Archive for May, 2010

“Why Does A Man Cry”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags on May 27, 2010 by ichas8440

“Like the sexy woman said to the seemingly common man; “You’ve got this”; Yeah I’ve got this!”

Tears run because all the fun appears ’bout done.  The Bentley has been repossessed along with the cancellation of the American Express.  The Black card at that.  Something he wouldn’t let ‘cha leave home without.  And you ask, why does a man cry?

Those objects were there because they were your desires, material things that you needed to live a ‘lil bit higher.  Hey, take a look in the mirror, recognize yourself and nobody else.  Your decision to get with him who now sheds tears was partially based on what he could do in the way of providin’ those things you held dear.

Actually I don’t blame you as I Am Man and I don’t want a woman who accepts a man only to allow him to sit around with a bunch of go no where silly ass clowns, sippin’ on palm wine complaining about past achievements and ridiculous crimes.  Still, it begins with you.  Tears flow and I thought you’d at least know all those things acquired in the first place were to please you.  Right, most men are minimalist.  Oh, “he, we”, get all bent outta shape when you say it’s over.  Lockin’ down everything that around, but…  That is so you will listen once again as his true and ‘posedly devoted friend.  Hearing his plea’s of one who’s been knocked to his knees.  You never knew that a big butt with a smile would keep him around way longer than that house you could see for miles.  I say be lucky that you have a man who can cry because at least he’s not whimpering.

Sudden mental misque?  Don’t worry, I’ve got ‘cha. You know the type I speak of.   That person who when things fall apart within their world they curl up while mumblin’, “what am I gonna tell my girl”.  Un hum, forgetting that before the crash all he wanted to see was the sway of your tight ass.  Never once consulting you about the things “he do”.  Now that it’s obvious he can’t handle the fall he won ‘t even attempt to stand strong or tall.  Yet, like the real man who loved to hear you sing, he is now a believer in this ‘oh simplest of things.

Man cry’s because he’s realized all that he thought he mastered was based on an illusion and he can’t deal with the conclusion.  He looks onto you not knowin’ how to explain all this to you.  His world, your world, the one built for two which has now been taken right from under each of you, the end of his…  Dynamic duo.

Man cry’s because finally he’s figured it all out but as time has passed he has to contemplate if there is energy to re-engage and…  “Do what he do”, that is…  Without jeopardizing you!

Again take a look at you.  All those things that have been acquired disappearing as if they’ve been consumed by fire.  Goin’ up in smoke leaving him with little hope.  To him they were just things, yet…  What were they to you?  The other half of this…  Dynamic duo.

When a man cries be thankful that he does because those tears are not of fear but released in recognition of the one he hold near.  They flow because he knows if anything; He Is Man!  One willing to take that stand.  Rising to the occasion, securing another reservation so that you won’t go into…  Total consternation.

Psssss; I’ve cried, so what!  “Woman” compounds this dismal state in which she’s found her man to have lapsed into because she assumes the mentality of the status quo.  I’ve cried because I didn’t want to lose what I had acquired which was she who stepped to me.  I’ve cried because it was of her that I came and it would be because of her that we remained.  Tears descend from us all.  It isn’t those tears that will make any real man fall.  When a man cries it isn’t because of any failures encountered but because the man finding himself with an inability to say, “I’ve let you down”.

“Help…”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags on May 19, 2010 by ichas8440

Do you know what a Symbolist does?  I didn’t know what it was or what they did either.  Luckily I had the pleasure of meeting someone who does this.  Much like a true to life Indiana Jones a Symbolist has extreme knowledge in the recognition, identification and deciphering of meanings that appear in symbols.  It was during my down time that I happened to encounter one while exploring the canyons above my home.

As I stood above these drawings etched out all over the cliff walls, I finally had someone who knew how to explain what it was I was looking at.  Prior to this point I always viewed these ancient designs as…  Well, ‘ol school graffiti.  Whoa, way off!  Petroglyphics would be the correct term of what appeared on the limestone walls.  Drawings with some being actual rock carvings, all mediums telling the story of a people, their culture and environments.  Yea, my Symbolist could get this from knowing what the symbols meant.  I had been on a singular level while the Symbolist went way deeper.

“So, how can I help you with your relationship”

Let’s start at the beginning.  Looking for generic advice?  Go find one of those wanna be experts.  I specialize, a Specialist isn’t into generic anything.  To help another the one sought out to provide assistance must have precise knowledge of…  What’s real as in the actual dynamics of the union “you” have sought them out for consultation of.  In seeing the need to address what you feel is all messed up, you’ve gotta come correct.  Not just speaking while offering your version of what is!  Its like this, your spin is ok, but…  With a Specialist they see the true picture way before you put in your coloring and it has nothing to do with pre-judging.  It’s all about the preparations towards readiness.  Remember back in another blog I touched on the differences between being prepared and ready?  Follow me down this Yellow Brick Road and don’t assume anything ’til…  Well, just read and follow, read and follow.

