Archive for March, 2009

“Male to Male; In The Field Of Game Lords©”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships with tags , on March 18, 2009 by ichas8440

Spoony.  Spoony, Spoony, Spoon!  Here you have a good man.  Works, but I won’t tell you what he does.  Yet, I am pleased to say that what he does, he’s successful at and this success goes beyond materialism.  “The ATL” is the region that he lays his head, and it is his wife who made the initial contract with me.  Still, I am pretty certain that the desire to dialogue with me was prompted by the changes within the household atmosphere he politely refers to as “The Dominium”.  Yes, I would agree, when you understand the dynamics of communications, a cloudy, rainy day always holds excitement.

When Spoony reached out to me to to let me know of his arrival, I didn’t make any efforts to find an excuse not to see him.  Even though most who do what I do may of felt seeing or speaking with the significant other of the one they are seeing would create a conflict of interest.  Naw, with me I know what it is to be professional…  Professional to the point of not crossing any lines, even the invisible ones!  But, this didn’t prevent me from cross referencing the bank account number that his wife routes my fees from.  Un hun, his name was primary on that routing number.

He arrived during the night and after dis-embarking from his flight, Spoony said he’d like to experience a strip club.  Ok, so I whizzed him over to Caesars’ Palace.  After a brief moment inside where many women dressed in some very exotic period pieces, he corrected me on the strip thing.  Understanding his words much more clearly, we quickly got into the car and proceeded to the Spearmint Rhino Gentlemen’s Club.  Securely behind their doors we opted for some privacy, got it and seemingly kicked back to enjoy the T&A show.  Spoony must have realized that I wasn’t feelin’ the spot, because he leaned over to me and asked if everything was ok.  I gave that typical response that everyone does so as not to offend, but he read right through it.  So off we go to another location.  This particular spot had an Asian theme.

Lunai’s was a location I truly appreciated, it had that interior ambience that was conducive for a lot of activities.  Plus, it wasn’t full of visual distractions, such as scantly dressed enticement’s.  It was here that the questions began.  “Hey man, Spearmint Rhino’s a little too much for you?” The question I heard, but this wasn’t a question and I sorta’ got that sense immediately.  He was on a mission, still I answered him.  “Nope, I’m just not so into those locales.” What he and I were engaged in could have been viewed as a sporting event.  Two B.Ball players with me being the one who just entered the paint, faking him out of position with ease.  But as in any event you have two sides creating two different attitudes of approach.  It was his turn to come again.  “Angela is feelin’ you man, she loves what ‘cha do.” Smilin’ to myself but only because this man was good, I was back on defense but I wasn’t about to have my ankles broke.  Kobe Bryant he wasn’t!  Without displaying any signs of agitation I used a diversion by glancing over to the big butt Asian woman who was lurking behind him at the Sushi bar.  Winked at her and said to Spoony.  “Yes, I make it a point to send her back to you knowin’ what to expect.”

“Shift like an Aston Martin and keep it smooth while you stay with me, okay.”  Which is exactly what I was about to make Spoony do.  Stay focus, pay attention to where I was goin’ and not get caught up in the method of delivery.

Now, as I mentioned; Spoony was on a mission.  His purpose was to define the type of man I was and while at it, find out if his woman had been true to those vows she expressed back in the day.  “You know what I mean”. But, back to my presentation, if he’d been of the nature to take flight, those feathers would have been too ruffled to ascend.  Yes, he was definitely in his feelin’s by what he’d just heard.  Still, we were two men.  Not males.  So that competitive posturing was kept in our reserve capacities.  He simply inhaled and said.  “Man if you are hittin’ that just go on and tell me.  And if you hadn’t…  Well, lie to me ’cause since she’s been in therapy with you things are different at home.  So, if it ain’t you, I’m dead in the water ’cause I don’t know who it could be!”

Man to man, I enjoyed this one.  He wasn’t confrontational, he wasn’t out to prove anything.  Spoony came correct.  Not once did we engage in that male to male dynamic that leads to that alpha male syndrome.  He was at a loss with regard to his woman and merely sought out the most likely candidate.

In seeing were he was comin from, I immediately addressed that therapy thing.  I don’t do mental health per ‘se and I wasn’t comfortable with the indication.  “Practicing medicine without a license…  Oh no.” From that point we touched on the crisis he felt was happening in his house.  With his insight, he was no where near the mismanagement point within his relationship, and he agreed with me on this.  I should have know that he would.  I mean, look at how he approached me with his concerns.  He came with an understanding of how to arrive at a positive level so that him and I could move our communications forward.  I said he was good.

In continuing, I did see that by what I said, he had gained insight as to how to better deploy crisis intervention.  If I had been wrong after this meeting and once over our clash, he’d head home with full battle stance being the order of the day.  Still and all he was right in his…  Plan to understand the change in his significant other.  Spoony knew that communications were based on listening, hearing and paying attention to who is talking with you.  What they are saying and what point they are trying to make.  He also knew that I wasn’t into T&A and my reaction at Spearmint’s was anticipated.  Basically he just had to be sure.

As for speaking up on “getting with his woman”.  I cannot say.  I mean if mine was seeing someone and stressed it was on a professional basis, but gave every indication otherwise…  Made me think…  Imagine for one second that she had “served him”, I’d go crazy.  Insanely crazy because I would know that it would just be a matter of time before he’d be bangin’ on my front door.  Screamin’, pleadin’ and demanding that I take her back because he couldn’t deal with her and the seductive powers she had.  Powers and persuasions reserved for teasing not pleasing!  Yes, I’d go crazy because I’d know that I’d have to prepare for her drama once again.  But…  Like I mentioned, Spoony was good, I’m good.  “Like the B. Ball player, I can rain 3’s all day!” Which is to say, he nor I re-visited the issue about hittin’ that.  Feel me!

