an effort to create your own special blend is cool.  Just remember when you are focused in getting it together the key to succeeding is to know that…  In order to establish your place in this great race, it all begins with the recognition and your independent understanding of the differences that make up this entire planet.

Psssss; Don’t trip, I do this.  Come in Japanese and I know enough about ‘cha to remove my shoes before coming into your home.  Bring it in Black and I really know that all of you don’t do Ghetto.  Make it in White and…  Yes, because of how this whole worldly thing has un-folded, I know that many of you feel entitled.  Sometimes to the point of assuming everybody else wants to be like you all.  But then again, I also have experienced enough of life to know that some of you are way cool and…  Well these are those who have the same swagger as I.  Which means we can do this thing called life together.

I am The 22nd G.  Sometimes I see you even before you get to me.  Peace

“S.N.III… Done & I’m Out”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, Relationships with tags on April 22, 2010 by ichas8440

At the beginning of this S.N. thing I said I’d do it in 3, now I’ll attempt to put it all together for ya.  People run to these Social Networks, post their pics, create their bios, then kick back, anticipating the arrival of the many invites in their friends box.  I mean, why shouldn’t they?  All Social Networks tell you this, “We are the way to those relationships you can’t live without”.  And they show that most of their members have gazillions friends.  So I ask this, why are most of the members still lonely?  Oh, they may dine with some of those met via the S.N. but they are still living alone, sleeping alone and wondering alone, why can’t I find that one!

This is not to say that FaceTime answers all questions or considerations about who it is you wanna get with.  Just say, FaceTime keeps you sharp when it comes to knowin’ YOU.  Physical interactions allows for the possibilities of recognizing most of those fears and phobias many carry within.  When something is manifested in another it ushers in un-explored conclusions usually relevant to the one in witness.  Vibe off of this.

Two people greet and meet, each is on their best behavior because they really want something exciting to happen from this engagement, but…  Your senses start to tingle, immediately you feel that something isn’t quite right.  Maybe this is due to how the one you’re meeting with cracks their lips.  Possibly you were on a different level and picked up on a scent, no matter how slightly emitted.  Pheromones told ya something, hun!  Regardless, what is known is that because of this, you draw the line.  You feel betrayed or worse…  Lied to.

Stop the DRAMA.  In your quest to appear totally cool, full of swagger, you probably left out a lot also.  But because it is you who feel deceived, rage becomes the operative emotions.  Even though secretly feeling this, you still wanna enjoy the fruits of this joint harvest, but in your mind those plans have already been laid.  Plans that are about recognizing at a certain point during that right time, you will abort mission & eject.  Leaving this person behind, confused and emotionally dis-connected.  And…  It doesn’t matter the trauma you will cause in this person’s life, it’s all about you.  Has been and will always be.

Again, stop the DRAMA.  You came, you saw and only heard what ‘cha wanted to hear from this person.  Especially when your emotions where running high.  Not once did you slow your roll to see that life isn’t always about you.  Life is full of compromises no matter the point of entry.

Friends are really those who you need to hold close.  Now as for the loves of your life.  Be them coming from a Social Network or what.  They are the ones who need to be held closer.  How can you hold friends from The Net that close?  Friends from The Net are kept in a certain category, one where the lie isn’t that important.  Loves are lied to also, but you feel you can reconcile that because they are…  After all, a Love!  But where did it all start from?  S.N.’s create some of the same dynamics that meet and greets do, still you won’t know the depth of that connect without FaceTime.

People have preconceived images of who it is they have engaged, and moreso if that person comes from a Social Network.  Most of these conclusions are based on BS reports coming from sources that have an agenda from the gate.  But, those who access these sources swear by them.  That is, until they are subjected to the same sources.  Now factor this in, it is all a part of a very elaborate game.  Exactly like the game you engaged in from the beginning.  Remember “I lied to you but it was such a small thing so I’m exempt”. What is small about who you’ve slept with before he or she arrived?  This question doesn’t only go to your character, but life expectancy when you really break it down.  Tell me, can you see the lie via the social network connect?  Do you read into the report you have before you about real intimate details of one’s live?  Reports don’t give that.  Chat lines cannot decipher that.  Webcams…  Who’s the fool now.  That  is staged also.  Doesn’t matter if it is in real time, or delayed motion, what matters is the actual agenda of who it is you are getting at.