The phone was on vibrate.  Because I was enjoying my meal the tingling sensation would subside momentarily as the phone would eventually be answered automatically by my service.  Meal done and a tasty one if I say so myself, I glanced down to review my message.  It wasn’t a text but a voice mail.  Her words were, “Help Me”.  Since I was no longer that Very Very Bocacious Guy but now the guy who went good, there was no way I was gonna delete this short message without…  Yes, I got back to the caller immediately.

Number in, phone ringing, we went through the quick formalities of exchanging names.  The messenger who left the previous message went deeper this time.  Her descriptive adjectives conveyed much.  “Help, I feel like I’m in a large bottle.  the cap is on.  Water is filling the bottle & I’m almost to the point where the water is at the base of my lips.  Please come quick!”

Don’t ‘cha just love the metaphors?  I do and completely understood the hidden meanings.  Here, allow me to transcribe.

“Large bottle”, an environment.  “Cap is on”, somewhere I thought I recognized but I’m in a very foreign situation.  “Water is filling the bottle”, I thought it was water but I quickly found out it wasn’t.  “At the base of lips”, in way too deep.  “Come quick”.  This is the best part of the encryption because it conveys so much about the actual state of this person’s being.

“Come quick”, she must be kidding.  She’s calling because of  her involvement in a relationship that previously satisfied some mysterious desire.  Now that she’s tasted that forbidden fruit she realizes she must abort mission and eject, but…  She knew this before she found herself in so deep ’til now…  Her fate is being sealed which…  Accounts for the substance she thought was water that is quickly closing close, to the base of her lips, (reads mouth).  A mouth that will soon to be silenced.  Shut permanently by the one she thought she knew but really didn’t know who now has no intentions of letting her go.  “It’s okay, I do this and fully understand that you don’t wanna just come out and say what is really goin’ on.”

In today’s world you can be with whomever you chose to be with.  Prob. #1, you forgot to consider that once you step out of your defined comfort zone it becomes a situation that is no longer all about you.  Big mistake, huge mistake.  Read this and think water.  Then see the oil seeping in with droplets of vinegar being added at a point in which you hadn’t even considered before you joined in the ride.

“Hey, he got all that out of this!  What if it’s just about two different cultures?” Good point, I can do this too.

Mixing races is cool, just don’t forget the blend that develops when you associate those two cultures.  Let’s do this, you have a person of Danish descent who locks down with one of color.  the two share much and do what they like.  Yet, they live in a world that is not theirs alone.  they are surrounded by Haters.  Those who speak of the non-published history’s of each of their individual past.  Right, planting seeds that will be germinated by human nature.  Society…  They are true pieces of work.  They come with issues and won’t stop ’til they bring you into their issues.  Don ‘t trip, this is what people do.

Oh, so you think you are immune to such a scenario?  You’ve got education and won’t stoop to such ignorance?  live in a quaint community, (reads gated areas).  Or you have that penthouse way up in the high-rise.  Safe zones hun…  Nope, guess again.  I don’t wanna see you being spat upon while believing that lie about it’s just rain, so check this out.  The public at large is way more savage than anyone wants to admit.  When the film drops (When People Attack While Going virtual) don’t miss it.

Now, to stay “in pocket” with this let’s kick it up a couple of digits by adding another factor to consider.  “Moms and Pops”, they  just ain’t hearing your argument about how great your choice in a mate is.  Alright, that is their hang up; so you say.  Welcome to Prob. #2.  Think DNA.  Oh you don’t have to carry the sins of the Father or suffer the faults of the Mother, but it’s in you regardless.  Consider where you were raised.  Was it in a 2 parent home?   Are you of the nevo-gen?  (See raised by extended FAM members or surrogate FAM friends).  Despite of where you may fall within any of these additions, all of this supports a part of your acquired characteristic behavioral make-up.  The point being, everything around you and associated with you creates a connection to you!

This isn’t a complicate thing.  Relationships.  Unions between He&She, marriages along with many of their individual dynamics and collectively displayed traits are easy to understand.  The simplicity is to just accept when you are in a Jungle or find yourself on the deck of a ship that has no Captain in Command.

Mixing cultures, trying out different races, dabbin’ in various religious beliefs in an effort to create your own special blend is cool.  Just remember when you are focused in getting it together the key to succeeding is to know that…  In order to establish your place in this great race, it all begins with the recognition and your independent understanding of the differences that make up this entire planet.

Psssss; Don’t trip, I do this.  Come in Japanese and I know enough about ‘cha to remove my shoes before coming into your home.  Bring it in Black and I really know that all of you don’t do Ghetto.  Make it in White and…  Yes, because of how this whole worldly thing has un-folded, I know that many of you feel entitled.  Sometimes to the point of assuming everybody else wants to be like you all.  But then again, I also have experienced enough of life to know that some of you are way cool and…  Well these are those who have the same swagger as I.  Which means we can do this thing called life together.

I am The 22nd G.  Sometimes I see you even before you get to me.  Peace

I Don’t Wanna Be Friends…

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology with tags , on May 12, 2010 by ichas8440

“What makes a relationship work?” Plenty of sense, but sometimes when you have a lot of  “cents” you also acquire an insight that allows you to recognize it helps in keeping your sense by remaining close friends.  Then again, this is a dynamic within a relationship that only holds true when money was the primary motivator for the involvement from the gate.

