‘Lil Kubla, microcosm of what’s really goin’ on in the minds of many. Oh, U don’t think so? “50 Shades Of Grey The Book” that became the trending theatrical must see film deals with fantasies both male and female. The theme; built around BDSM (Bondage/Discipline Dominance/Submission Sadomasochism). The nexus, sexual tension based on deprivation. What was once hidden and only discussed behind closed doors and in nondescript residential Dungeons finally received public anointment. Exactly as what was going on in ‘Lil Kubla’s mind just as the interest of the public proved with the release of 50 Shades.
Strolling towards the rendezvous spot, contemplating in silence, a car gently comes around the corner, parks in a crazy way right in front of the window where… ‘Lil Kubla is also standing while in deep thought. A man of seemingly European descent steps out and casually motions for her to come. She moves quickly in the direction and… Watching from a distance I see a verbal interaction developing. She becomes animated, hand gestures used to push her points. He steps from behind the door that shielded him and is now right in her face. Violence ensues as he yanks her hair, wraps his hand within its length. Then he spins her around, forces her to assume the position like a cop would do during a typical traffic stop. Her hands pressed on the hood of his car he throws her dress up. Is my heart racing? Am I fearing that this may be a set-up, pre-arranged for their benefit and I just happened to be the chosen one?
The sequence of events has drawn others who drive by, glance over and stop. Head lights doused and the audience forms. Sex in the city on Main Street and I like the others, haven’t turned my head. A shameful act? Shameless FOLK who’ve made up the Looky Lou’s playing a role and not running to rescue ‘Lil Kubla who… Is definitely being manhandled and seemingly violated? Who knows! I do…
Deed done the male zips his clothing while she turns around and just stand there, shaking her head at him. He slaps her, she doesn’t recoil but keeps standing. Inside his car he notices me, “donut’s” in my direction and comes screeching to a halt. He doesn’t get out but lowers his window and intimidates the words “You got a problem”. His problem was that he hadn’t recognized Shorty B. who now has blocked all possibly exit routes and; speaks softly in his direction. “Hey, if you wanna start something keep running your mouth”. My man Shorty B….
For me, it was obvious the intensity of ‘Lil Kubla personal drive and recognized her skills long ago, she luved to push the envelope so to speak. Like with men and women of today, despite of what I do professionally as tough as she had “pressed up on me”, it may have been only a matter of time ‘til. The emotional tension pushed us over into Lust Land. Hence, I moved first. Shorty B. heard me out and gladly offered to cover my back. That’s what men do. We sharpen one another and he knew enough about life to know under the circumstances, “BMIBH” (Black Man In Beverly Hills), it would be a tragedy when the Po Po pulled up and I was identified as the aggressor.
‘Lil Kubla came to me as the car and the male pulled off into the darkness of the night. Not about to be tricked into believing “Foolio” was leaving so willfully, Short B. followed in the same direction. Talking with her I found out why she carried her gun. It wasn’t limited to the need in case she found herself in a compromising position with someone from the outside, but. As a precaution if and when Hubby got to…
Hubby was the one she truly held fear of, Hubby… Who took what he decided was his and in his mind she was his property. She reiterated her hatred towards him and said she should have pulled the trigger when he first pulled up. My conclusion was why? Under the unfolding, “up lifting” circumstances, her libido was higher than ever. Some situations have a way of increasing the tensions between two people who find themselves in a “compromising sequences” of events and she exhibited all the classic signs. Not to say she sought this, but… I know if she wanted to shoot, she’d of shot.
When speaking with another simple listen to the way the other speaks. The slight nuances as the syllabic sounds trail off. Recognize the tremble in the voice, all obvious and all indications of what’s going on deeper in the psyche. She wanted out of her mundane life but… FOLK become accustom to life’s customs. She wasn’t going anywhere at least not at this point. Hubby had Drama and she knew the possibilities of an instant script change. She lived with the man, knew exactly what he’d assume since she’d been leaving the home on the same night, at the same time, each week. Did she think I’d not think he’d eventually follow her? What is known is with so much stuff churning within One’s mind a release point has to be identified. Which is to say; I knew enough to have Shorty B. run the interference I needed.
In order to make it within the structure of any InnerPersonal relationship a paradigm change has to be made. With the basic dynamic of the relationship now in flux, what was not acceptable yesterday is definitely up front and center today. Avoidance of this reality is how One gets caught up… The shift in perception can be simple when One knows the futility of One’s actions. The causes and effect which are gonna usher in consequences most don’t intent to adjust to or deal with. What ‘Lil Kubla thought she knew had been created from a collection of impressions taken from images seen via Media presentations. “The Hunt” is real and from a visual point this Hunt has a built in stimuli that seeps deep into One’s already over stimulated psyche. Before it’s realized, you’ve been lead to the entrance of The Rabbit Hole and pushed inside. ‘Lil Kubla seeking much, wanting more settled for her perceived Storybook life. What she didn’t know was the flip side of that offered even more intoxicating dangers.
Tic Toc Tic Toc, the same sound of any timepiece, even those that have become so advance through technology ’til they run silent. Time still moves on and… The seasons change but The Game remains the same. ‘Lil Kubla had progressed from where it all began to where she found herself with me. What she missed was much like “Anna Mae Bullock” from Nutbush Tennessee did once she had made her way into Ike’s world. She morphed and didn’t wanna accept it.