A las, this is where I tell you about “Playing to Win”

When you seek anyone know that what you seek and how you seek them, oh yes…  He & She, same motivating factors when engaged in the quest of seek and find new friend.  The only difference is the expose’ as in the way one sex engages versus the other.  Point being, you are not alone in methods of eval or manipulations, even when you place more importance on your values than theirs!

The Net gives you high-tech methods of connecting but creates a barrier when you want real substance to those you are connecting with.  The Net allows for you to create your own movie, and it allows for script changes without you being notified.  Yes, you are a Star in this production and should have 1st options of refusal but… Not your show therfore your terms and conditions weren’t even a real option from the beginning.  Now when you do FaceTime, taking a moment to see while reviewing those micro-expressions that will be on full display.  Not only real time but under actually conditions, you will have a much clearer picture of how the production may proceed.

Psssss; Someone close to me demands that I accept the fact that few want or even are interested in long-term relationships, (see marriage).  And this is what I’m defining when pushing my points especially in seeking FaceTime.  Basically I say to this, ‘uck you.  Flip the script and put her in the equation and she can miss me too. It’s like this.  Some of those who “Played In The Fields Of Masta'” didn’t have the game the thought.  Most were like those birds and mimicked by way of learning flashy ways.  Fundamentally they were never sound, just in The Game because someone told ’em they’ve got game.  Which is why they are now on the sidelines, watching The Game go by.  I touch on issues that may seem trite to some but check this.  Wisdom comes with the passage of time where one considers many things after that time-line passed.  Which is to say, what is said wasn’t always known when we were actively participants.  Still, it is now known.  Feel me

“Igga Please”©

Posted in Communications, psychology, Relationships with tags , on January 6, 2010 by ichas8440

New season and a different year, with  “G” continuing to walk without fear.  The beginning of another decade yet…  More of the same charades!  No matter how much seems to change, things remain the same.

In an attempt to distance himself from the corruption of society, “G” decides to take a drive into the forest.  Not one to relish a drive alone he reluctantly invites an associate.  Just anyone won’t do but someone who will add to the depth of his consciousness.  So he opts for one of the Boyz’ who is knowledgable in varous Histories.

Fifty miles up the highway and after many stops for smoke breaks, placating his companion, destination finally reach.  “G” pulls off to the side of the road and…  His rider immediately hops out, stretches,  stands magestically while inhaling the clean fresh air.  Then proceeds to partake in another cig.  The sight is of no importance to “G” as he is aware of how his associate does what “he” do.

Fiendishly puffing, he speaks of how others follow without really knowing where they are going or who they are getting behind.  Adding that this is something he refuses to do.  “G”, forever aloof, concurs, but…  He had learned many moons ago that when you listen to whomever it is you have given an audience to, they will evenutally tell you everything about themselves before…  You even ask.  As “G” enjoyed the silence provided by the stillness of the forest, he also recalled the purpose of this juant.  Which was to “re-charge” his emotional cells.

Continuing with the monologue his associate made mention that he was, “a General” and would never…  What so ever be a follower.  “G” found this statement not funny but amusing because he knew simple logic and in knowing this he knew that to arrive at the degree of a General you first have to be that low level Private.  Basically put, “G” knew that everyone who becomes anyone must start at the bottom of the totem pole, listening & following someones’ orders.  But…  Rather than “bring the rain” “G” had no prob. in his refrain.  Besides, as his associate so eloquently said, “I ain’t ’bout ‘ta follow no M.F.!”

As mentioned, “G” was fully impressed with this man’s insights regarding historical issues and how they equate to everybody, but “G” also knew that when it came to common sense, anyone could see that his associate was completely lost.

That loss factor really kicked in after his associate finished his 3rd cig and asked.  “Hey dude, when are we gonna be in the forest you said would be waiting on us?”