Psssss. There are ways in which men speak to each other that defines their awareness of self and kind.  Then, there are ways that women speak to men and to other women that will not be categorized, at least not now.  Still, these are the independent and inescapable dynamics of InnerPersonal Communications.  He to He, She to She, sometimes just you & I.  We miss much because we’re too busy jousting for position.  Still, we know of these dynamics and can feel the vibe.  Especially when it’s un us not to really wanna change something.  Spoony wasn’t about to change a ‘thang.  Maybe he just wanted to get away from “The ATL”.  And if this was the case, he should have known that Vegas with the T&A spots doesn’t have a ‘thang on “The Dirty South!


“Interview Of The Beary Bodacious Player©”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships on March 17, 2009 by ichas8440


Hey, they’ve interviewed corporate leaders with many assuming the public role & perception of what a Player is.  The world set down to witness the premier of “Interview with a Vampire”.  But…  How many of you would even know a vampire if you ran into one?  I mean, if the Vamp wasn’t parading around in the newest “caped” fashion, or engaged in an extraction, (reads, suckin’ out your blood), you wouldn’t even know ’em!  Now as to this contemporary phenom known as “player”, very few, if any would stand up to what actually defines a Player.

Hence, I give you…  “The Interview of  The Beary Bodacious Player”.  No, refrain from thinking about Ra’mon or Pierre’, they are what is consider, Gigolos.  You are thinking maybe Jodi or Sancho’?  Those are strictly lovers, African American & Hispanic or Latino persuasion, depending on which side of the equator you reside on.  Day Day or Woogi?  I’d be the first to admit I haven’t the slightest idea what or who these animations want to be.  For those who believe in Valdimir and Jorge, nope!  These cats are stereotypes of real gangsters, not the manufactured off the rack wanna be.  Sooooo, without further adieu, I present…  Smedley.

Q.  Let me be the first to say that if at any time you don’t like what I’m asking of you, just get up and leave, ok?

A. Nothing audible, just a nod of his head.

Q. Welcome to the show Smedley, are you cool with this?

A. Again, nothing verbal, but this time he outlines his mustache with his thumb & index finger, then very relaxed he nods his head indicating a yes.

Q.  Because you actually represent the male’s perspective of a Player, I’d like to know why do women want to be with a person such as yourself?

A. Women want man, man chase woman.  No big mystery.

Q. Ok, I can work with that, but tell me.  Are you so versed when it comes to sex that you have this magic about yourself that women find irresistible?

A. This life is not about sex.  It is not about what you cannot have, but what you want for yourself.

Q. Sounds kinda selfish?

A.  Would you see corporate man, movie star as selfish because he know what he want?

Q. Excellent come back.  Was that a deflection?

A. Back to the non verbal response with the nodding of his head.  Yet, there is a telling smile.

Q. It’s common understanding that males such as yourself, live off the material wealth of the women you attract.  Is this true or a myth?

A. Woman place themselves in my view to be seen.  Woman is aware of what she do.  I…  Respond.  Basic chemical reaction.

Q. You seem uncomfortable or…  Your answers are vague, sorta’ nonchalant.  This would indicate to me that…

A. I speak for me, ok!  You know what your client want, so you have no issue in letting them speak to you when they come to you with question.  This would be because you know what you do.  I am right?  I am not, as you say; uncomfortable.  I perfectly relax.  Just ask me what you like to know.

Q. What many of my female clients ask of me is why they cannot resist a man such as…  Yourself.  Is it that you’ve studied sex appeal?  Is it that you have all the material things that women see as something they want to enjoy or experience.  What is it?

A. Woman want what I want.  To be recognized, appreciated, romanced, enjoyed, love.  Man too busy building bridge, taking over country, no time to pay attention to what he have.  Man, woman fight over nothing important, me have no time for such foolishness.

Q. Ok, but…  Is the relationship that you develop with women based around sex?

A. Sex is relative.  I have…  Let me see how you need to understand.  I’m landlord.  I managed to acquire a couple of homes.  I don’t buy new car just to say I have new car.  I get money from tenants who lease from me.  I do gardening on my homes, sometime put up ladder for paint man to paint houses.  Save expenses.  I manage myself.  Woman is additional.

Q. You speak with an accent that is refreshing to hear, I mean not many people speak like you.  Where do you call home?

A. You want me sound like Jamaican?  Smedley begins to speak with Jamaican accent).  how abut Hispaniola?  (Smedley changes accent and demeanor with ease, now he speaks with Spanish accent).  This is as you say, refreshing, no.  I like me!

Q. But ‘cha didn’t answer my question?

A. Smedley nods, and smiles politely, then speaks.  I answer first part, second part comes now.  Home is where I decide to call home!

Q. So, back to something I asked previously.  remember about money?  Do you live off of the women you see?

A. I do not go so low.  I meet women, I enjoy them.  Sometimes they want to get into what I do.  By this I speak of how I make money.  many don’t do stock market, they see Madoff before he arrive.  Women mad at life, mad at what they cannot have.  They put money in my hand.  If we lose, it is loss.  In the beginning it is ok.  Whe they see that I have no desire to build home with them, do husband & wife lifestyle.  Woman girlfriend say I bad person,  Woman now say I use them.  This is lie.

Q. This is very insightful, but tell me, what is it that makes you so good ’til they are motivated to give you money.  For investment, it doesn’t matter.  Why do they just give to you?

