Archive for December, 2012

Bang. Bang Bang; Wife Swap, Polyamorous, Alternative Endings…

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , on December 20, 2012 by ichas8440

ichas8440Graphics_BangBangBang_IV_2012 - Copy       ichas8440Graphics_BangBangBang_II_2012        ichas8440Graphics_BangBangBang_III_2012

Bang.  Bang Bang!  The former being the singular when heard piercing the stratosphere.  Reverberations.  Makes FOLK assume a gun has been shot.  With the three following one another in such rapid succession, signifying a volley, it’s safe to say the third shot was discharged for…  Good measures.  This being the case and…  If so, while keeping everything in context, the initial shot was released to.  Ease the pain because of what was started in the first place.  Oh yeah, that second shot.  Kill shot.  All day and in every way.  Expired as a guarantee.  One gun, three shots fired.  He to She, her at him.  Perfect conclusion of human compatibility when things no longer have that personal luster.

Today they use the term “Bling“.  Expressed to signify a piece of…  Hummm.  Back-In-The-Day I used the term “Je’Els“.  Six of this half ‘ah dozen of that, terminology changes but it all remains the same.  Everybody is seeking ownership.  My thing is, “who’s really ready to accept the ownership of what they’ve created”.  And now this…  The allegedly latest trend in social engagement.  “Wife Swapping, Polyamorous LifeStyles“.

When “Youngsta‘” approached, seeking a brighter horizon which would provide him clarity on this so called new extraordinary method of “keepin’ the home fires burnin’“, he came to me not only irate but visibly confused.  Opening his greeting to me with,  “Say O.G“, and upon hearing this, I knew.  Knew it was time, to “Reach One, Teach One, Be One“.  And since I was already “The One“, raise another one.  Yes, once again, my door was closed but I still heard the knock.  Called upon to teach another one.

Everything I do starts with thought.  ICHAS8440 spawned from the same mindset.  My destination along the road I’d take you on had already been identified.  Personal goal, simple.  To enhance the lives of He ‘an She based on what I know in relation to who I am.  Way down the road, glancin’ back, I’ve pretty much accomplished this while witnessing something else peeking out at me.  He, She.  Family, aka “FAM“, friendship, significant other, cohabitants.  All the words spread by others describing what people do when trying to find the best way to…  Co-exist.  Society and all its people seem to be meaningless while trying to define what is!  What motivates one to engage the other has casually been reduced to nothin’ more than a physical thang.  As it is said, sex sells, and…  By all indicators it’s the driving force of man and its kind.

These blogs I’ve produced, come minus an audio feed a la podcast.  Text is supreme.  My choice medium for clear articulation of my thoughts and the ancient philosophy known as CHALO©.  Some pay attention to the words.  Absorbing them and rising with the knowledge expressively contained.  But…  It’s the inclusion of those base graphics that draw the attention of the masses.  Yes, those stimulating pics.  Injected as a compliment, designed to advance the process of thought.  With a few, my target has been met.  Whereas the many, no development.  Much like the title or subject matter used to bring attention to this piece.

What’s trending today with regard to relationships, wife swapping, etc, etc.  Nothing is new from my perspective.  Just like my understanding of the demographics identified to please the psycho/emotional palate of my intended audience.  As for Polyamorous activities, stay with me, I’ll get to that.  As for Alternative Endings, continue and you’ll recognize the built-in tragedies which flow with Alternative Lifestyles.

As a lead-in let me put this out there.  During a previous moment in my walk of exploration, and only after an attempt was mounted to suck the life outta me, “she”…  In catching her breath with her head laying across my chest, looked over her eyebrows, posed for that moment.  Hoping to move me off my center base with her look of inspiration, and said.  “You are a swinger.”  As smoothly as she made this move, I wasn’t feelin’ her.  Maybe she didn’t fully accept my dismissal of her long ago, of which…  Was something anyone would have acknowledged knowing I wouldn’t exchange words while she, “performed”, but.  Such is the result of one functioning from a position relaying on selective consciousness.  Because of this, I can only conclude.  She was feeding and everything else…  Wasn’t important.  Which is why she kept runnin’ her mouth in her moment of digestion, sayin’.  “You like this sorta’ thing, this lifestyle you’re in.  You think you’re all that.  You ain’t no king, I hope you know this.”

