Archive for February, 2010

Man Cave

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , on February 26, 2010 by ichas8440

“Man Cave”, descriptive term.  Meaning; The private sanctuary for man to…  Prepare for battle!

My man Conte’ was much like Dantes’ Peak.  He was about to blow.  As in the story, his beauty was usually found at a subterranean level.  Presently, he was over saturated by the emotional devastation he said, “Had been all her fault”.

Again, like Dantes’ Peak, he sought a release from the bubblin’ pressures.

His plea for resurrection hadn’t fallen on deaf ears.  The pain registering in him was immediately internalized by me.  The woman who made hm shake in the knees was now…  Of the ranks of the M.I.A..  Her whereabouts unknown and she didn’t appear on anyone’s radar.  But…  If anyone was aware of her presence, it would be Conte’ who felt her pulse.  As he shared this all too familiar tale, I could only sit in silence as I gave him my full attention.

Conte’ didn’t qualify for that elite club known as“The Rich & implosive” nor did he have the foresight to stash something away for that rainy day.  Now, the storm had arrived and for him this was an anticyclone.

Retribution was all he sought.  She had “brought that ass”, now he wanted to kick that ass!  It mattered little that it would be her blood that would be spilled.  It didn’t matter that she was once the vision of his dreams.  The cause of the sparkle which filled his eyes.  Conte’ spun the most Machiavellian ways in which to torture her with the conclusion being…  Dispatching her to his boyz, who would deliver the ultimate disgrace because, as he said.  “This bitch can’t do me like any ‘ol regular.  I got something for her the likes she ain’t even lookin’ for.”

Right, like I said, this was a tale I could feel because…  I’m not afraid to admit it, I’ve been there.  We’ve all been at that threshold known as the fifth phase where nothin’ matters but “YOU”.  Nothin’ matters but beating some ass because in the grand finale’ you’ve been removed as the star of your very own production.  Yet, with me there was a difference.  While contemplated the mental state of Conte’s Ex., knowing that right about now she could be anybody’s because she wanted “some get back” too, and I could be anybody’s.  Well, I knew that my mental lapse in thinking, wouldn’t change a ‘thang.

“Morbid assessments?” Hell no.  “Realistic conclusion?” Yes.  These aren’t primal thoughts but images that dance through mostly everyone’s imagination given the circumstances.  Whether it is admitted or not.  Good thing my ascension was permanent because I could easily have slipped back to those depths, but I knew I coldn’t placate Conte’ by agreeing to mentally engage or participate in the reduction of another human being.

This scene is played out each and every day.  The reality is that you don’t  have to wait on the latest media release to find out about it.  Just observe your surroundings.

Today, I was smooth to the point of identifying Conte’ way before he arrived.  As stated, he wasn’t rich so it was apparent the legal advice that flows freely to those within that group wasn’t available to him.  Those purported benefits of an in-place Palimony Agreement weren’t an option.  Pre-Nuptial, another tool missing from his arsenal.  Nothing there to soften the trauma.  Pretty-much here was someone who stepped off into the woods without knowin’ there were things lurking in the darkness, but…  I wasn’t about to condemn him for ignorance even when…  Professional they use the excuse; Ignorance is no excuse!

Unlike yesterday, life and “The Robber Barons” appear, today, in various forms.  As I listened to Conte, the betrayal experienced which had smashed his belief systems.  Without some serious damage being sent the way of his Ex., he’d have no satisfaction.  What could I do?  What should I say?

Got ‘cha.  That confusion resulting in such rambling thoughts isn’t me.  I knew what to do and I definitely had something to say which was simply; “Why Conte’?’

So she beat you to the courts securing that all-encompassing Restraint Order.  So what!  Once the pain of what she did wears off, you’ll be okay.  Besides, all she did was dig deeper into the bag of tricks you both knew was in the closet!  I didn’t even have to break down the basics of using such a judical tool because he knew the social damaging effect of that instruments was only in his mind.  Forget what the public thinks!  Conte’ spoke to me with his eyes and he expressed agreement.