A. Like I say, I have things.  Material thing woman see as man who…  Is, how you say, “about his business”.  Woman see as man who is good, but this only mean man capable.  Woman don’t understand that things are just thing.  Is it woman who play trick on self?  like sex, woman tell me that I’m best ever.  i hear, no pay attention.  I’m good because I please woman first.  Do that, woman always please man.  Woman interested because I continue to do as I have always done. Not worry about too many thing.  Time pass, life change.  I don’t change.  Woman change.  But not so much.  Woman have motive she hide from first time we meet.  Like season change, woman say I change.  I bad by every account.  This is life.  I continue with my life.  Woman life.  Not so good, woman listen to…  What pretty woman from movie say, woman listen to Hater!

Psssss. This interview took place in a very private location.  As we meet and greeted one another, ducks,geese along with other water fowl flew in to take up residency along the lake.  As we looked up to enjoy the scene, the sun was breaking over the eastern mountains.  It was nice as we sipped hot coffee right from a Coleman Thermos.  No Starbucks, no distractions from any other women or men.  This Beary Bodacious Player arrived in exquisite style as he descended from a lear jet.  Compliments, as he said, from someone who wished to remain anyonmous.  My sources confirmedd that the aircraft belonged to one of the major financial instutions doing business in America.  ‘Hey, are we talking stimulus abuse here?”   It doesn’t change the equation, the wifey who was bored, sought and found another man for the job.  As Beary Bodacious said, this is life!

In conclusion allow for this to marinate with what you just absorbed.  if you were anticipating those simple questions that lead no where, you read the wrong post.  It was obvious that who I interviewed was socially polished, articulate and very much conscious.  Was he a womanizer?  I cannot speculate on that.  I do know that he didn’t ask or need anything from anyone, especially females.  He may of been married, but he didn’t act or suppress anything visually or mentally.  Our purpose for conversing was motivated by his ability to communicate.  Something he can do well.  In the mean time, I think I wanna take him up on his offer to fly up and over Lake Tahoe.  Land and do lunch.  He said he’d have me back before the sun sets.

“Fancy Dresser©”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships on March 14, 2009 by ichas8440


What you are about to absorb is live and from real time.  The names were omitted to protect the wicked.  I go where most don’t even wanna know!  I’ve lived and seen what is the content of many dreams.  So don’t take any of this personal as I have accepted the position of The Messenger!  Feel me!

Hello my friends, its 2 a.m and as usual, I’m back in the streets again.  Strike that, because many of you will “get it wrong” and misinterpret.  Take what I said outta context and assume by the phrase, “being in the streets” I am to be considered one without any business.  But, to keep it real, being out there, a la “in the streets” is just an expression. Let’s say, vernacular.  In the streets is being on the front line, which incidentally…  Is how I stay sharp.  I’m not the one to extract my Intel by zoning into the nearest television screen, waiting for some corporate type who is monitoring feeds from AP and IP so they know what’s goin’ on.  No, more like some government agencies do when they cannot find a “case”, they make one.  Yeah, I’m being pro-active which makes it “safe for you”!  Feel me.

Standing at the intersection of Tropicana and The Famous Strip, I had just stepped out the doors of The MGM Grand.  My reason for being is that I have just completed an excellent interaction with some of my clients.  Now I need to see if I can “garner” the interest of others.  “Always in motion”.  My movements took me in and out of other Strip properties.  Popping into The Bellagio, Luxor, Wynn’s Resort, and as I cross the bridge heading over to The Venetian, I got one of those feelings.  You know the type when your skin starts to tingle?

Inside the Casino I’m searching for a diner, finding it, I decide not to enter.  Instead, I spotted a non-occupied bench within the indoor mall where I sit while placing a call to one of my associates, whom I just knew would be awake.  She answered, heard the sound of my voice and said, “you in one of those ways, hun?  Well, let me get my ass up and you come on over, I’ll fix ‘ya something or…”  I choose the latter and waited for her arrival.  In waiting I couldn’t help by smile as images of her played in my mind.  She was from ‘O Leans, but more so out in the Bayou.  But not from the Bayou, ya know!  She had a laughter that was comin’ from somewhere genuine.

When she arrived her game plan had already been executed.  No sooner did she walk up that we were heading out of the mall.  Those that couldn’t help but add to the color, played their parts of “Looky Lous” and stared us down.  Suspecting the nastiest most devious thoughts a mind could concoct.  But as we stepped away those were my fingers that rested around her derrie’re, and…  Right, this was all ’bout business.  Activities they only wished they could engage in.

As she drove, immediately she picked up on my vibe, and took us to…  Get with this.  We stepped into the other side of Vegas.  The side that many don’t hear about.  Places with names as The Green Room, that infamous Red Rooster, among other spots she felt I needed to re-visit.  To enter these walls one would think they had ventured to Amsterdam and their famous Red Light Districts.  Right, whatever your pleasures or adult fetishes were, would be viewed here.  And if you wanted to engage, that could be arranged also.  Eventually we wound up in the industrial area when I noticed that she had pulled into a parking lot full of high-end vehicles.  Many had chauffeurs standing guard.  Nope, there were no taxis or non-descript autos, anywhere.  Although we had taken the back streets of The Strip, there was upscale activities goin’ on here!

When we walked into what appeared to be a type of clandestine gathering, it soon became apparent that this wasn’t a sex club.  Or…  A typical political event.  To the contrary every type of citizens’ party was represented here, ‘cept the gender ratio was just a ‘tad off.  Outside of me, there were just two other men inside a room full of women.  I felt good about my presence as any man would, and let my mind imagine.  While fantasizing about what wonders she had prepared for me, I realized that I was in a den surrounded by testosterone filled females, who were pumpin’ themselves up.