Again, barbarism isn’t me, but.  If she’d of been able to read minds like me she’d of known my thoughts to be.  “You do better focusing on the protein diet you’ve been swallowing like a hungry Momma bear lappin’ up honey rather than attempting to psychoanalyze me cause I really don’t give a fuck.”

People, their ways and persuasions.  When one thing fails, they have a strong tendency to morph into things they haven’t fully considered.  Like this trending Wife Swapping.

A ‘lil mo Intel.  She was married and tried to convince me she had been emotionally abandoned.  Psychologically dismissed by Hubby.  Time spent with “yours truly”, was all based on Hubby driving her into another’s realm.   “Luckily I found you, you’re safe“.  yes, I’m safe and just fell off a banana boat.  Yes, drawn to the “Heater Head” abilities of another, I elected myself so I’m as much to blame as she.  But…  This move, her audacity to try to take me into this dark place she maintained; Please.  Her Alternative Ending would not be anything I’d share in.  Just like the alternatives of whatever another assumes intimacy will be once they step to another.  Seeking some sort of alternative satisfaction.  It won’t turn out as imagined either.  And since I’ve peeled back this layer let me add some more reference Intel.

Another, extremely close to me.  So extreme, reached out and let me know a change was being made to her lifestyles.  She, during one of those moments of reflection decided to move in the direction of polyamorous activities.  A conclusion arrived at because…  As she so eloquently said, “We evolved from this remember“.  I heard her but…  I didn’t recall any of this, and.  Rather than become caught-up in “who knew what we were really doin’ Back-In-The-Day”, I knew it’d be best to recluse myself.  Besides, why engage in a conversation where the other functions from a position regulated by narrow focus.

Poly is Greek in origin and means several.  The latter part of the word “amor” is Latin and means love.  There was no several where I was concerned with any of my previous engagements.  Nor was there love for any others even thinking about gettin’ with any of the women I happened to be with.  Especially from my point of perception.  And…  Before I forget, poly comin’ from the Greeks, a nation arriving at a point of consciousness whose main focus was to keep up all sorts of mystical chasing shit, tell me one thing.  They were all up in perverted stuff. That’s what cultures do once they’ve reach the height of their experimentation into total division and conquering of others.  But…  Back to the topics at point.

My Ex. like others, after the passage of time in this Polyamorous move, ran into a serious situation.  All the so called parties in agreement began to opt out in a violent way.  Beginning with exposing and working with their true beliefs.  Those parts of a contract between He and She that never reveal itself until satisfaction can be reaped by the one it benefits.  Still, she survived the “Bang Bang Bang” episode.  Un Hummm, mad gunfire discharged by those who were ‘pose to be obliging cohorts.  Funny thing was, it didn’t matter the station (s) in life of those involved, none were about to let the other have what was assumingly theirs.  Call me old fashion, tell me I’m antiquated, right about now, I’d say, ‘uck you.

When I was comin’ up I didn’t refer to women as “bitches” unless I was dealin’ with a bitch.  Today, women call themselves, each other; bitches.  What I trip off of when hearing this is.  The defining traits of a bitch are the same today as yesterday, which tells anyone who’s aware, ain’t nothing changed.  Much like the wife swapping and all the alternative lifestyle activities that are considered something new.  In trippin’ down this destructive road my Ex was blessed.  Blessed to miss the demise of her life and based on this pass alone, she’d better recognize what the agenda of the other partner (s) is before she commits to any change in lifestyle, if.  She decides to make it a double entry again.

Words are fine but.  Reach back, way back into your mind and pull up the category where intuition has been shelved.  An innate ability long forgotten as a result of what the “social orientation” from the beginning was really all about.  Do this and you’ll have the source needed to evaluate what your people of choice really are about.  When I was doin’ it like I did, my insight was tight.  Providing me with an ability to spot those who would and could participate in my carnal choices way before they entered my space.  And think, recently our esteemed scientist published a report confirming women can look at a man and determine if he will cheat, all based on gesticulations.  To channel Yoda, “Way ahead of the curb was I”.

