Archive for September, 2011


Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 16, 2011 by ichas8440

Thought ‘cha got away…

With the rise of each sun, I am still amazed at what’s really left to be done.  In fact I happened to be listening to someone as they unfolded a tale about all the mis-communications taking place in this world, and…  As I sat there I didn’t have to pushin’ it to see that who was talkin’ had an agenda.  Did this conclusion create one of those “bright idea moments”?  Nope, we all have an agenda!

In my line of professional endeavors I can’t help but peek at all the Intel out there about the personal issues between He&She.  The most recent crafted around the revelations concerning Caroline Kennedy and those now famous words stated by America’s Ex-first lady Jacqueline Kennedy.  A woman held in reverence by those who assumed they knew her, despite of never being invited to the White House or…  Being “that fly on the wall” as she contemplated and spoke about her closely held views of life.  Today with the release of those words which were locked away for decades, not only is America trippin’ on what was left behind, but…  Caroline’s kids, Jackie’s Grandchildren are said to be horrified by what those words suggest while painting a picture of moms aka G.M. .

For those not knowin’ JKF was an everyday guy even though he was the Pres. of America.  He loved life and the ladies were included in his loves.  Extra-marital engagements weren’t anything new to Jacqueline were JFK was concerned, and…  She even decided to “dip in someone else’s pool” just to let JFK know, a woman can do it too.

So goes that extremely well designed world of America’s Ex First Family and supposedly western worlds Camelot.  With all this stuff going around about extra-curriculum between the union of He&She, everyone is saying marriage is on the rocks.  50% of those making that connection are moving to the big D way before the point of the 7 year itch begins to affect all that’s goin’ on.  Am I surprised?  Astonishment is for those believing in the hype.

America has such a twisted belief about life between He&She ‘til collectively they expressed mortification about another.  Dominique Strauss Kahn better known by his initials “DSK” and his quickly filed then equally dismissed sexual assault allegations.  To add salt to this already sour concoction America couldn’t stand that wifey remained loyal regardless of what had been said about…  DSK.

Lovin’ to read I came across the statements creating the book titled “Rogue” written by Joe McGinniss which is about Sarah Palin.  Yeah another one put on a pedestal but now it is said that she had a penchant for African-American men when it was time for sexual activity.  Sarah is married and has been, the story about her sexual fantasies isn’t sayin’ shit.  What is real is how she hoodwinked America as she was allegedly vetted for a run at the Vice Presidency of America and that she wasn’t what she had been presented to be.  Amazing how I get all this out of just a ‘lil bit of that, hun? Not in the least.

Remember John Edwards who also ran for a greater position than Sarah but at the same time?  He was the one who got busy with someone not his wifey while running for the nomination to seek the Presidency of the U.S. and…  Was crafty enough to keep it outta the publics mind despite the affaire with this non-wifey woman producing a child all while campaigning!

Campaigning; excellent choice of words.  Recall the name Pat Robertson?  Think 700 Club and Christian broadcasting.  Now you’ve got him.  His wife Alzheimer being clinically confirmed has made him…  And with the most sympathy he could project, go public with his decision to divorce the bed ridden woman.  His explanation is that she will be fully cared for and…  What really is goin’ on here is the man and his cowardice.  Baby (reads his wifey) is down and know the good ‘ol boy is out.

Truth Be Told, all Pat has to provide to whomever he’s intending to get with once this divorce is concluded will be based on finances.  My point…  I’m still at it so don’t start alleging sensory overload.

In my quest for further understanding…  Clarity of all this that I find interesting I happened to engage a woman who is a Psychic.  Oh not for me, she wanted to discuss how she can increase her funds so she can enjoy a better life.  I know, a total contradictory situation given she tells others how to better their lives, but…  Like the doctor who treats themselves and on their death-bed says, “I shouldn’t have done it now look what I’ve done to myself”, well.  She was in her right mind to come talk with me.  The prob. was she skipped the part of doing her due diligences in understanding whom it was she approached with the Drama.  I listen but I hear even better while listening.