Everyone aspires to participate but few wanna accept the actual cost for admission. Genghis Khan descended in or around 1162 establishing The Great Khan Empire. Kublai his G.D. (Grand Son) continued the philosophy advancing the nomadic people his ancestors spawned from. ‘Lil Kubla shared that blood line. What she didn’t retain was the values defined by her; Bloodline. She said as much during those “private moments” when everything had already transpired and we took a moment for the re-charge. She hated being married, loved her children but didn’t want to have anything to do with raising them on a day to day basis. Once she asked me was she a bad person. “Bad”, what is that? Emotionally she was shot. Psychologically she had become contaminated and it could all be traced to forgetting where she came from and who she was. What she became was a result of… Stuff happens. She wasn’t F**ked up as she said so many times while crying after the fact. Confused; yes. Compromised because she allowed others to tamper with her emotional balance but ‘cha know; that’s life.
From an Anthropology point she came from a tribal existence. So what, everybody does. A vassal is a feudal society which is the same social mix today’s societies have evolved to be; Persons/Places dependent on another place full of persons. When one assumes they are better or so much different than the other, that’s when the tricks begin to go on display. Tricks are used to create psychological conflict so that it is easier to invade One’s mind. When deep inside the One with Trickeration sprinkles Pixie Dust, thoughts become clouded and what had been apparent becomes… Slightly blurred. They blink in an attempt to re-gain clarity but… They’ve already been placed in a position conducive for the trick’s completion. Debauchery is spread.
Gun Powder was made to celebrate life once achievement were accomplished. Gun Powder like life has a duality. It sparks an explosion, boom goes the sound of any Fire Works just after ignition resulting in a fabulous display of colors and sound. FOLK are amazed. What isn’t realized is the other side of this; capable, new chemical interaction. Gun Powder can also be used in a destructive sense. The inventor of Gun Powder just as the FOLK who created the Atomic Bomb didn’t want to participate in the second act of their creation. My thing is; I am the Second act and I’m not; “Captn’ Save A Ho”. DNA identifies 40% Kushite with 25 percent Mali, and eight % Dutch which is to say, somebody in the great great past of my FAM was deep into the swirl. Regardless, Kushite is the 25 Dynasty. Just like ‘Lil Kubla we both come from remarkable bloodlines. The key is to step off the merry go round and recognize. We’re not too far removed from what was. Sex is a biological need. Livin’ on top of the hill lookin’ down merely means; you can afford to pick and choose from a safer distance. Doesn’t mean you up on that hill are any better. Everybody is a toxic mess but that isn’t a prescript for others to be allowed to have all that control over another’s life. But… Ya know what, ‘Lil Kubla is fine on all this. She wasn’t expecting rescue from me. She did know if she’d of “holla out” she’d of been swept away from all that had transpired, even on the highly visible, recorded streets of Beverly Hills. As for the others, staring, becoming excited while in the comfines of their automobiles; she nor I ever thought for a moment they’d spring into action and formulate an Evac. It’s just not in FOLK, or… Not ‘til support of another becomes publicly fashionable.
“Pullin’ The Layers Back” under any circumstances is a tricky affair, much like “the first hit”. You go there, sample the… “Sample” and somewhere in your psyche’ a compulsion is activated. The pull begins and you return again and again, just so you can experience that initial acceleration again and again and again, but… The 1st hit is always the best; ‘cept; for those who understand the evolution of the mechanics of the move itself. Once “The Seal” has been broken, a resealing takes place on a psychological level extending to the emotional palate. When conditions are right and the feelings become real once again, the first hit can be re-experienced therefore, re-opened on any given night.
Life, comes with built-in addictive properties more so where a vice is concerned. But, was ‘Lil Kubla dealing with a vice? Are the reasons for her “dis-connect” from what she created based on DNA or? The list compiled holding these answers will grow with little to no additional thought and everything added can be found in the excuse pile. What One becomes is usually traced back to excuses. When getting with another if… When you see the signs that it’s not a good thing for “you”, stop the roller coaster ride. ‘Lil Kubla was where she was based on her own failures to address what she didn’t want to be about. Then again, One’s significant other can become an “AzzHole” and that behavior can be masked making it difficult to see or accept. Usually the realization comes too late and at a steep price. When you’re in it and have compromised your true feelings, you won’t just cash in and say it ain’t working. Putting it in the Lawyers’ hands isn’t a viable move either. But… With her, these didn’t appear to be any of the issues. Maybe she was… Addicted to the massive release of chemicals when; intimately engaged. She was bored and as a result was on the prowl. Sex was the great equalized and the chemical reliance was the blast once the trigger released the explosion.
Psssss; Manipulation..? Don’t think so, today’s battle cry from a female advocacy is they can’t speak up because they’ve been manipulated into the position they voice as compelling. If this is the case why is it when the same Advocates achieve the separation from one with another a large percentage of those advocating “Get Out Now” move to… Inject themselves into the lives of those they say they are there to; protect? Oh yes, I do this and I’ve grown within this.