 My point, simple.  I knew.  I knew the characteristics and traits of a true-live bitch just as I knew what it would take to partake in wife swapping be you me married or not.

Any alternative anything is usually based on one thing.  A moved decided upon because something isn’t working out in the primary category.  A totally personal choice even when others are consulted prior to the official move.  And no, it’s not an exercise in options.  One is just placating the self when doing anything alternative.  What I trip off of when hearing or witnessing this state is.  You’ll never arrive at a point of being “calmed down” based on a settlement of anything.  Remember…  “Choice”.  An ability to choose is individual not collective, no matter who’s involved.  As for all things intimate, don’t get it twisted.  What the other does or doesn’t commit to, will affect you in the long run more so if you are involved.  Knockin’ Boots with another, a Booty call.  Just words.  Verbal expression employed to define an activity that hasn’t changed since the beginning of time.  Much like the alternative lifestyles many are engaged in during these times.  These adjectives just give the user a false sense of projecting being in the know.  (see cool relative to swagger)

Something else while I’m in the mood.  Who in their right mind is gonna spend time.  Intimate time, recognizing the potential of the one they’ve chosen.  Having listened to the needs of this significant other.  Demanding of you to tell them if and when your levels of anticipated satisfaction have been met, and…  “If not, show me, tell me, just let me know what you feel or are missing so I can do it right“.  Only to turn ’em over to another!  Is this some sick shit or what?  Swapping “He or She” is…  To me, akin to spending time identifying an invaluable object, securing it, putting the polish onto it and then, handing it over to another.  I found the Diamond in a Mountain of Ash.  I put in work and I’m just gonna let some foreign somebody have it.  ‘Uck you again, I’m not that into sharing what I’ve discovered or attached myself to.  The magnetism required to attract and sustain the commitment of another is not to be taken lightly, which is to know this…

All aspects of life have consequences.  These lifestyles I’m speaking on, comes with a huge price according to personal extraction.  Ones not limited to ethical compensation either.  All so, don’t come at me with the Drama about cultural aspects.  Or move to submit the legal ramifications.  All relevant, but…  It’s way beyond this also.

FOLK play at this monogamy and I’m not sayin’ it’s not a reality but what I’m saying is despite of the basic philosophical differences and geo-crossovers, in time.  As a result of participation in any of this, blood will flow.  Why?  Because.  You, me, He, She, society.  They are all selfish.  Even if emotional content has been a consideration from the beginning, once the move is made, in a short time; intellect will trump.  Telling those involved, despite of a desire being met.  It wasn’t the choice as mentioned by an option exercised because of some sort of complications on a personal level dictating something such as.  “I will have my satisfaction and…”  As I said, there will be blood.

Youngsta sat there, marveling at what I delivered and.  Was confused.  Diverting his eyes, maybe so I wouldn’t recognize the intensity of his inability to grab the significance of what I said, and…  Suddenly becoming captivated by a photo hanging behind me.  To keep him in the fold, I…  I immediately told him the reasons for the “pics of prosperity”.  Those of which were defined by the voluptuous body of a internationally sexy female, and; me.  Youngsta didn’t have to force the focus.  By the position of his eyes, the level of his stare, it was obvious what section of the female’s anatomy had caused the intense eye lock.  Oh yes, beast are always in the equation.  Because of his, un-spoken thoughts driving his imagination wild, I calmly request to know something of him, which was.  “If she was in your camp, would you let your soldiers partake in the sweetness of her fruits”.   Youngsta, smiled and spit the truth.  “Just lookin’ at ’em I wanna invade your camp just to see if I can come up“.  Oh how I love truth.  And with his words I bestowed onto him the meaning of “Youngsta”.  A word to mean he will one day, arrive at the star he sees himself as, but.  Right now, he’s still young!

Today, society is no longer a band defined by either Hunters or Gathers.  It was during those times, eons ago when He or She shared their significant other and.  Not just to drop off some edibles.  Sharing your significant other was practiced openly.  Done to maintain the stability of the “tribe”.  But…  Even so and under such rules of survival, do you think a King or Queen within those same camps share?

