Archive for October, 2009

Scared? Yes, most of you are!

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology with tags on October 29, 2009 by ichas8440

Richmond caliBy now most have heard about the sick situation regarding the young female (15 yrs on this planet to be exact) who was raped and tortured while attending an event on her High School Campus in Richmond, cali.  Despite the notorious reputation of the city itself, (yeah, this is reported as a very tough spot to live in).  Still,  those who stood around witnessing the vicious incident have been given a pass once again.  Finding solace in the published affliction they have grasped as their own to justify doing nothing.  This pass has been deemed as; (Genovese Syndrome) See; http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/28 california.gang.rape.bystander/index.html

To me, this syndrome is a cop-out at best.  Defined by those who wish to exempt themselves and those like ’em from having to engage if and when…  Confronted with a situation that calls for personal involvement.  Ya know what I’m talking about, taking time from sippin’ the latte, diverting ones eyes and dialin’ up the nearest crime fighting unit for immediate “TD.I.R”.  (reads, Tactical-Deployment, Intervention & Rescue).

Societies and many cultures have internal organizations set up to make living within that communal zone safe.  This is what is known as the infrastructure.  Yet, this same support structure that everything inside of the society has been founded or reliant upon, is manned or full of those same scary ass people that spawned from the same frightened society that is ‘pose to be built with reliable safeguards.

Can someone tell me, where is the humanity.  Please!

When I was comin’ up as a “young-star” there was a saying that went like this;

“Don’t be the pot to call the kettle black”

This simply meant that if you are guilty of something don’t be so quick to point the finger as if you are above re-proach.  Case in point; this situation I’m speaking on!

An associate of mine has been through the fire just as I.  The other day we spoke on how so many will allow another to fall victim to the ills of society, just because of that fear which has gripped them for far too long.  Fear of retaliation if they get involved.  “Fear of self is more like it!” Together we spoke about this with great passion.  As I listened he spoke with a conviction easily recognized as he conveyed to me how he “rescued another” from a similar brutal attack being carried out right before his own eyes.  An assualt with one slight difference, his situation was male to male, same-sex.   Yet, executed with the same intensity in criminality as the young victim in the Richmond incident had to have experienced.

My friend engaged regardless of all the “looky loues” who stood around watching, but kept that safe distance.  Gawking while they felt what was transpiring right before their eyes had nothin’ to do with them personally.

There are some…  Few but still some within all societies who, maybe because of experiences and life situations have no stomach for events of this type.  He nor I would or could sit back and let this sort of activity un-fold without steppin’ up.  I guess we are cut from the same cloth!

What goes on around you may not touch you today, but eventually the remnants of what was…  Will fall from the sky like rain as a result of what is, and will.  In time, touch you also!  And no, by no means is this phrase to be taken outta context and looked upon with any religious association implied.

There are thousand of excuses anyone of those who make up society can find and apply in order to exempt themselves from guilt whenever they see a crime committed.  Still, you saw it.  You were there, on site, eyes glued to the scene first hand!  What does this say to you as a person?  What does this do to your psyche’?

Psssss:  I dont call any kettle black because…  I refuse to live in a glass house.  No, I’m not criminal, I have engaged in crime just as you.  Hey, don’t trip, remember when you cheated on those school test when you couldn’t come up with the correct answer.  Said your memory wasn’t up to par that day.  Or…  That grape you tasted while shopping in the grocery store.  The one you popped into your mouth to determine if the bunch was sweet or not.  I can even mention the excuses you conveniently refer to as “lil white lies” whenever your mate set up the inquisition regarding your whereabouts.  You know the deal.  Fact is, crime, what is wrong or illegal is…  Still illegal!

SEXCAPADES

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , on October 22, 2009 by ichas8440

G's BossolinoI really had no intension of re-visiting this topic, but…

“Every time I think I’ve gotten out, someone pulls me right back in it!”

Another high-powered Producer from the Entertainment Industry had to pull a disappearing act because of what has been reported to be.  Exactly, another sex scandal!  And since many of you have shot emails my way, asking for clarification on why America is so caught up in celebrity-ism.  Primarily their sex lives, I have to…    “Hav ‘ta answer da call.” Besides, this is what I do.

Before we dip waist deep into this, allow me to break something down by “kicking knowledge”.  In fact, let’s begin with the word “knowledge”.  Knowledge according to “G” means to (know) so you won’t fall off that (ledge).  “Ya feel me, yeah you’ve got it.” Now, movin’ into “scandal”.  This is a situation of premier status that creates a public outcry and in America the screams are based on the masses appetite in following the celebrity.  And ya know, those who follow another’s life so closely usually haven’t got a life.  Or, those who glow with the awareness of the famous are attempting to live their life via the celebs that they privately wish they could be like.  Lastly let us touch on that word which causes everyone, especially Americans to turn away with shame, “sex”!