The Psychic had exciting illusions of starting a program focused on empowering women.  When I asked her who was her audience she quickly corrected me by removing my word “audience”, replacing it with the operative word market.  That’s what I had concluded in listening to her, motivations; all financial.  The word market confirmed that.  Relentlessly she spoke with a tone and cadence identifiable in women opposed to men.  She even said to me she didn’t need a man for a damn thing.  Sex or otherwise and…  Her plan was to empower other women who attended her seminars by showing them that they could be just like her!  Mind set locked on divisionalism?  Yes, in the sense that she was the mother of two…  Daughters who didn’t arrive based on that theory known as an immaculate conception.  Meaning there was a man between those thigh and not just twice.  When I inquired as to why she was so negative about men she said, “I’m not, they just look at all that I have and want it”.

Sometimes we all need a witness to the things we aren’t so sure about and this is one of those times.  Let me be the witness, I mean.  Who better capable and…  Qualified.  “How, how are you qualified?”  I am so glad this is what you were thinking and yes.  I do read minds.

I’ve said many times before this Blog is merely another of my many outlets.  Once my memoirs were completed I needed to confirm the contents, so I went on a local hunt, (reads demographics research).  Engaging FOLK to read excerpts from “cali The Red Light Special”.  Once they did, successfully I’d place a 20 question doc in their hands so that I could know their genuine feelings beyond those typical replies about content, composition, pace and theme of what it is they’ve just devoured.  What I concluded was women wanted more, much much more.  Immediately these women contacted me for a ‘lil one to one.  I wasn’t naïve but, it was no way I saw ‘em coming.  Right, once they read what I wrote, they were…  I wanna say motivated to find out more about the author but the real was, my content and prose created a vibe founded in lust.  When these “FaceTime” situations occurred if not on the initial meeting then soon after, their ulterior motives came rushing forth.  Like The Phoenix they were impressive.  Validation happened, I was hooked.  I like the responses and all-consuming involvement but on this local level the demographics weren’t enough to tell solidify anything viable.  The jump to regional was made.  Same results.  Fermentation happened followed by me sampling my own product.  Yes, they had me.  I had created another source and the good thing was, I owned this one.

IM (instant messaging) followed.  This preceded cryptic messages suggesting I set-up private chat lines for un-interrupted convo lasting into all hours of the day and night.  Those talks leading to intensely stimulating discussions with people I hadn’t any clue of what their actual motivation was.  Yes, I bit and they stuck the hook in deeper.  I was in fully aphrodisiac mode.   I had discovered that unidentifiable equivalent to Crack.  Denial was futile I accepted my fate, drinking while slurpin’ from my own source, but…  At this juncture it still wasn’t enough.  I was intoxicated.  Couldn’t sleep at night and my days, images of grandeur were all that was in my mind.  I went national, underground but national none the less.  Nobody could tell me I wasn’t Gold.

Well not really.  More so I was fascinated by the many females who got at me while slyly maintaining a decorum conforming to my questionnaire already in hand.  When we did meet, they would flip the script and move straight into that personal zone.  If she was Mary I submitted and went where she told the lamb to go.  Played them while they played with me.  Wives, mistresses, it didn’t matter, they came, absorbed more of my words and…  We rendezvous.  Night, day, between meetings, flight layovers when meetings that would determine the rising or shrinking of their pay check were on the line.  Potential decline of their lifestyles didn’t stop ‘em, nothing mattered.  Time was consumed and what was lost to the firms they worked for, wasn’t an issue.  They couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop, even if I decided to drop, it had to be on where we were concerned.  All that mattered was meeting the guy who they had read about.  Gettin’ together with who they had imagined wrote and lived this life they only dreamed existed.

Oh, did I forget to mention the males?  Husbands whose wives asked them to come talk to me in hopes hubby would acquire something.  Anything that would allow for the re-igniting of their lives!  Yes, all types showed up.  Restaurant Managers, Sports club members and an occasional owner here and there.  Bankers, Plumbers, all types, they didn’t discriminate.  They came but…  They didn’t want anything other than to know when they could put what I knew to use.  How could they ditch wifey while skippin’ out with the mistress.  Basically following the wifey’s suggestion but…  Steppin’ to me with an ulterior motive.  They came to play on my mind under the guise of really wanting to make it better between them and theirs.