The stage had a casual appearance to it, with The Chair being held by a prominent person who appeared regularly on screen.  She lead a committee of other socialites, Celebs. and the likes.  I will not divulge their names either.  But you know ’em, they are the ones who will attract others, providing for the memberships of such organizations to be paid, and always in full!

One of the other Cats happened to be the sole male representatives on stage.  What he was doing was…  This stupid “AH” was trying to explain to these women, the males perspective of violence against women.  I sat patiently, my associate sat quietly, with one hand on my knee, bobbin’ her head as if keeping time.  What happen next didn’t surprise me as much as it shocked me.  It was the suddenness, I think.

One male, many females.  Yes, he was King and on this day they provided him with a crown.  As he spoke on why males felt there were certain occasions where a male should and can smack a woman, he is slapped up side the face by a female seated to his immediate left.  Before he could compose himself and act like what happened didn’t just happen, smack!  Incomin’ from the right side.  The Chair, smoothed out her blouse, but didn’t even move to restore order, like those seated around us, who rushed the stage to get theirs in, so did she.  If you are thinking “gang bang” don’t.  You won’t even be close.  They went straight primeval and you could…  At least I could, smell the attack chemicals invade the nostrils of all those within.

Socially connected females, professionally motivated females, educators, some probably housewives, didn’t matter.  They were enraged and engaged.  It happened so quickly, but when those from around where we sat looked back my way, they had to be disappointed.  I wasn’t about to show fear, or move to escape.  My friend.  Right, later for her being an associate, she is friend now.  Bless her, bless her and that full certification as a BBW.  One who specialized in Dominatrix.  Even if any of these freaks wanted to get with me, they knew she wasn’t havin’ any of it.  Not that evening, not later on, not ever.  Never!

In making our exit I considered how people are some serious fakes.  How people are so guilt ridden with false presentations of self that…  If given the opp. they will quickly transform and even quicker go into transference.  Kick your ass as if by engaging in it, they will cleanse their own soul.  Purge the guilt right outta ’em.  What I had just witnessed was personal.

Safely inside the ride, she asked me if I had been scared or startled by what I had just seen.  Then she realized who she was with.  No I’m not the abuser.  Nor will I…  Well anyhow, she wanted me to realized that people are usually self serving.  That’s when I said all women should ask this question of themselves.

If your home was invaded and the intrusion was carried out by a female bandidto, and you being female, one laying comfortably in bed, but scared outta your mind, shakin’ because this is ‘pose to be your private castle.  “Your Home”, where you are always to be made safe.  Now, here you are, staring at another female who had captured you inside your bedroom, at gun point…  Yeah, keep goin, ’cause it gets much more juicy.  Now like I said, had you starin’ straight into the barrel of a 9, the same 9 she just went up side your head with.  “What would you do?”

Spare me the 911 approach, and please don’t go into sayin’ you’d talk her out of whatever she had in mind.  You aren’t The Negotiator and really don’t have those skills, alright.  Point being, stop hating!

In 1999 a film was introduced to America along with the rest of the world.  Its title was, “Fight Club”.  That subject matter wasn’t foreign to me then nor is it now.  The UFC which is replacing Boxing isn’t new to me either, maybe to you.  None of these activity phases me, just like the gathering of females who attacked that male.  Got with his program and carried it out with the precision that could only have been duplicated by Sharks during a feeding frenzy.  Like Sharks these females were way outta control.  Just as you would be, demanding vengeance.  Exactly as you would do if an invader crept into your domain.  Violence from He to She or her to him, please.

I won’t condone violence nor will I dismiss these females and their behavior.  What I do is what I do.  Call it what it is, violence!  These women had been worked up into a mentality of hysteria  because of the same pressures presently being spread within present day society.  This is known as enabling, straight that!  And, while I’m at it, get with this.  The status both public and personal of all those in attendance during this attack cannot negate what took place.  But…  It will.  You see it is natural to attack the messenger if that messenger’s words are against what is presently in vogue.

Psssss. It is about this time that I wanna get grimy and talk on the level that many of you are familiar with.  Sling the words that entice.  Curse, get down into the bowels with it.  But…  I have a legacy that you will not contaminate as I am G, so will she be!  She will rise and grow.  Understand to recognize while respecting who she is and where she came from.  Reach one, be The One.  Teach One.

“Now That I Got Your Attention”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships on March 11, 2009 by ichas8440

D.V. was the intro point for settin’ off my presentation.  But…  With the advent of C&R’s domestic issues along with the national dialogue that followed, many are saying that something seems to have re-lit the fire that burns within.  Within “Yours Truly” of course!

Case in point; my present and previous clientele!  Since ICHAS8440 “touched down” many have reached out to me demanding to know why I’ve held back?  Why I have cut ’em short.  This is said because now that they hear me.  Now that they’ve felt me once again regardless of this “touch” reverberating towards them via my words.  They have rediscovered the passion that attracted each of ’em to me in the first place. To them, as to all of you, I have but one answer.  I specialize in this!

Knowing what C&R are tryin’ desperately to get through is based on personal Intel of those same dark places.  Understanding the elements that typically define such a malady which, by the way is something all of us have the capacity towards displaying given the simple ingredients.  Being able to classify the root causes of this…  This so called, “Dark Secret” that has never been secret or dark, is something I’ve lived and like the many of you.  Didn’t wanna re-visit because of those defacing and damning images that C&R are now having to accept as being a part of their being.  The ugliness.  Whoosh, its chillin’!