Before assumptions are made, allow me to put forth the  answer that doesn’t flow from moral constraints, No!  When you lead you take.  Cloak it, disguise it, re-name it, but…  What is, won’t change.  When you command you understand the ways to subtly demand.  Morals change depending on the development and foresight of the society that upholds ’em.  Still, certain beliefs seem to come from deep within and are defined beyond one’s conscious projections.  My thoughts, my beliefs on this taboo subject.  Youngsta for once, has decided to bridge the gap which defines our different gens.  Maybe, maybe as his mind was open to a different perspective, so will all of you be.

Psssss; My year end piece focused on the new trend and some are so twisted they’ll engage in anything that remotely appears to eliminate the boredom from their lives.  Alternative Endings are the result of seeking other’s “inclusive” ways to an otherwise miserable life involving another.  Alternative Endings that any one of you can define by simply…  Glancing in the mirror, exploring your mind and accepting what you’d do if and when you find yourself advancing into sick ass waters that.  You may be able to swim in but.  Shouldn’t be dippin’ in.  Try puttin’ in work by redefining who and why you engaged in the first place.  Then you may stop “pushing pawns” hoping you’ll be successful in invading another’s Court.  Capturing a Queen making yourself another fake ass King in an otherwise, tossed up life!

Holiday Greetings; Wifey Ex Porn Star… What?

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology with tags , , on December 1, 2012 by ichas8440

ichas8440_Graphics_HolidayGreetings_2012 -I

Sergei, (government name), strolled into my domain, bringing with him a tag-along; (despondency).  Glancing over his face, eyeballs bulged, nostrils lookin’ subway tunnels, I wondered if he may have been a collage of objects snatched from life itself.  Then, I ditched that in favor of knowin’ he was prepping for a role in the next SyFy movie.  Throwing himself into my good leather chair, crossing his arms, then the snort.  “Nasty” had arrived and with it, the typical words germane to what I do and deal with.  “After all these years, I can’t believe this bitch could fix her mouth to say what I heard her say, she was a star in the porn industry.”  Even though I don’t indulge “personally” the porn thing caught my attention.  Immediately I thought to myself, “Who could he be talkin’ about and based on his choice of topics, everything else had to be pushed into the recesses of my mind”.  There we sat.  Two men, one curious the other seeking a destination.  I, the one with subtle curiosity, draw lines on a paper, wait on some more to dribble over his lips.  He, watching me, and I know, because I use ‘ta read minds, wondering to himself.  “Does this man even understand this shit I’m going through?”  Then he shoots one of those confirming looks my way.  His mouth, sorta’ cracks just along the corner of one side and…  I instinctively knew one thing.  “After all these years of being away, “He” pulls me right back into it.”

Sergei.  Appeared at a time when I happened to be in “Mode2Me“.  And based on his time of arrival while opening on this level, he got one of my smiles said to be sorta’ mischievous.  Perceived as “Bad”, which is to say, I was functioning in optimum professional capacity and…  For his psychological pleasures, he’d get something no other would dare extend under like circumstances.  Whatever Sergei came with would be quickly unwrapped, consciously absorbed, assessed with a re-dress the likes he might not be ready for.

My words, rang true.  Sergei, like many, thought the apple he chose, the shinny one selected as his very own, was that un-touched one.  “No, I agree.  Impossible so factor in this.  Probably not anything like Mary, the Virgin, but, still angelic, okay.”  What Sergei hadn’t considered was, all apples start somewhere else way before they arrive, laid out, displayed in a very aesthetically sensuous way.  Apples, Women, Men.  It’s all about the visual.

Oh yes, I agree, apples aren’t like people, but what you’re missin’ while caught up in “what is correctness” is the simplicity of my analogy.  Maybe because you haven’t considered the origin of an…  Apple in relations to  Origins.

Macintosh, Granny Smith, Green Apples, Red Delicious, all apples.  All hybrids.  Created over years of cross breeding and or pollination.  Prior to arriving, they were  picked, gathered, sorted, classified, cleaned and polished.  “Hummm, now you’re feelin’ it, hun.”  Apples, exactly like any adult arrive direct from their childhood, appearing in the adult world.  Polished, ready willing and very able to satisfy.