Was I fooled?  Did they hoodwink me while bamboozling me, demanding that I provide ‘em with an excuse to mislead any female who had committed to ‘em?  I take the fifth!

I’ve had females come to my home, wine and dine with my FAM and theirs.  Fake the funk with the eventual sending of their FAM home when afterwards.  Waiting, calculating every minute that passed ‘til my girl fell asleep and…  They did things I knew they had in ‘em but refused to see.  Freaks?  Oh yes.  Was I a part of their families demise?  Really, it was during these scenes that I confirmed who I was.  Oh, not to them but to myself.  I had always known I was “Alpha”, and I’d never had any qualms suppressing this characteristic if…  If it furthered my agenda.  “He sounds ulterior, as if he became a huge part of the prob?  Don’t get me started.

Who are you?  Why did we move here?  I didn’t sign up for this?

Three questions all coming from the same place.  Originating within the mind where they’ve been hidden since the beginning, awaiting the day when they would rule the consciousness of He or She who expressed them, but…  Only whispered when those who said ‘em were done.  Finished with what and whom they started this clandestine activity with!

In any line of work there will be a time when one has to “de-brief” or as I say “dial it down” because if you don’t.  With the demands of the job you’re bound to get caught up while succumbing to the temptations of life.  In the realm of consulting it is no different than one coming from the automotive industry or for that matter, any endeavor of professional activity.  This situation is known as “transference”.  This means being so engaged you fail to remain objective.  You start seeing the activity as not of you and in the process fantasize on the fantastical images of whatever it is you are witnessing and want in.  You are in and dive. Disregarding all that you know you know but refuse to see.

Those names previously mentioned all confirm two realities to me.  Power & Position have very little to do in motivating someone into a compromising situation.  What is needed is a strong belief in self with the other party being a willing accomplice.  Dedicated in doin’ what they do without too much prodding by the perceived stronger one.

I’ve had mentors in management whom I’ve shared “treats of the treasures” with sheepishly ask that I weave a tale, convincing their significant others that it was me and not “Boss”.  It was me who purchased the roses, secured the hotel room and made “Boss” reach into their pockets, extract the credit card so I could run out and get all this purchases on “Boss’ card because…  It was me and not Boss, (delivered with a face resemblance of any Academy Award performance).  And ya know what, I recall all this like it was yesterday and I’m still not mad at Boss or those events I participated in or mentioned.  Why?

Remember I told y’all “This is what I do”?  No matter who was involved with me, I’ve always had someone who I could “dial it down” too.  Re-gain my sanity without intrusion.  Jada & Will Smith, J Lo & Marc Anthony, I didn’t fail to bring them back into play for this piece but.  Like them along with countless others, these are Western Societies pillars of perfection.  And…  When they find out their shit stanks too, what do they do?

Caroline’s family secrets, did she really believe Moms didn’t have another side to her?  DSK, he isn’t being made to address those allegations, so what.  Sarah Palin is now in print with allegations of being a lot trampish.  What else is new.  It is written that she slept with an NBA star while she was dating her to be hubby and was pregnant before she got married.  The standing joke is she prefers dark meat, is that surprising?  Image, both public and private is crafted by the best of ‘em.

Talking about the things I do, watching people, engaging people.  All this has been inspiring, exciting and…  Quietly erotic to tell you the truth.  When I read the stories, news releases, special alerts of those named, I can actually read between the lines no matter the story.  And…  I feel good.  Good because it only confirms that there is no real reason to put anyone on “Baaa-laa-sssst”.  People, and forget about the social/economic walks they come from, will always put themselves out there given the right amount of time.  Once they do and the public picks it up, the same public who loves to remain un-suspecting.  Sorta’ standing around kicking invisible rocks saying “oh, I didn’t know that”, then…  When the media keeps pushing the story the same public suddenly seems to know what to do.  They begin publicly adding their spin.  Vindication if you will.