D.V. or as many refer to as Domestic Violence along with the various categories for classification with regard to defining elements begins; not at home but…  D.V. cannot merely be assumed to be an acquired trait that appears after certain conditions are pronounced.  D.V. is “in” us all.  And like any hidden monster, knows that if its’ not recognized or understood, with the passage of time it will eventually self-release.  Containment, almost impossible.

When anything is soiled, it is assumed that the spot can be removed.  All fabrics have exact properties in which they are defined by.  When they are dirty, bring in the Tide.  That is, the detergent, it will wash it away.   Well get this, D.V. isn’t a mere stain, it is a part of the basic fabric.  No matter how much you attempt to wash it out, it is there.  As in human beings, think physiological, which goes to the psychological which connects with the emotional, resulting in…  Right, the physical.  “Bam.”  Didn’t see it comin’ did ya?  Which is exactly how D.V. operates.  Seldom will you ever see it comin’ especially when you don’t accept those predictators or know the aspects of its full presentation.  Yeah, we as a society wanna blind ourselves to the properties that define D.V..  Like linen, don’t attempt to sell me a mixed blend.  Don’t talk to me about the marvelous properties of your new nano fabric.  I want linen, I like and understand linen which means I know linen.  It is a fabric with properties I have learned to manage.  You iron it, it still will wrinkle, but I can deal with it because.  A wrinkle is in linen, especially when it is taken outta it’s natural state.  Such as D.V., give it the correct stage and it will perform just as predictated.  Just know it and you can manage it.

Those Triggers, the part of the application that create the ignition; right.  Many are passed down and we don’t wanna accept it.  Environment, environs.  Social orientation based on sex, cliques as in class distinctions and or categories.  Sounds scientific but Doctor Frankenstein had nothin’ to do with this.  Not yet anyway.  D.V. is beyond designer genetics, despite it being in us.  To get your mind around this just consider how you react when danger is just around the corner.  You sense the possibilities and stop!  Stop dead in your tracks.  An action demonstrated time and time again, but if asked to explain what signalled you to that impeeding danger, many times you couldn’t explain it.  It’s in you on an instinctive level.  Yet, our society continues to fail in admitting to its existence to that degree.  Just as our society denies and won’t ‘fess up to the depression we are currently experiencing.  Society refuses to accept “what is” because it is to say “what we are”!

Well I have something else to “blast”.  With the current episode of C&R being played out in the media another female was introduced.  Yes, his manager.  The female who is alleged to be the catalyst of all this, “Rage”.  Correct again, one of the elements that kicked this entire situation off.  How many have considered what roll she may have actively played in all of this?  Hummm, based on the media blitz her part has been quietly introduced as being of the nature of a “Cougar”.  That contemporary term that’s in play to justify the female who seeks and engages the younger male, and…  A word females are using as a means of giving the manager “props”.  Basically down playing or washing away the significance of this woman’s importance to the destruction of human beings.  And no, I didn’t mean to say involvement.  She, if “Truth Be Told” magnified the D.V. in ways not easily recognized or acceptable to the psyche’.  Such as in the form of child molester, home wrecker, etc. etc. etc.  She is the manager, a position of responsibility, authority and a person who is to be there for certain comforts.  Not to mention moral guidance and stability.  Hey, I’m puttin’ a lot on this woman, but she assumed the position.  She should have known the requirements, sorta’ like in any profession you step into.  But…  No one wants to suspect her or see that she may even carry such a beastly trait.  Get real, she is human too!

There is no way to down play or put the spin on this situation. Why?  Because C&R have broken traditional beliefs and severed conventional views by re-confirming their love and admiration to each other.  Maybe it was a professional decision based on generating dollars, I don’t have all the answers, but right now they are back as one.  Which has placed many on the sidelines to scream “fool”.  No again, not to be read foul!

Wake up “Folk”, D.V. is a dark secret because its interpretation is always based on the perspective of two different camps.  One being of the conservative mind set, a la male and females who, for whatever reasons, think this thing is purely academic.  Then you have the other camp that stands on the belief that if you don’t talk about it,but isolate those who are caught dishin’ out this stuff.  With the focus being confinement concluding with public defamation,  D.V. will somehow disappear. Like smoke, go puff.

To me what is sad is the lack of humility displayed by all these wanna be professionals.  Yes, it is obvious that the ratings bonanza is without a doubt, there for the taking.  But what about the fall out?  Why do you think with all the explosive powers possessed by the nations of this world, no one has decided to go nuclear?  I understand that from a realistical poin t of view, that fall out won ‘t ever be containable.  Even if it doesn’t touch you directly, it has to land somewhere and on somebody!

Like with D.V. the various organizations that use the celebrities to push their agendas are spearheading what can only be viewed as a full court press.  Shoutin’ out to all that are listening, Chris is gonna put hands on Rihanna again, especially if she goes back. My voice is my voice and not to be taken outta context.  Sooooo, don’t attempt to alter the content as I apply it.

“Real Talk”, a lot of these people need to step off.  Find themselves some business.  As for many others, why speculate?  Do you really know?  Are you able to recognize the traits that compose the elements that are needed to ignite the blast that comes from Trigger?  Right, and I’ve included Anger, Rage, Madness!  These are all parts of D.V. that we refuse to qualify, recognize and understand.  But…  I can tell you about ’em.  Yes, I’ve been there and dealt with all this first hand.  I’ve walked with ’em as them being my only asociate.  That is, ’til Peace stepped to me.  Basically this is why I have that passion many knew was in me, but didn’t ever see it comin’.  Have you forgotten; I am G?