One prob..  Sergei, unlike the child moving quickly towards adulthood, had an after market adaptation.  Not genetic modification but.  His mindset, based on environmental impacts had pre-programmed him.  He now wouldn’t think in his own best interest.  Conclusions of what or whom he dealt with were arrived at without any real understanding of pertinent facts.  “This is where everybody says, Assumptions“.  Exactly.  Like believing Wifey just dropped into his lap.  Appearing outta no where, only there for his pleasures.  Capable, like Super Woman yet.  Minus any applicable knowledge of…  Sergei.

“Hummm, did he think she’d been locked up somewhere, and when she caught a whiff of his scent, miraculously re-created the roll of Rapunzel?”

Without allowing me to even imply I wanted to delve a ‘lil deeper into the main issue, which was Wifey revelations, he continued.  Verbalizing with the “back story“.  Sergei, assuming again as to what my thoughts had to be, rushed to get his side out there and I.  Paid very close attention.  Mainly because he went beyond the scope required to “fill me in” and.  Brought me way up to speed.  In the process and having no shame in taking liberties towards personal embellishments, I realized something.  Sergei never was Sergei or was he ever, Serg.  The name came from the three times removed Uncle on his Mother’s, Sister’s Aunt’s side.  Who said “Nephew acted like a Sergei, so I named him Sergei “.  People and their B.S., don’t cha just luv the back story?

Before Serg even approached with this dilemma, someway, somehow I was privy to know a ‘lil something of his Wifey.  She, during another previous moment of emotional lapse, asked me to define, while clarifying the meaning of truthfulness within a relationship.  Based on what she knew of men she knew it wouldn’t have been nice to attempt to fool “me” regarding what she was comin’ across with.  I guess she heard of someone I knew personally; Mother Nature.  Fool her and you have no idea what’s comin’.  Sometimes I do some un-announced channeling, especially when anyone wants to…  Play mind games.  As with Sergei, so was I with Wifey in revealing how to work it where two are concerned.

On truthfulness, no matter how either of ’em served it.  Truth, would always be subjective.  Truth is relative to what one’s experiences are.  Even if you say you are truthful, your truth will only go so far as you intend.  If one feels the slightest bit of leaning towards a possible loss, based on tellin’ the truth, believe me.  What you get will be masked.  Delivered to gain sympathy.

When two people meet, feel they’re right for each other, personally and privately this won’t mean they will play fair.  When sharing with another regarding who you are, first you’ve gotta deal with where you’ve been.  And before you ever get to that point you’ve gotta factor in what you were doing when you were where you were at prior to arriving at your present point.  A point of intersection that may or may not be receptive to…  Right, the point from where you’re comin’ from.  This is not to say you lie to your significant other, but.  Adult life, with the various switches, contradictions pertaining to life within relationships.  Most aspects become an exchange of Intel based on a need to know basis.  Significant other and or others, included.

Significant other“, what exactly does this mean?  Straight-up, no chaser, okay I can do this.  It signifies another of supreme importance within your primary rotation inclusive of two.  So, if they are important you should also realize, unlike “Serg”, that when stepping to another it’s isn’t about what ‘cha need so much as.  Is she satisfying the want which attracted you in the first place.

Serg, Sergei, whoever he was, really didn’t know Wifey to be when first layin’ eyes on her.  He did know what he saw from a physical point.  Booty attracted.  Compelling his to do anything to, “have her his way“.  So, significant you say?  Not in the beginning and even if so, to who and to what degree?  And…  If you’re somebody trapped in this mystical fallacy that says when you’re feelin’ another to any degree you’ve gotta come correct as in truthful.  I offer you a stupid look following the word; Please.

Real Talk, Wifey, after say, the second time around, more than likely felt some sense of artificial guilt.  Broke down, feelin’ communicative, told him about past life’s and affairs.  Secretly hopin’ this would be one of those defining moments where truth would be held in high esteem.  Again, this is movie stuff.  Far from cynical but, she’d been better off buying a lottery ticket and tellin’ everybody she was the winner before the winner was even announced.  “Why?”  Because.  People, depending on their sex, factor in and think differently when hearing or witnessing anything.  Sergei, “male”, hearing what he did, would have still re-acted and performed with what he’s doin’ right now.  Mentally after Wifey dropped this on him went into immediate comparison analysis.  Auto-tune kicked completely in.  Emotions of a third kind was the fuel feeding his energy.  Demands from a psychological level forced him to run with this revelation.  Equation arrived at.  Porn Star!  With his imaginary thoughts of what he’d do with one if and when he’d get the slightest possibility or chance.  And…  Blow the hell out of his supposedly rational conclusions regarding who and what she was about.  Nothing remotely associated with truthfulness.