One other thing I had to touch on was the humiliation delivered to her by his boyz which…  Wasn’t gonna satisfy him only those salivating male associates of his.  I told him about his seeking me out proved that he was beyond that ridiculous point of denial that creates such thoughts.  Hey, Conte’ sighed with relief and concurred for thesecond time.  Now I really like him.  Yes, “Intellect on Demand”, a much better presentation that men & women acting like monkeys throwin’ shit!

Enter My Man Cave

Even though we hadn’t stepped to the Causes and Effects of one’s re-actions based on romantic inclinations I knew this man had skills.  We clanged our shot glasses while listening to the sounds dissipating into the decor of my Man Cave.  Taking this…  Ambience, as a viable condition to touch on why most feminist don’t wanna hear where I’m coming from with regard to relationships between He & She, I continued.  In completing the picture I defined the dominate characteristics of the female participant who plays the role of “Butch”, equating her to those so-called friends of his Ex.  Well, he beat me to the point saying he knew all along they were undercover.  Just there, waiting like hanging bats for the moment to drive that wedge deeper between he and his woman.  For the sake of completion and so we didn’t drift back into darkness, I accepted his points, but…  Added that lesbians are like gay men, if it’s in ’em, it’s a part of them.  Nothing gained or lost as that is their reality.

Pushin’ it forward, I shared with him the fact that if his Ex. listened to them, well…  It wouldn’t be much he could do to counteract their words especially in the state  of mind that comes to one who feels they’ve been psychologically and emotionally abused.  He felt me and understood that the mental disposition of his Ex. wouldn’t allow her to engage with anyone short of those who came with empathy.  The motivations of those who she put on her team, at this point, weren’t a concern.

Whenver anyone is at a loss because of their mis-calculations it is paramount that they retreat.  Back off, think, evaluate and re-organize.  Maybe even throw the model out and come anew.

Men and women many times appear to think differently, yet…  There motivations are similar.  This is based on the society they come up in.  Conte’ was surrounded by a Cesspool and even if he came up for air, he’d still be swimmin’ in filth.

“Man Cave”, I exposed him to the interior of mine.  Now he understood how and where to find solace.

“Man Cave”, a place to become proficient in distinguishing fact from fiction.  Understanding the principles of Class versus Style.

It was here that we digested the differences of having substance of self in relations to just settling for what had been previously accepted as…  Being suitable.  I unveiled to him the realities of knowing what is personal and whatever she did, don’t take it personal even if what they had was deeply personal!  She, like him; re-acted.

In parting Conte’ said that he couldn’t pay for my intervention.  I smiled and knew he had no idea that by the mere usage of the word (intervention) I was paid in full.  Conte’ re-affirmed my belief in our ability to change in spite of the…  Fire inside!

Psssss; Yes, it would have been great to “get dat ass of his Ex.”, but which is better.  Rising to the occasion or failing because of the condition of your inability of comprehension!

Thinking Man

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology with tags , on February 20, 2010 by ichas8440

Friday Feb. 19th, 2010 and the world gave a collective sigh of relief all in anticipation that someone was coming forth with what had been demanded of them for what seemed like weeks.  No, let’s make that months.  Yes, that much time has eclipsed the mind since someone found themselves upside down, trapped…  Within the confines of their Caddie; Escalade that is.  Locked in while another on the same scene bashed in the windows with a golf club.  Okay, the public admission was made and letmesee.  “What did you gained?”

Tiger Woods along with his wife live in an exclusive club.  One that many dream of participating within, but…  The reality is, these same FOLK have little or no chance of ever becoming intimately associated with that level of life.  No prob. they still clamor for the details, salivating as they wait…  For they news of his words.  Minnows I guess.