Psssss. Don’t take this personal.  I speak passionately because its in me.  I speak dramatically about this but believe me when I say, I don’t or won’t ever take it lightly.  Nor will I assume the position of any opposing ideologies.  Ideology means theoretrical as in idea.  Also where I’m comin’ from isn’t based on clinical observations.  Although that is a method of science which is engaged to prove many things, I see it as a sanitized approach have both good and bad applications.  Clinical conditions are always controlled, which pretty much predicts the out come.  I am a Field General.  I have no prob. in engaging the battle because I know the components for engagement on the level battle will exist.  With in all things there is that dreaded X-Factor, meaning the inclusion of the unknown.  My conclusions will always be in flux.  Like life, seasons change even though things appear to remain the same.  With the season comes a renewal, you just have to understand the entire process.  Like within a relationship, understanding can be there.  Just remember there are three points of view.  He, She and those who wanna be!  Everything changes, all things can change given the correct application.  Keep it real.  I am G and I’m out!

Free Six Pak

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships on March 9, 2009 by ichas8440

“Extrrraaa, extrrraaa”, read all about it.  Social networks and those that make ’em up are demanding blood from “flava’ of ‘da month” Chris Brown.

It is alleged that he’s sought the assistance of a high priestess to throw some voodoo dust Rihanna’s way.  I mean, what else could make her get back with the guy?  Hummm, could it be some feelings deep down inside of her that she needs to understand?  Could it be that she is seeking her own clarity as to the workings of a successful relationship minus the media hype?  Could it be…

Please.  Get a life, and seeing that many don’t have one, I recommend that those that don’t rush.  I say rush with the quickness, over to your nearest drug store and pick up that free six pak of business.  You heard it right, ’cause many really don’t seem to have any business which would account for the many being in other people’s business!

Rihanna reunited with Chris and many can’t seem to stand it.  Okay, now, ask yourself what is the goal of growth?  For those of you who know, sit!  Hang on as I bring the rest up to speed.  The goal of growth is to reach your maximum potential by understanding your reasons for mere existence.  In the case of C&R, first and foremost he and she are young.  He’s allegedly put hands on her, which isn’t in dispute.  But, because there are always three sides to everything, with the “X factor” making up that 3rd side, there is much which is unknown about their personal situation.

National stats show that two outta 3 marriages end in divorce before they reach that seven year point.  And for those who question everything go to the U.S. Census Bureau, research family, key search divorce and then send me an apology.  But during the mean time allow me to continue.  When I started this quest to define what “is” with regard to He&She that stat was in the range of one outta seven.  Huge difference and I think I know why.  It’s because you have so many people gettin’ into other people’s business, ’til those with some sense of their own business want inclusion because they appear to be the only one’s outside the norm.  Norm being messed up and miserable!  And as far as being on the outside, just envision everyone falling off the cliff and you being othe only one left!  Right, and if you need confirmation on this analogy just see society’s present condition.  Everyone wanted in on the greed and glamor, so they followed those that had it, despite of the consequences.  Regardless of knowing what they were pursuing was illegal, wrong and completely unethical.  They did it, and…  Because they wanted inclusion!

Right about now C&R are probably contemplating a split from each other and all because of those agents, managers, publicist, so called friends and Fam. tellin’ ’em that they are putting their earnings potential in full jeopardy.  Yet, I bet that not any of these people are actually concerned with the mental and emotional well-being of C&R.  If they were, they’d be seeking some real help for them and not focusing on their “meal tickets” earning potential.  This reads, make that money boy, get paid girl!

It’s true misery loves company and in the case of C&R everyone seems to wanna make certain that there is never any peace or compatibility between those two.  Hey, I agree with one of my confidant that there is a great predictability that when one strikes out or one is struck it is a great likelihood that it will happen again.  And, on a much more dangerous level, but…  With the correct professional intervention the course can be re-directed.

When you wanna help some one the first position is to assess the needs of that who you seek to assist.  To accomplish this you have to understand and know what type of help they want and need.  To stand on the sidelines and assume a position based on speculation is to set the foundation for disaster, plain and simple!  C&R are extremely young, neither has any actual knowledge source on a personal level that they can tap into for awareness of this thing called love.  But, this doesn’t mean that those that swear that C&R cannot make it need to inject their beliefs onto them.  Besides, when helping or assisting you’ve gotta remain objective and who in C&R’s case can say they are without bias?

Most of those who swear that she needs to get away from him as quickly as she can have probably been on the receiving side of D.V. .  And then you definitely have those who, because of first hand experience of other forms of D.V. abuse, (e.g. emotional, psychological, spiritual, financial, etc. etc. etc.), weigh in on this with extreme prejudices, I mean…  Whoa!  Let the line form for those cans of business.  Yes, get your six pak cause it seems there is a huge demand.

The other day I was on a mental exploration with some of my clients.  We dialogue with regard to E.T..  This took morphed into the considerations of UFO, SUFO and in time we got around to…  Well our collective conclusion was that all these extra terrestrials seem to have one thing in common, which was.  They come, they explore and they deliver to the masses technology.  Things that placate society.  That’s when I injected the reality of The Supreme Being.  Who some said was mankind’s fantasy, basically translated; God doesn’t exist.  Well vibe on this.  The Almighty when examining what has been delivered to mankind, I mean in comparison to E.T, The Almighty doesn’t give us intelligence in the way of high-tech.  We are given the capacity to understand our lives, if only we just stop trippin’.  Stop being defined by cultural differences and stop tryin’ to have what our neighbor has.  Back in the day this was known as “Keepin’ up with the Jones”.  C&R  maybe on the road to something way beyond damage control.  But then, they may being simply tryin’ to correct what really needs a correction.  Their lives!