Without missing a beat, “G” sighed, shook his head as if amazed and said.  “Why General, we’ve been in it since that turn-off miles back.  Just look up.”

Psssss; Many can’t see because they have no idea what they are lookin’ for.  Like when in a relationship.  Constantly fussin’, fightin’, all for your right to be heard.  Not ever realizing you where identified, approached & heard before you even uttered that first word.  People seldom equate secondary aspects of life with personal things which are needs just to make “life” right.  This is usually why people ‘uck up so many things that are near and dear to ’em.  Today, try this.  Shut-up, pay attention and you may get somewhere while enjoyin’ the ride someone else has agreed to take with you!  Feel me

“Tiger… I only know of one.”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , on December 10, 2009 by ichas8440

In the town of over the top opulence, also known as Las Vegas, another ultra-chic mega-resort recently opened.  Situated on the south-end of The Strip, located between Tropicana & Flamingo, resting on the westside of the street is City Center.  Architecturally speaking; magnificent.  It also happens to be the spot all the Movers & Shakers of Vegas have pinned their financial futures on.

I was lucky enough to be on site during the grand opening of the Hotel/Residential property “Mandarin Oriental“.  Their brand is designed for those with money to exchange.  As for me, I really enjoyed their teas.

It was while I partook in this gathering given by a group of professional women, that I realized I had been captured by the prey.  The Speaker was clever in the way she played me, putting the spotlight on me, simply by saying.  “Could someone from the audience explain why “Tiger” would throw all that money away by dilly around with women who obviously aren’t his wife?” Yes, I was thrown into the fire and hadn’t even been asked if I wanted to be the main dish.  No matter.

As I am a student of People-Watching 101, the element of fear people have of others had long been removed from my psyche’.  So, their applauds were welcomed as were their extending hands in their attempt to lead me to the podium.  As I stepped forth, I realized their invite…  Although stimulating to receive such an honor, creating a chemically induced sense of excitement in me even before I showed up.  If you understand the intoxicating effects of such a situation, you know where my head was at.  Still, I walked straight ahead…  Delivering my head to their guillotine.

The clapping faded and the emotions seemed to settled in their eyes when I casually responded to their inquiry.  “I cannot answer your question as I am not Mr. Woods nor am I a celeb.” That statement alone, immediately changed the mood within the room.  Now, they waited for more, and…  I obliged.

“I know of only one Tiger.  He’s GREAT, and goes by the name of Tony.  Has a cousin who is also deep into marketing, known affectionately as Chester.  But he’s a Cheetah.” My point hit its mark and the tension subsided three degrees more.  Continuing I pushed to convey to all of them that my Tiger is media driven so I don’t expect anything more that what it is.  Adding, “when you don’t expect anything, you won’t set yourself up for any surprises”.

My concluding words about the ugly situation Tiger Woods found himself in gained me even more props. from those in attendance.  That statement.  “All this talk about the man chasing the women for sex, ends with y’all making the man out to be this cold, deceptive sex addict.  But, let a woman be on the hunt and y’all refer to it being a case of expanding her social network.  Okay ladies, I give-up, and it’s give-in.  Permission granted…” As they looked at me, some with confusion etched on their faces, others showing anticipation as to what would come next, I ended their thirst by saying.  “Be like Tony and tell the truth.  It’s GRRREAAAT!”

Psssss;  Much of what people do is based on a combination of acquired behavior with a ‘lil innate characteristics sprinkled in.  When people act on impulse this is said to be of the reptilian variety.  A la, people see, people want, people take.  As for the consequences, the realization of them only comes with the passage of time.  Hey, are we talkin’ maturity?  Tiger Woods’ life is his life to lead or cast to the winds while damning those who thought he was bigger than them.  The women who gave themselves to him accepted that permission slip previously defined, allowing them to…  Do what people do!

WorkPlace Romance “The Prequel”©

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , , , , on October 15, 2009 by ichas8440

“Okay, I’m in it, now…  Can I win it?”