Sergei was “all twisted up in The Game“, exactly like most who haven’t a clue as to why situations and circumstances usher into one’s life.

Not to make this personal, but…  Hell, everything is personal and anybody who say’s it isn’t, they’re a liar.  With me, I know someone who spent some time in the Convent.  Habits and penance were in her future.  When she shared this to me, explaining that if she never saw me again, what was would be enough to sustain her forever.  I just looked at her.  It was good I had lived the life I had before encountering her.  Because…  No No, I won’t go there.  Just say no matter how many Hail Marys’, Acts of Contrition concluding with 5 Our Fathers I would have been made to recite after the fact.  I’d move straight to the front of the line for my next life of eternal damnation.

Convent, Nun in the mix.  Woman in possession of the triple threat body.  “Naivety” being her book of choice.  “Won’t stop, can’t stop…  It would have been all about the mash.”  When He or She comes likes this, it’s akin to enjoying an all day Lolly-Pop.

Point is.  Mode2Me was in full effect.  I knew when she and I met it was all about the hunt.  Initial attraction, all based on the physical.  Good for her and I during this initial encounter.  I knew the physical was beauty and running skin deep.  Peel back those layers, enjoy the unexpected delights, and.  With her, I quickly realized more and more deep down delectable’s.  Possibilities of a life defined while explored.  And with someone I could really see myself vibin’ with for quite a long time.  Still, in the recesses of my diabolical mind I knew this was a test and no matter how I love to test the Tester, one thing held factual.  Do I mess with her mind, defile “The Rose” and expect “The Gardener” to give me a pass once all is said and done?  Nope.  Wasn’t happening.  Not when knowin’ The Rose spent some time in The Gardner’s private garden.

Sergei my man, what can I say.  The importance shouldn’t be placed on what Wifey did.  The reality was, Wifey confided.  If anything he should be terrified of himself after the ignorance displayed when Wifey stepped to him with her truth.  Wifey was, and probably will always be, committed to him.  And don’t think she doesn’t know he wasn’t worthy of such a…  Delicious Apple.

Be it He or She, FOLK are always seeking validation on someone.  Forgetting that they have a past too.  If and when a past is revealed, most are way too occupied in what those on the outside will say once the word is out on who they are with.  Well ‘uck you Serg and naw on this!

What if.  What if your insecurities spawn from the basis of you knowin’ fully well  that where Wifey is comin’ from, is an area you damn well know you can’t compete with.  Somethin’ else.  Wifey, after all these years of faithfulness, told you a ‘lil about her secret past life and now…  Now you have to deal with the fact that you may not have known shit in relations to what she’d been exposed to, and…  Even though she said it, the real was you never did take her anywhere remotely close to the stage of satisfaction.

Sergei, if and when you check this out and.  Don’t even act like you won’t.  Don’t go commercial and start hatin’ on me.  You knew I was deep in my Mode2Me when you brought up this part of your life.  A full working knowledge was what you possessed.  Understanding of me professionally, prior to seeking me out for Intel on what you should do with…  Ex porn star Wifey.  Okay, now for the next fact.  She’s your Wifey.  She wasn’t messed up in the head when she came to you and you surely know that you weren’t “like that“.  Superstar Extraordinaire when you all first got it goin’ on.

So.  With that said, recognize this.  If you can’t uphold your end of any agreement, even if parts of that agreement don’t reveal themselves until you are deep into The Game, then.  You weren’t Game Tight from the beginning.  You were way outta your league.

Psssss; Whatever it is, handle it.  This is Holiday.  No time for madness and assumptions on what may have been.  It is!  Besides, allowing the thoughts and feelings of others to cloud your beliefs, ain’t gonna change a ‘thang.  Other than…  Your loss and…  You’ve got it….. their gain.  Holiday, rich or ‘po, if someone is there you can’t ask for more.