Professionally the admission given by Tiger is ‘pose to be a part of his “cleansing process” for his allegedly transgressions.  A rebirth so to speak.  One of the basic components of most 10 step to 12 step programs is that one must realize and accept their responsibilities of the (self) in order to see how they are affecting those around them.  This realization is said to lead that person to not wanna go ‘uck up again.  Now, for the purpose of clarification, who is actually benefiting by the public performance of an apology?

To know the answer you have to initially understand the world of product placement in relations to marketing.  Tiger is a brand, a brand attaches itself or lends itself to a product, and…  This is for the sole purpose of moving that product.  Sorta’ like back in the day when a brand was placed on cattle signifying that when you saw these items together you knew you’d be getting the best.  Tiger’s brand is not marriage or communications.  Those who “handle” him are not about a happy home or unity between He&She so who’s branding who?

John and Jane Q. Citizen have lapsed into a coma or something if they think that they assimilate with the likes of Tiger Woods or his wife.  Then again, maybe, John and Jane are so ‘ucked up themselves ’til they only dream of a life and liv, through the eyes of others.  (See, The Most Interesting Man In The World commerical)

Apoligies are fantastic.  Apologies are genuine when given from the heart with the full understanding that the apology is exclusively meant for the one who was harmed.  And…  If by change the apology cannot reach the one who has been hurt because they have been spirited away by other types of “handlers” who have intercede because again they know best.  Maybe it is okay to go high-tech and blast your words via a public media.  But other than that, the public apology all comes down to another show for the masses.  Benefiting only the marketers.  Remember, you aren’t in Tiger’s life other than that of a spectator.  Oh, spectator got ‘cha upset.  Well who’s lookin’ in whose window hopin’ to catch a glimpse of what’s goin’ on in another house when it is usually the spectator whose house is a mess!

There was once someone of the cloth, (see religious leaders) who always found time to counsel others about the temptations imposed upon men & women.  It is said that this person was very dramatic during the presentation of these beliefs.  Okay, it goes without saying because to come with passion regarding what it is you speak of, one must have some deep personal connections to the subject matter that they deliver so ferociously.  Anyway, when the person of the cloth was busted by the wife who didn’t question him about his “publicly known transgressions” it was the person of the cloth who felt like a fool.  You see, while he was out paying all the attention to those who sought his attention, she decided to completed her own “re-mix”.  She had needs and because he didn’t take cared of his own house, she found someone who would.  And…  When he asked why she wasn’t being like everybody else, damning him to hell for his stupid ass actions she calmly stated.  “Why…  Why waste the energy?  This is my life, not your’s or any of the members of our church.  This is my life!  I’d be as silly as you if I felt outsiders were gonna change or make me a better person.  It starts with me honey!”

When I was made privy to her belief system I knew that here was a Thinking Woman who happened to have a non-thinking man.  It was then that I understood what it meant to become a Thinking Man!

Psssss; Simply said.  You get what ‘cha give.  “‘uck up, shut up, then have the courage to stand up.  This is the only way you’ll ever be up, because everybody else will only try to keep you down by maintaining what you did and watching it flow all around.”

Office Romance, “We’re Baaaaack”

Posted in Communications, psychology, Relationships with tags , on February 10, 2010 by ichas8440

Something I hear with frequency is, “Is it okay to date someone who works with you?”

Another way this same question has been phrased goes like this.  “We had one of those office parties and, well, you know.  What do I do now?”

Truth Be Told, I don’t have an answer as far as the second way this situation has come to me but what I do know is.  “If the booty has moves you to wanna perform your duty, you’d better be ready.”

“I’m talkin’ ready which is totally different than being prepared.” In the workplace there are so many dynamics at play you’d better know how to “play” ’cause the hidden factors.  Those un-defined variables will crush you every time.

One to consider is about the person of your attraction.  Are they beyond your pay scale?  If this is the case what are you gonna do when that persons’ peers chime in, telling them not to engage outta their class.  Their peers don’t care about you as much as they care about how the situation is gonna reflect on them.  Oh yes, don’t think that there isn’t a distinction based on class.