No great mystery here, sex defines genitals plain and simple.  But for most functional FOLK this root word denotes two living beings doin’ the nasty.  Hey, it’s done each and everyday, mostly engage in the nasty for fun and…  Undeniable pleasure.  Occasionally that pro-creation thing comes into play, but this is a secondary consideration or collateral results at best.

Once I was asked why don’t I become a therapist on sex.  The word therapist I won’t even break down, but I didn’t qualify the question then nor will I today.  Still, it’s like this.

Every-Some-One-Body that gets with another body doesn’t always have the focus of the end-game being the sexual conquest, or…  Seeking out the relationship merely for sex.  Okay, 99% of the time the sex may be the case, but for the more multi-leveled ones.  Those who are conscious of themselves & their kind, this engagement goes way beyond the physical.

Alright, I agree, I know that when you first set eyes on another the attraction normally has been based on what you’ve observed in a physical sense.  That visual thing if you will.  Yet, once the intro is made and the mouth opens allowing words to emerge, BAM!  You begin to add to the attraction’s depth chart.  This is defined as the qualifying period of the relationship.  Providing this level of communications proves to be “magnifico” the sex will occur, just give it time.  But this sex scandal thing is way over exposed.

Now, let’s blend all this together.  Take what has previously been explained with regard to the meaning of certain key words, toss ’em in, mixing them with the mentality of those using these words and…  You will find that the scandal is in the mind’s of the perceiver.  Drizzle in the media blitz that can’t stop feeding the masses of those of the initial observance.  Which incidentally, moves me to better understand why…?  Why so many FOLK are demanding that the cycle ceases.  Could it be that these are the collective cries of the guilty!

Psssss: Yes, sex will always have that attraction in the public’s mind.  And no, I’m not going back into the re-visiting the abuse of power thing.

WorkPlace Romance “The Prequel”©

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , , , , , on October 15, 2009 by ichas8440

“Okay, I’m in it, now…  Can I win it?”

In the fairy tale “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”, the 7 sing a song about going off to work.  Based on their obvious audible glee, facial expressions, you’d think they are happy and satisfied.  Now, factor in Reality 5.0 followed by the removal of emotions governing the self and you’ll know those Dwarfs are totally aware that no body wins.  Especially under the conditions and circumstances they have to contend with.  7 into one; hummm.  Breaks down all th time but cannot be consummated at the same time.

HomebaseBayAreaThe public perception of a workplace romance is that a course has been charted, set and taken.  All that remains is for that course to come to its conclusion.  How the workplace romance started will determine how it ends.  Win or lose is all subjective.  Those who go into one and don’t have a significant other in a holding pattern outside the workplace may feel they’ve succeeded because of the secondary acquistion.  But…  If that relationship was based on mere sex, it will always lack the ties that are needed to bind.  If not one, then both will occasionally reflect on the others actual depth to interest and cause of commitment.  This will be where the seeds of discourse will plant themselves.  Friction follows and eventually do what it does.  Erode the foundation!

There is another scenario, in fact many.  But I will stick with these few provided.  If either of the two are true in knowing the realities of He & She, then they will know if lies were part of the equation, the doom is only relative to the coming of the passage of the novelties expiration date.  Now place respect on the horizon, allow it to show glimpses of itself during the flirtatious period…  Right, the chances of success are greater because discretion would have come into play before any decisions of exposure with regard to the physical engagement would have been decided on.

Now, for those who can handle the truth.  I give you the truth

Workplace romances are a given.  Someone posed an analogy using the desire to have an apple, which was supplemented when they saw an orange.  This quickly vanished when the banana came on the scene, and the pretty yellow thing was zapped!  Ejected for the sweet, succulent flavors of the kiwi.  I quickly recognized the transition play, which…  Was what every motivation to engage is based on.  A play without the need to stick with what is you!

Life is like a card game, even when you know there are 52 cards in a single deck, the game won’t be limited to the fifty-two switches that are known, and needed to play and win.  In the workplace romance, there are switches known.  There are switches that are obvious no matter the degree of ones involvement.  Then…  You have those switches that are, disguised.  Hidden and very seldom revealed to prying eyes.  Whoa, did I slip and forget to mention the subtle injection of racial implication based on social norms?  Silly me.

Recall I told ‘ya I did this?  You assumed my meaning was that I did the apple and never consider the orange.  Hate to burst the image but I wouldn’t, couldn’t; discriminate.  Color didn’t slow my desires.  Pay grades…  I went below mine and above theirs.  What I had not consider was the mentality of those with me or around me.  You know how you can be with something, involved with everything, but…  Remain detached from all that appears to be consuming you.  Well that was me.  Atypical personality, but personal to the point of that moral code being forever present within my psyche’.