So many get together so they may eventually “be together” but their basic nature will not allow them to even venture into that friends category.  Based on this that “after the fact” thing.  You know, the fact where they’ve had that ‘snack” so to speak.  It is at this point that remaining friends is the last thing on their mind.

Many don’t wanna be friends because they were “on deck 1st” and have no interest in giving the hurt they are experiencing now, another chance of re-igniting.  Men,  women, they each feel the same even if they refuse to admit it.  (See Selfishness)

For whatever the cause that created the demise of the relationship, “they” don’t wanna hear it and won’t even consider it.  Pain has manifested itself in ways that occupy areas previously reserved for all things positive.  Now, “YOU” left ’em and that’s all they will recall.  In their mind, “YOU” lied to ’em.  Friendship will never be a part of their vernacular.

Others who fake at sophistication.  Right, those who believe they are above this display of emotion, view this condition as beneath them.  Publicly they do the friend think with a certain style, but…  It’s not a genuine friendship, fakin’ is their forte’ and I can work with this too.  But…  I still don’t wanna be friends after the fact.

This descriptive game plays itself out each and everyday.  People meet, click and soon…  Commit.  Everything is.  “Everything is so beautiful.” No one can tell either of them that the two of them weren’t meant to be.  Where they are concerned its destiny.  A storyline written by the Gods with neither of them knowing why it took so long to encounter the other.  This is great for the Perpetual Romantic, like me.  Which leads to this.

The following is true

It began in the mall.  There she was, strolling silently down the long corridor thinkin’ about what she lost when…  “Ta Da” there I was.  Our eyes locked, she paused.  Her heart went into palpitations.  Momentarily stunned.  Frozen, as her mind replayed visions of our illustrious past.  Okay, the scent of the freshly baked Cina-Bons I was holding could have had some effect but very little if you ask me.

Like I said, her mind flashed to images of yest’ years.  Days of horseback ridin’ with late nights of sippin’ cocktails, sprawled out on our balcony as the rest of the neighborhood slept.  Hey, she hadn’t forgotten the love, nor did I.  But…  Something had happened to me during that long division.  The manly mentality kicked in and I was now…  Him!  He who wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction of discovering she still had my heart.

Hummm, sounds familiar?  Doesn’t matter if you are male or female, these feelings are universal and given the correct circumstances will surface.  Its called life’s experiences absorbed,then rung out.  Personified; as they are used in putting you back together again.

“Still playin’ the part of being coated in Teflon hun?  This is cool too, exactly what people do after the break-up with the one who holds that special friends’ designation.”

Friendship is definitely possible.  Especially if there are ‘lil ones who have appeared by way of the original relationship.  Those innocent ones who need the semblance of FAM for the continuity of their overall development.  I mean, how is a child ‘pose to grow into a seemingly functional adult when their FAM‘s leaders are feuding parents?  Image what they think about the gene pool they’ve spawned from.  In this case, friends are a must.

Friendship is do-able after time has passed and a more relevant mental state has been achieved and sustained.  But other than that…  Stop fooling yourself.

Call me a “Hater”, say that I’m speaking from my insecure, immature side while being serious Stuck On Stupid.  I don’t care.  You see, you aren’t working from a full deck so their are cards missing from your hand.  Remember the scenario I previously laid out to you?  There’s more.

It was after she saw me getting those Cina-Bons.  Rushing over to me with that million dollar smile of hers and she said, “Let’s just get a coffee, talk a ‘lil bit”.  Yeah, I bit alright.  Seduced by her presences while drifting with ease as her eyes teased me while she expressed how much she’d missed a guy.  It was also during this time that underneath the tabletop, an intense session of footsies was headed into overtime.  Damn, she knew how much I loved to feel her toes massaging my left shin.  What…  What was I ‘pose to do?

But…  That’s when it dawned on her and she recalled I was good at holding back cards.  Anger replaced the flow of flurtiness because I seemed…  As she said, “too reserved, unlike before you need to chill”.  Chill, was she insane?

I knew it then and there is no reason to keep it from you ‘all now, the moment I relaxed my defenses, she’d have really launched another drone attack.  Bringing up more stuff just to set me back.  Hey, maybe she wanted to see if she still had that control, I don’t know.  What I do know is I’m always in Stealth mode.  A good thing because…  Like I said, I was on deck 1st and as of that moment she was still on the shelf.  Yes, after the devastation of the separation I decided to keep her there because those memories are what makes me…  Shall I say, mature!

Psssss; On second thought, you really do look good and because I was on deck 1st, let me take credit for “you” becomin’ all you could be.  Now, pass me a pack of that raw sugar and let’s continue to talk about it.  Maybe this friend thing can work.

Psssss, Psssss; Even if you feel that in the past you were burnt, abandon the anger.  Grow in your own prosperity.  Smile at what may appear to be a lost and rise at what is really a chance for you to re-create yourself.  Don’t take it personal.