Also, is the person you wanna get with of a different race, cultural, etc. etc .etc..  Do they drive a high-end vehicle while you are worried about the cost of gas alone.  Right, tight with money not because you don’t have it, but…  You really don’t have it like them, which…  Even if not mentioned is definitely in the minds of both of you.

Now, calm down and breath.  It’s great when you feel the need to inhale the speed that comes with the arrival of attraction of another, but…  When you approach this level of activity you have to exam the real with regard to what is pulling you to wanna engage.  And as you know with me, I won’t allow any of you to get it twisted.  If your attraction is just a case of chasing booty, male or female, it doesn’t change the basic dynamics.  It is the physical that comes into play when you initially began to pull the pieces together towards qualifying the attraction.  Each representative of the species has that behind.  The word (booty) is merely a metaphor!

What about Boss?  Unknown to you or those of the staffed crew they may have that same inclination towards the one you’ve set your eyes on.  Work this into the equation and now you’ve gotta bring the A-game which many really don’t own; Management included!  Speaking of management, those on this tier play games with subordinates the likes you wouldn’t imagine.  And don’t assume for a minute that they are so professional ’til they wouldn’t cross that threshold.  If any of this factors in, Boss, Supervisor…  Any one can create havoc for your work place romance, and…  They know how to skirt those mandates defined in the workbook outlining conduct, ya know.  Its called (professional deniable based on selective memory loss exclusive to those large and in-charge).

Vibe off of this.  Once you “hit it” what to do?  And don’t say you have no idea what I mean.  It is after this point that you have to deal with your lapse in judgement.  All negative you say?  I beg to differ.

People think they are brilliant when in pursuit of another.  What is usually forgotten, “purposely” is that much of what people do with regards to attractions is based on impulses.  Again, I definitely must admit to chasin’ those I worked with.  Chased those I stood in line with while getting lunch at the Gourmet Buritto Coach.  Chased those I shared the elevator with, but that was back in the day when I was staring in the role of the second coming of Doctor Frankenstein.  A valuable role as I learned many in-valuable lessons.  Mainly I know how to find that Diamond in the Mountain of Ash!  This is to say, even those I…  “Consumed”, woke up and happened to leave me all the while saying that I was all about self.  They knew that I knew why we engaged in the first place.  And…  It didn’t matter to me what they publicly said about us after their re-inclusion into their peer group.  All that was after the fact and wouldn’t change what was.  Ask yourself this; Are you built to deal with this?

Back to Boss and or management knowing what they may or may of not known about the romance.  Oh well.  Adhering to the jobs definitions, duties & office policies is all…  Pretty much, rhetorical.  Professional or not, people are germane to their class.  Your ability to perform on either level “will not”, “cannot” interfere or mess up your personal decisions.  Yet, with most…  Well, they do what is expected of them by those who have dominion over ’em.

Psssss; When love has much to do with this you enter a whole ‘nother level of understanding and…  When you think you’ve got it all together, Murphy’s Law is sure to kick in.  Especially if you wanna have it your way.  It is here that you will find that you really don’t have it like that.  Oh no, not Devils advocate, not me.  I don’t just play at this, I play to win so stop hating.  (Whoa, whoa.  I’ve gotta go.  I see someone who can make Valentines Day another point to ponder) You Feel It…

I Robot too

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology with tags on February 4, 2010 by ichas8440

“Roxxy and Roscoe sittin’ in a tree, but there isn’t any K.I.S.S.I.N.G.”

Back in the day when I appeared on the club scene, there were those who couldn’t dance and desperately sought a substitution that would stimulate their libido.  Somebody must have had the clubs under surveillance because shortly thereafter a mechanical bucking bull appeared on the scene, answering the call of many.  Well, I really didn’t think the bull was designed for the clubs but like that spiraling, sparkling ball that stayed suspended up in the ceiling of every club.  So did the bull become a permanent fixture where all those FOLK gathered.