Lastly, there is me, “Yours Truly”.  Jackie-O, John Edwards, Bill Clinton, even tricky Bill Cosby from back in the day to, Michael Richard & Adam Sandler of that infamous situation with the model Lanisha Cole.  None of ‘em have anything on…  You, you and you!  What they have is.  Forgiveness of that un-suspecting public because it is the public that assumes the stresses of the public eye are so all-consuming ‘til.  F#^K that!  Everybody is stressed.  Maybe I’ll open up one of those day Spas.  Celebs. Everyday People, anyone can come and un-wind as they de-stress. But then again, everybody will probably show up, look listen while watchin’ one another just so they can say; “I told you so, that Mutha’ F#^ka wasn’t shit in the first place”.

Psssss; When two meet and one acts as if they haven’t any idea what the other is thinking; don’t ‘cha believe it.  You see people are just a more sophisticated animal than the ones swinging from trees.  They know who they are, where they’ve been and what they were doin’ when they were last there.  They know that if words are spoken about ‘em and they have the power.  If they know their position is like that, then all they have to do is revert.  Bark or growl in a way of speaking.  One done they will have reduced the flow of the psychological fire and ward off what is comin’.  To all of those who point the finger.  Really you aren’t even worth the…  “Baaa-laa-sssst”.



Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , , , , on September 2, 2011 by ichas8440

Chops, what images come to mind when this word is heard?  Thinking meat?  Focus way too narrow, I have a suggestion.  Expand your imagination increasing the depths of perception.  “Chops, hummm, let me see, if I say that I’ll probably date myself, but…”  Okay, good consideration even if you’re limiting yourself.  Try this, don’t concern yourself with thoughts of your age, it’s nothin’ but a number.

Chops like many words come with various applied meanings, all depending on the culture of origin.  In your case, “Chops” isn’t used by me to define a mad man skilled in the art of Tommie-gun usage.

Those who are willing to explore the foggy depths of consciousness while visions of the latest version of ultra-clubs comes into scope along with images of patrons morphing into clarity while evaporating just as quickly.  You are partially on the right road to the connection mentally illustrating images of Chops!  As well, seeing you’re in the ultra-club mode, and I followed, let’s bring into focus things noir.  Oh…  While doin’ so, drop the generic violent characterization associated with the same but…  You may allow for the mysterious component coming with all things noir.  That, I’m cool with.

As I was contemplating the designs of this universe I happened to noticed someone watching me.  Although she; oh yeah, personal sensitivity head trips aside, I don’t do same-sex.  Had this observer who was stealing my energy been another guy who kept me in the focus of his eye, believe me I would have changed the viewer’s perception immediately.

Like I said, she was watchin’ me with those intensely inviting, mentally provocative eyes, implying ways she could only imagine.  And, doing that occasional hair toss accordingly.  Sorta’ like one of those Althea Adams prose, “I don’t care how you get there just get there when you can”.  Un-be-knowing to her, I had already been there while watching her demean her mate over and over again.  Demanding that he “fetch” her things and…  When he did so with head bowed, shuffling his feet with each step he made in the sand, she never was satisfy.  Yet, “Herman”, did and without complaint.  All this compliance was relaxing to my mind as it solidified my choice of personality traits that I’d accepted long ago as my preference in being me!

Un-scripted Herman and I appeared at the same moment over to one of the boardwalk vendors, and he…  Yes, I seldom start convo so yes, he started this one.  Herman smiled and engaged me in a simple exercise of male to male communications about how we men do what we do when it comes to our women.  I listened, vanquishing invisible flying objects out of my air space, but…  Herman soon got my message and realized I didn’t give and credence to his bullshit.  This entire exercise was his way towards re-establish his manhood in the eyes of those he’d assumed; watched.

I don’t do appeasement so Herman, in his assumption believing I was listening to him, waiting for that audible pause where sound suspends and one can “exchangin’ cards” because of some kindred spirit thing.  He was fooliln’ himself.  Herman was whipped, Gameless and…  To put it in layman terms, no copping skills.  Herman was a Lackey.