Truth be told, females and males of different races are no different than males and females of different cultures.  When one of theirs steps away from the village everyone applauds.  Praises them for having the vision, showing the courage and being principled enough to venture forth and be all they can be.  The real is this support is public display of Drama!  African Americans, Asians, Italians, even Mesopotamians…  Are not sooooo accepting when it is about splittin’ thighs while screams such as, “oh, ahhh, oh my, God bless America, can be heard piercing the silence.   This disdain for what’s now out in the open even extends to those who are invited to the fake wedding party!

Oh, you say I sound jaded?  If you even think about mentioning being jaded, miss me altogether.  I told you all I don’t exist in this life, I live life.  So, hold up on the jaded thing, okay.

Today our President is of mixed heritage.  What’s goin’ on with this!  It’s not about his decisions that causes the uproar within the masses.  When he publicizes that he’s about to appear and address the children of our nation, the haters come out droves.  And it isn’t because of the content of what he’s bringing to the table.  It’s that he should have known better, (based on them), that he isn’t sitting down at the table.  The color thing has clouded those who feel they can assess his character!  And guess what, the same goes for workplace romances.  You are damned if you take it to the level of the 5th phase and think you will be granted a pass.

Something else just donned on me that I must speak on.  If you don’t understand any of this because we are a nation of multiple mixed people, and you feel that reality precludes my conclusions.  Hey really, I don’t care.  I’ve been there and have done it.  And…  I’m still standing.

Psssss.  Workplace anything is best left at work!

WorkPlace Romance, II

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, Relationships on October 13, 2009 by ichas8440

yingyangclassicyingyangSome said my intro into this workplace romance was lite.  Others even alluded to my presentation being somewhat homogenized in view of what they knew of me.  “Thanks”, I didn’t realize I held an audition for this production. Still, I need to pull the covers back on this topic as it has been kept in the closet for way too long.  “Am I qualified to do this?”  Fat meat is greasy and I’m fine with speaking from a hypocritical stance.

I come like this because of my domestic standing which some would say precludes me from being able to breath life into the topic of workplace romance.  Yet, despite my personal choice of a mate my passion has always ran deep and as I previously said, this is my movie.  I’m the star and my sexy, exceptionally intelligent Wifey has been there since day one.  She knows just how passionate I am when my heart is into it.  As for the sexy ones who have slipped in and outta the co-staring roles.  Well they have come and gone, with many gaining from their association with my productions.  Which…  For any sensible person being made privy to all this would conclude; “he must know something”.

Sooooo, without anymore stupid assumptions, let’s kick it some more on this fantastic voyage known as.

“My Movie Starring YOU”

Finding your “Boo” in the work place isn’t changing today or tomorrow.  It’s something that no matter how you dress it up, will remain…  In vogue.  Flip the script, usher in new laws to prevent the deal from goin’ down, won’t stop it.  Keep pushing that dialogue that stipulates to engage is a direct conflict or breach of professionalism, is akin to singing into the wind.  The correct verbage in use today, goes something like this.  Any office romance is an abuse of power as it  discriminates.  Creating an un-fair playing field for subordinates.  I guess this means professional manipulation.

Usually after the novelty of the office romance wears off, everybody is left standing, but asking the same question.  “Why did I get involved in the 1st place.”  That answer is simple.  It’s like most things you want…  Take, but should have.  It feels good to you and while attaining this state of being a physiological change occurs deep within your body.  The affects of the workplace romance is just that, a drug!

The workplace romance compels.  Holds and puts a lock on you.  Maybe those involved are suffering from low self-esteem.  Possibly its done because your significant other isn’t keepin’ up with the standards of your primary relationship.  Then, it could be that you just wanna explore and biologically desire more.  No matter what is callin’ you, once you get in you feel complete again.  That smile returns, you enjoy the activities of the job and your productivity increases.  At least, temporarily.

Any workplace of today is…  In many ways, just as they were yesterday.  Work which took place in the fields has been transformed into congregating people in offices environments.  Women are as visible as men during this modern day scenario.  Each arriving at the same time, both sexes handling their assigned responsibilities.  And all the while you will find many who are trippin’ off of some imaginary fantasies they assume the other is also fabricating and happily framing them within also.

Un-like days past, the work place has ascended to being “The Place”.  By spending all that time on the job it’s no mystery that some serious personal interest are cultivated, and guess what.  If any of this applies to you, you will eventually get got.  The thing to do is, don’t expect the laws to shield you from your involvement.

Once the affair is over, there will be a price extracted by those who have nothing better to do than…  Bring what you thought was under the radar into full view for everyone to talk about.  Hey, thats just the way of our Western Society is.  A society that loves to point the finger and maybe it’s because of those similar dynamics found within workplace romances.  Any thing that involves people you will see that we are a species quick to accuse and say. I wouldn’t be caught dead doing something so foolish”.