Many marveled at the device & shuddered with anticipation at the mere thought of mounting it.  If not for the thrill of saying they knew what it was to ride a Bull, then…  Just for the completion of the erotic sensations conjured up in their overtly exposed imaginations.  “Me”.  Oh, Momma didn’t raise no Cowboy so I didn’t need that type of stimuli, but many did and even more came to mount the Bodacious Bucking Bull!

Today, our society in their drive to act even less on a physical or mental tip have found another example of man’s desire to replace themselves.  “It” or she goes by the name of “Roxxy”.  Yes, a certified computer scientist “Douglas Hines” who mastered the discipline of Electric Engineering went rogue.  His artistic vision was off the charts in his endeavors towards duplication of Doctor Frankenstein’s mastery.

Roxxy is anatomically exact in every fashion and form.  She comes with the most advanced artificial intelligence along with wi-fi capabilities so that orgasms are always…  Updated.  Reach over and stroke the skin and you receive the sensation just as if you were caressing a real woman because this scientist incorporated into his design, the same material used in completing high-end prosthetic appendages.  Want warmth, don’t trip.  Roxxy has vessels running throughout the Bod so that a core temp is always maintained calming the savage beast.  This was achieved by the injection of some top-secret liquid of a cybergenic base, blended with nanobots.  I guess the federally funded Institute the scientist worked for couldn’t keep up with its own oversights.

Creative types are everywhere.  Take “Dougie Fresh”, a real pioneer from the music world who was also a scientist, in a sort, but…  Maybe Roxxy’s creator absorbed a bit too much of his own Kool-aid, rendering him mad.

This news sparked my imagination because I really could appreciate see the passion required towards completing such a task.  I mean think about it, come home from a long day of dealin’ with the outside world where you had to engage; professionally with those you really hate and there’s Roxxy.  Pre-programmed with at least five personalities that you are sure to find arousing.  You walk in and she responds exactly as you demand.  No fuss, no refusal, no…  Hummm

Now from a personal level I can do bad by myself and even if the ‘lil woman decided to up and move, abandoning me, I don’t want to kick it with a “Cherry 2000” a ‘la Roxxy.  Especially when I know that she is watching me, studying every one of my moves with her advanced data recovery chips processing overtime, then…  When I decide to take a dip in the hip pool, shock the hell outta me because it mis-interpreted my real-time, real-life emotional signals.

Roxxy makes me wonder where are we going as a species.  Touch is beyond powerful, its magnificent.  Touch has a healing ability that is beyond scientific deciphering.  Touch removes the rage that causes those ineffective outburst and you know what I’m talkin’ about.  But then again, Roxxy, she’s programable.  Sounds enticing, hummm.

When contemplating the delectable, delicious ways that I…  Would manipulate, uh, “enhance” this dream doll.  Positioning her in every conceivable contorted way, I can’t help but look to the ‘lil woman once again.  She loves to start stuff like the un-predictable knucklehead she is.  But…  I’m cool with it because its all about the “break-up to make up” thing.  She stays on my last nerve but this is a trait required if one who is aliveand wishes to stay sharp.  Like the ‘lil Boogz always says, “I’m the baby, you’ve gotta love me”, so do I extend this love to my ‘lil woman too.

Now next to Roxxy it’d be a close decision as to who would win, but…  When she touches me I can’t help but recite the lyrics made famous by Teddy Riley and Aaron Hall of the super group GUY“Ouuuuu Weeeee, Ouuuuu Weeeee.”

Psssss; Often I find myself saying to my ‘lil woman, “I’m gonna send you back for reprogramming”.  She hears me and replies, “get over here and back that ‘thang up before I run out and replace you”.  This is called communications.  Hummm, Roxxy can only communicate someone elses illusions of what love could be. Feel me!

Psssss, psssss; The failure of including Roscoe was on purpose.  He has not yet accepted his nano filtration therefore…  Roscoe has rendered himself hopeless and is still on the drawing board.  Males, give them their deserving percentage of the pie and they still hold out, demanding more.