Psssss. And for those of you who are wondering if I believe in The Almighty.  You are @#$%^ &*()^_ RIGHT, I do!  How else could I rise from the madness I’ve been subjected to and in?  It wasn’t me that had the where-with-all to correct myself.  Nor was it by the designs of all those Folk that said they knew.  Who incidentally didn’t know $#^&!

“I am G©”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships on March 6, 2009 by ichas8440

She placed her hands just above her breast, fingers, spread delicately, inhaled deeply then said.  What are some of the things you like to do?  Tell me what ‘cha like as in hobbies.  Where do you wanna go with your life. Seated and appearing very comfortable, he looked over his eyebrows and in a soft speaking tone, almost melodic, replied.  “I like me, I appreciate a lot of things, especially harmony.”

By the looks expressed within her stare, she wasn’t satisfied with what she had just heard.  Emotions were extreme, especially those that circulated inside her body.  She tossed her hair to one side of her face and with a calculative cadence evident in her voice, shot back.  “tell me more, I want more attention!”

His smile was casual and all by design.  She relaxed her guard and slid closer to him.  With those hazel eyes looking into his, asked him to hold her tight, whispering seductively, “I want”.  He gently placed his arm over her shoulder, allowing his fingertips to massage those tense muscles that gripped her with anticipation.  By his perception the move should have soothed the tiger within.  But…  She was on one of those missions.

Feeling his caress, she gazed deeper into his eyes, playing an elementary game in the arena of deception, for he was better than she had ever encountered.  Still, this was her arena, one in which she owned the canvass she was painting on.  Owned it so much until she knew the color he had to represent.  He welcomed the invite into the arena she graciously, had predefined.

The picnic under the moonlight, high up in the mountains, overlooking the Pacific Ocean was unannounced.  A twist nicer than anything she had ever experienced.  He slowed her roll as she wasted a good bottle of wine by guzzling it.  But…  She was in search of something.  Something she felt she wanted, and to her etiquette was something foreign to those straight outta  Torrance.

As she laid between his legs with her head resting on his stomach, she drew soft circles along his calf’s.  He reciprocated by methodically stroking her forehead.  She pledged a love to him that would be unrestrained.  Said that she would always be there for him, expressing this by using one of the signature phrases he shared with her earlier; “Forever and a Day”.  Still, she couldn’t get comfortable and demanded for the second time.  “Tell me more.  I want to know who you are and I want this now!”

With a sigh, he complied.  Lifting her head up, he flipped the script and gazed into her eyes.  He knew…  He knew that what he was about to say was surely gonna rock her world.  But…  She had been the one to ask to be let in.  Screamed in an emotional sense to have it her way.  Sooooo, like Burger King he gave it to her!

“You are beautiful and passionate.  Possessing the 3B’s, and if you don’t know what that means, get with this.  Booty, Beauty & Brains.  As they say, you’ve got it like that!  Aspects of a woman that all males seek.  One other thing, I did mention males.  I step with all males, but I am…  Well, a man.  One who has played in the fields of The Masta’.  I can walk the walk that make you just wanna holla.  I also talk extremely well.  And by the way you look at me, you have concluded that physically I am worthy of your attention.” She is speechless, yet totally tuned in.  Not about to miss a beat, he continues.

“One thing more, don’t get it wrong.  I am that Bad Boy you’ve heard so much about, but never really believed existed.  Surprise, here I am.  In livin’ color.”

Now she quietly breaks a smile, the shyness is in full effect.  But he felt the vibe.  Yes, again those tense muscles of hers.  They flexed for the um-teenth time.  Fear was whirling inside of her as she had always dreamed of such a person, but dreaded the day.  Now she was living within her private dream.  One prob.!  This wasn’t South Bay and she was really way outta her league.  Luckily he had grown.  Expanded in directions many failed to envision.  He gave her a pass.

Arm in arm they descended from the mountain top.  Sea spray hitting them in the face.  Her hair tossed from side to side by the winds.  As they walked he wondered if she really understood the realities of reachin’ for something you want but not taking into consideration what your needs may be.  Internet chats.  Casual sexual interplay between consenting adults as they shop with their significant other whose not payin’ attention.  Texting without thought of how tech savvy your intended receiver may be.  Simple office foreplay that always seems to make ya’ stray.  Yes, anyone can be caught up in the game.  Dispatching these thought and visions, he let it go.  She was safe for he knew.  He knew that he had been there and actually done that!

Psssss; Many women desire men that they collectively refer to as “my Ex-Bad Boy”.  Bad Boys are universally know as those that have a certain swagger about themselves.  What women don’t understand is that “X”.  It comes in two distinct degrees.  Ex as in Ex-husband, Ex-soldier of fortune, Ex-man, only means that the Ex has been in the mix before you even arrived.  As for the other X…  This mean something totally different.  Type A or B, you’ll never see this X comin’.  I am X.  I am G.  G comes before X; either EX.  To define G; (see Gladiator, Gunslinger, Gangster,G).  All representative of “He”.  Just reflect on the passages in life’s time, believe me you will discover all of ’em defined.  Now vibe on this.  For the Greatest G of ’em all.  the one and only Supreme Being.  (see God).  Now X’cuse me as…

I am G.

“Does It Matter©”

Posted in Communications, Men&Women, psychology, Relationships on March 4, 2009 by ichas8440

This client is rich.  She has all the trappings that would definitely put her in the elite “class”.  When hunger strikes, she doesn’t concern herself as to where she will eat.  Oh no, it’s all about when she will decide to stop and dine.  The dining experience isn’t predicated on hunger but the type of cuisine she has a desire for.  Did you forget; this client’s rich!