Times advance, seasons change and…  Nothing has been re-arranged.  Everyone is seeking that “Ying to their Yang”.  You can add bling to it but…  It’s remains the same.  My brother once said that people are always following someone elses movie when they should be…  Right, starring in their own.

“I wanna know… Your name”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, Relationships on October 12, 2009 by ichas8440

The question of the day; When is it right to engage in workplace romance?

From a professional point of view my answer must be; not ever and preferably never!

With the present intrusive laws enacted, rushed into place by every corporate body to the many civil bodies with everybody hoping to appease all the bodies wishing to regulate what goes on in every public and privately functioning office…  The workplace romance at best couldn’t stand up under such scrutinizing observations.  Oh yeah, add the government body who have allowed this mess to expand dramatically, and your changes of “doin’ it while making it good to you” are nil to none!

As for those who are discreet, (reads-Smooth Operators).  Yes, those who know how to navigate the office corridors where the stream of opportunities for such a connection are considered; less monitored.  You are still opening yourself up for Drama.  Public, private and political.  Have an encounter with “Ms. Thang'” and don’t live up to her expectations, then in your moment of “clarity of consciousness” decide to spin her.  Don’t be surprised at how quickly you’ve got a sexual harassment suit filed against you.  Or if it’s “Sweet Lou” who isn’t ready to call it quits, but you being the female do…  Don’t take it personal when your pics are blasted on the companys’ inter-office bulletin board, both electronic & ‘ol school formats.

Forgot about those pics, hun?  You remember the ones you agreed to take via his cell phone?  Those he said were needed in the event he ever became a paraplegic and wanted that motivation.

Now, from a personal position I will always be of the mindset that says if you both are fellin’ one another then do you!  Just be aware that whatever you think you’re doing that hasn’t been seen or detected by others, this concept resides in your mind alone!  With the technology that exist today…  From audio to visual survellance equipment that can be acquired by any cluckhead, every office is a true source for that next, “YouTube Production”.  So it would be safe to ask, do you really wanna chance it?  As for combining these two point of perception, I will say this.  Every workplace romance has it’s pros and cons.

Back in the day when I was at play, I maintained a certain decorum about who I was.  This afforded me the awareness with regard of how stupid it is to believe one’s own press clipping, even those that are whispered in your ears or e-mailed to you by your “partna’ of chance”.  What I had could be called image, call it swagger which is just a morping from cool!  What I refer to this is being true to self.  With me, I lived for the chase.  I rose to the challenges that come with the mental sparing inherited with this sort of lifestyle.  Not to mention the benefits that comes from the physical continuity.  “What, did you think I was doing this just because!” All this gave me a balance which afforded me the attractions and availabilities of the best out there.  If I wasn’t feelin’ it I had no prob. in bailing.  Dis-engaging without fear of that infamous restraint order that is always there.  But…  Reserved for the day that you wanna stop at the play.  You know…  That legal weapon that many don’t think will ever be applied towards them, but knows it is a part of every arsenal of those involved.

Thankfully when I was in this mode, I had a Guardian Angel.  A woman who had more time in life than I.  She worked diligently within our office environment, was married and didn’t have the time to engage in such activities.  This woman always carried herself with “Grace”.  Even though I was “hunting” something she was totally aware of, she wasn’t so naive as to attempt to tell me about the fallacies of the hunt.  And…  She wasn’t so caught up in that stiff mentality placing herself in judgement of me.  In fact the wifey, she welcomed and treated with the utmost respect.  Ms. Pasadena who was a daily fixture in my office was moved by this woman and her attitude knowing she knew that I was already spoken for.  Naw, neither had to worry about being called outta their names as if it was a case of mistaken identity.

Yes, I was being watched over by another with sophistication unimaginable.  She kept me attuned to women.  Now who within the parameters of a workplace romance has this goin’ on for ’em today?  Told ‘ya I’ve been there.

For the real on what I learned during this second go round at workplace romance.  “What, you thought this was the first time!”  But really my points are relevant so hear me out.  I realized that this tricky, conniving game seldom had a winner.  From male to female the game comes with straight out wicked, devious stuff, designed to psychologically damage all those who think they’ve got it going on.  Note; this game is for the narcissist types only.  Approach with extreme caution.  But hey, it’s like this.  Boyz will be boyz and girlz will forever play their part.

Point being; within this realm of workplace romance everybody has an agenda.  Don’t think otherwise.  The question should be.  Can you identify all the switiches that come with the play?

Psssss; And…  for those of you who’ve carefully de-constructed the above, hoping to pin me on a contradict; wait on it!  Like my Guardian Angel who didn’t engage or tell me how to do what I was doing, I’m not about to pass judgment on those currently involved in workplace romance.  I have no concern if you do the workplace thing or not.  For those sharp enough to feel the vibe, you know I’m saying, I’ve got this thing and when you listen you might just get it too!