In the fairy tale “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”, the 7 sing a song about going off to work.  Based on their obvious audible glee, facial expressions, you’d think they are happy and satisfied.  Now, factor in Reality 5.0 followed by the removal of emotions governing the self and you’ll know those Dwarfs are totally aware that no body wins.  Especially under the conditions and circumstances they have to contend with.  7 into one; hummm.  Breaks down all th time but cannot be consummated at the same time.

HomebaseBayAreaThe public perception of a workplace romance is that a course has been charted, set and taken.  All that remains is for that course to come to its conclusion.  How the workplace romance started will determine how it ends.  Win or lose is all subjective.  Those who go into one and don’t have a significant other in a holding pattern outside the workplace may feel they’ve succeeded because of the secondary acquistion.  But…  If that relationship was based on mere sex, it will always lack the ties that are needed to bind.  If not one, then both will occasionally reflect on the others actual depth to interest and cause of commitment.  This will be where the seeds of discourse will plant themselves.  Friction follows and eventually do what it does.  Erode the foundation!

There is another scenario, in fact many.  But I will stick with these few provided.  If either of the two are true in knowing the realities of He & She, then they will know if lies were part of the equation, the doom is only relative to the coming of the passage of the novelties expiration date.  Now place respect on the horizon, allow it to show glimpses of itself during the flirtatious period…  Right, the chances of success are greater because discretion would have come into play before any decisions of exposure with regard to the physical engagement would have been decided on.

Now, for those who can handle the truth.  I give you the truth

Workplace romances are a given.  Someone posed an analogy using the desire to have an apple, which was supplemented when they saw an orange.  This quickly vanished when the banana came on the scene, and the pretty yellow thing was zapped!  Ejected for the sweet, succulent flavors of the kiwi.  I quickly recognized the transition play, which…  Was what every motivation to engage is based on.  A play without the need to stick with what is you!

Life is like a card game, even when you know there are 52 cards in a single deck, the game won’t be limited to the fifty-two switches that are known, and needed to play and win.  In the workplace romance, there are switches known.  There are switches that are obvious no matter the degree of ones involvement.  Then…  You have those switches that are, disguised.  Hidden and very seldom revealed to prying eyes.  Whoa, did I slip and forget to mention the subtle injection of racial implication based on social norms?  Silly me.

Recall I told ‘ya I did this?  You assumed my meaning was that I did the apple and never consider the orange.  Hate to burst the image but I wouldn’t, couldn’t; discriminate.  Color didn’t slow my desires.  Pay grades…  I went below mine and above theirs.  What I had not consider was the mentality of those with me or around me.  You know how you can be with something, involved with everything, but…  Remain detached from all that appears to be consuming you.  Well that was me.  Atypical personality, but personal to the point of that moral code being forever present within my psyche’.

Truth be told, females and males of different races are no different than males and females of different cultures.  When one of theirs steps away from the village everyone applauds.  Praises them for having the vision, showing the courage and being principled enough to venture forth and be all they can be.  The real is this support is public display of Drama!  African Americans, Asians, Italians, even Mesopotamians…  Are not sooooo accepting when it is about splittin’ thighs while screams such as, “oh, ahhh, oh my, God bless America, can be heard piercing the silence.   This disdain for what’s now out in the open even extends to those who are invited to the fake wedding party!

Oh, you say I sound jaded?  If you even think about mentioning being jaded, miss me altogether.  I told you all I don’t exist in this life, I live life.  So, hold up on the jaded thing, okay.

Today our President is of mixed heritage.  What’s goin’ on with this!  It’s not about his decisions that causes the uproar within the masses.  When he publicizes that he’s about to appear and address the children of our nation, the haters come out droves.  And it isn’t because of the content of what he’s bringing to the table.  It’s that he should have known better, (based on them), that he isn’t sitting down at the table.  The color thing has clouded those who feel they can assess his character!  And guess what, the same goes for workplace romances.  You are damned if you take it to the level of the 5th phase and think you will be granted a pass.

Something else just donned on me that I must speak on.  If you don’t understand any of this because we are a nation of multiple mixed people, and you feel that reality precludes my conclusions.  Hey really, I don’t care.  I’ve been there and have done it.  And…  I’m still standing.

Psssss.  Workplace anything is best left at work!