Rich Folk, broke Folk, they all have this image of who they are.  An image that has been defined & refined by the social order they have either grown up in or…  Settled into.  Still, each group no matter the distinction, has similarities that neither are willing to “cop to” if and when speaking of the other.  “What could that be?”  Hummm, could it be that since I focus on InnerPersonal Communications…  Right, you are once again, thinking; this is good as it put us back into the mode of dialogue .  Alright, now check this, both groups actively seek out the attention and companionship of others.  Usually this partnership, when sliding to the intimate side.  Okay, I’ll say  the words; sex side.  This side involves a rep. from both sexes.  Man to woman.  Woman to man.  Yes, I said it twice, and since you are critiquing my methods of communicating, understand that this was stated for those who have nothing better to do than get caught up in how politically correct they are.  Un hun, smart-ass ones who always wanna “re-align” what someone else has defined!  “Truth be told”, it doesn’t matter that the male is mentioned before the female or vice verse.  The point of focus should be that each is consider no matter the stated sequential order.  “Got ‘cha!” And if you’re still pissed, (see conventional/traditional)

Now, back to my basic presentation.  Since each of these groups mentioned have certain commonalities when seeking out their choice of mate…  Tell me, why the can’t they get along?

Without getting carried away with what makes the rich more affable as they “float” within our society, while those of the broke remain caught up in the image of affluence the rich are very cool with…  I’ve gotta take you back to the beginning.  In the beginning I injected a certain word, remember?  Recall that word “class”.  Yes, class.  Like my rich client who feels she shouldn’t have to wait or want for anything because of her status with the ranks known as the upper class, all the way to that broke client.  Yes, those who can’t maintain a ‘thang because they are too busy trying to break into that upper class.  Opps, there goes that word again; Class.

Broke Folk to rich Folk, both seem to experience the same range of complications when in pursuit of intimacy.  As each representative of these social orders weave their tales of loves sought and lost, I enjoy sitting and listening as they explain their positions.  Then I think to myself, where is all this coming from and where are they headed?  At about this juncture I usually find the moment to smile as I realize that it all goes back to those basic standards which define who they “project” to be when engaging their significant other.  To me I see that much of their discomfort arises from that initial projection of self.  The false or forced image.  After the novelty dissolves the real set in.  What before had turned both of ’em on, now doesn’t excite or arouse the other and I want so much for them to see that…  Standards.  They have missed the importance of having a standard in which to make their move from.  Standars are what we have used since day one as the basics regarding the foundations of our lives.  Just as in values and each goes to the distinction known as class.

Despite the walk of life that either of these Folk step from, when they break from that circle where their comfort has derived, separate themselves from the standards that have defined their position in life they have to deal with the real. But ever are they ready!  The mate who once was in complete harmony is now, combative and quick to side in opposition to whatever.  It doesn’t matter, they always find it easy to argue on everything that previously was, well…  Non-issues.  That physical companionship that was, before, sooooo fantastic.  Is now received as if one has put on a jacket full of razor sharp pins.  To me there is no mystery here.  That novelty, right.  It’s gone, and the real rises just as I mentioned.  “Whoosh, if I took myself too seriously I think I had the capacity too…  No, I won’t go there.”

When you cross that line that defines your assumed class, you have to remain conscious that the mix you are attempting to bring forth is not much different than putting oil and water together.  Oh, for a moment after the two have enjoyed the “shake” an appearance of a “blend” can be seen.  But this is nothin’ more than an optical illusion at best.  Once the “motion” settles, each reverts to its original state.  So goes oil & water, much like people, mates, lovers and others.  When you step outta your class you are sometimes left with no class.  The point of demarcation is that real.  As for that convienent stand by assimilation, its out of the question because your basic conformity tells you there’s no way you will ever conform to such a mix.  It scares you to hell, and you replicate the oil to water analogy.  The fight is on for your space and defined place.  Separation ensues.

These are arguments brought to me time and time again, and each time I take the opp. to smile.  Yes, because if you are actually hungry, you will eat.  If you want to be included you will “create” so that who you seek inclusion with, will open up and accept all that you bring.  And, if “real”, will only enhance the blend.  Your perceived class won’t be a cause of ridicule because real class is evident without reproach.  Class is innate and cannot be bought or sold.

It sounds simple I know.  But…  Life is really visually complex, basically life and livin’ is simple.  We are the ones because of our projected sophistication who make it complex.  People want so much to be different and because they come from camps that strive for difference.  They want and want ’til they say.  “My way or no way.”  Okay, this is alright too.  Sooooo I say to you if this is the case then, hit that highway!

Class and style, there is a definite difference.  Some of us have class and those that do will not trample on the rights or expectations of others.  Especially that significant other who originally.  Right, when you first set eyes on ’em, did everything within your power to “project” a certain degree of class.  If you lost, you smiled.  Grinned and damn to hell knew you really didn’t wanna bear it, but…  You handled it because…  You had standards that supported your core values that defined your class.  But…  If you were more into style, the loss was crushin’ and it did matter.  But that was meant to be.  You see, style is always in flux.  It is here today and absent tomorrow.  Class is in you and not on you.  Class is un-assumming.  I like to define class with one word; Smooth.

Psssss.  Check out the pic below.  Yeah, I grow these.  They are roses and as everybody knows.  A rose will always…      Right, be a rose.  No matter where it grows.  The beauty is always within.  Apply that to your relationship and you will forever win.