The word Lackey much like Chops shouldn’t be open to any sort of interpretation, just as this term I hear slung freely today.  Used by so called women with alleged “swagger”, “Turn me out Daddy”.  Turn me out should not and can’t be flipped to fit the times.  Just as “bitch” isn’t some super descriptive term, fittingly applied in recognition of a woman who welds power and…  Re-conformed to apply to the connivin’ creatures assigned to the female lot also!  Herman, in his quest to be obliging had become lost in his wonderment of the pleasures of a woman, and in his psychological confinement, settled.  Yes, I surmised all of this outta one casual encounter.  A simple scenario taking place on a seashore, reconfigured while inserting some of what I knew of FOLK and came up with this.

Fear is best described as “False Evidence Appearing Real”.  Herman was counterfeit.  Created something out of another things that was only real to him.  He allowed his woman way too many privileges resulting in her own, fractured reality where he had been reduced to an object.  Sexist comin’ up again?  No, this is a result of knowing ones place.

People in their attempt to fit in usually go for anything, and…  As I contemplated Herman’s woman’s’ advances.  Yeah, did you think I didn’t!  In that moment of “slippage”…  Okay, maybe a case of temporary lust like you’re thinking but…  It wasn’t difficult to assess she was the type to approach, play polite while gathering Intel on whomever she set her eyes on.  After enjoying the pleasures sought, remove her self from the situation all the while blaming it all on the person she engaged!

Ladies & Gents, I am Chops.  I can talk the talk and walk the walk.  In my explorations of this world I’ve discovered that it is I who will quickly be labeled.  Is this reason to complain?  No, recall as you dial it down, I am Chops.

Chops could imply meat-eater, which I like.  Chops can and does signify a choice cut.  I stand accepting each positive definition.  In all words where voice can be established, Chops conjures up an image of the one who is verbally precise and…  Visually stimulating to the point of placing another into anything.  Usually zones of enchantment.   Much like women who engage, enjoy realizing they themselves are overmatched, followed with a frantic outsourcing for that standard rescue.

Where I’m concerned, when women blame me for any of their faults, I see it as out classed and inasmuch, maybe I shouldn’t have set my sights so low.  Also, that is maybe why I’ve passed on so many I’ve met even on the tiny secluded stretch of sand along the fogged-in cove, creating the inlet in which I encountered Herman along with his significant other.

Hummm, “angry bird?  No, that’s an app best found on smartphones for those who find themselves with way too much time on their hands.  I fly high, but…  No angry bird.  Recently an Ex power couple “Marc Anthony & Jennifer Lopez” split.  Comin’ outta the clouds Marc Anthony made a statement to the media saying, “The marriage no longer worked”.  This was so profound.  Two people, speaking the same language but of different culture upbringings, sophisticated enough to call it the way it was.  Avoiding what was wanted of those on the outside looking in.  Whoa.

In maintaining a relationship between He&She you’ve gotta respect the subtle differences between “domination and decency”.  To keep the relationship live you’ve gotta know when to domination while exercising your power base and not diss your significant other.  Despite the two of you coming from different camps the vibes are the same or similar.

Something y’all need to know.  Collective I’ve received e-mails saying I am full of myself.  The correct personality classification would be narcissistic, and…  Like I responded then I do so now, I like it.  Many of you don’t know me and only have impressions of whom & what I’m about.  Still, when you go to a Therapist they have ways in which to lead you to see yourself so that you may better appreciate yourself while re-learning to live with yourself.  Yeah, I said it and yes I know that previously I defined therapist in a not so positive light.  My point is, live, grow and if you wanna advance.  Accept that some things cannot be left in their initial classification.  But…  I am still Chops.  The definition will remain constant, especially when and if you allow for the expansion of the origin of the root definition!

Psssss; I think now that I’ve “re-charged” I will go into realms many may cring from but…  Well, stay tuned because “Blast” may become a series.  In anticipation, don’t even think about assuming who will and won’t be featured.  Remember, Chops?  Well in channeling all those characters in arriving at where I’m at today.  Everybody is suspect.