Primal, could be viewed in the sense of something ancient. Primal, on the other end of the spectrum is said to be original.
Handicap. A lot of times a term used within the vernacular reserved to those participating in games of chance. I write about love which in essence is a fully accelerated game of supreme chance. One in which, if you win, the emotional/psychological benefits will be enormous. My drive is purely primal, in the O.G. phase; straight up. I’m not handicapped in any of my pursuits because of one constant. I play to win. Winning is everything primarily because… This is the original foundation that guarantees life!
She thought she was pretty. What she was defined sexy more than any thing. Pretty… Well, I’ll leave her in the attractive mode at best. You see, motivations are triggered by exact characteristics with pretty moving one to a different level of approach when in full pursuit of the opposite sex. She, definitely sexy. Without sexy being first on deck, there is no game, there is no motivation there is no; gains.
Confidence dripped off of me. I didn’t fool myself into believing anything other than the truth about who and what I was. I noticed her based on that one trait which gave her that “bam” effect. She, on the other hand was blown away by my confidence and because of it allowed it to expand into whatever realm she wanted it to define. Didn’t matter to me. Just by how she presented herself “Game” as they say, was on.
It’s amazing how two people can meet and neither will accept what was the attraction from the beginning. Relationships start, time passes, they prosper, stars fill the vision and the image of who and what each are to the other becomes cloudy. Many times by those who dealt within this sphere I was always asked, “You love me don’t ‘cha“. This was usually followed by, “I’m the prettiest woman you’ve every had so you’d better act right“. I’d hear ’em and wanted to give ’em a can of “act right” mainly because they’d had no clue how to act with me on deck.
I, much like many have gotten so far out there with the pursuits of social designs created within the recessed corridors of my imaginative mind ’til I’ve settled way too much. It was not that I didn’t know why I had engaged with the one I was with but more so “how did I let myself fall so deep with the one I had only intended to “hit and split from”. “Real Talk“, once we taste certain fruit with an anticipated idea of how sweet it will be, that same fruit explodes deep within us. Initially it was just a meal to satisfy if only for a moment, but. Now that it has found a home so to speak other qualities of the same fruit rise to the surface and… The “peach” becomes the living definition of every peach meant to hang from any tree. Oh yes, metaphor galore. Just like He or She from the perspective of another’s mind. People see what they wanna see. Believe in what they want.
Such has been life according to “The 22nd G” and the conclusion is, we as a species are so caught up in illusions ’til we have eluded ourselves. At least when in the presence of others. It’s when one is alone, safely tucked away and with their private thoughts that the real pops out. Well, maybe for those conscious like me. When people are abused they wanna strike back. Bring the pain so the abuser can experience the same range of emotions that the one initially abused felt. I’m no different but then again, I am. I’ve acquired a taste for utilizing my energy for positive pursuits. Getting back, making sure the score is even doesn’t equate into the win. Like when “She” demanded from me, those all empowering words that she was the prettiest female I’ve ever had. There she was in all her… “Sexiness“. The glance was nonchalant, done purposely. Not to psychologically or emotionally wound, just to convey a point. Casually I looked her over and what wasn’t seen by most was way evident by me. She was trapped in her fake ass world and would probably strike out at me if… If those words of empowerment didn’t slip from between my lips. Well… It just wasn’t her day.
This piece is an exercise in reality. I have understood the complexities of foolishness since way back when. A situation developed whereas another female after runnin’ off at the mouth about herself inquired about mine. I got all of 43 seconds to engage before she cut me off and flipped the convo back to her life. Was I mad? Dogs go mad and I’ve never had an ounce of the rabies vaccination cause I don’t run with packs of wild animals. Still, this woman got a bar of the real. As she continued to take me down one of her life’s more glorious lanes, in her disguised attempt to move my mind to where she always said she had no intention of going, I… I handed her a tissue to wipe the tears from her eyes that the personal aspects of the touching story evoked. While I dapped those crocodile tears away, I gave her those eye signals. She caught ’em way before I wanted her to which… Indicated she knew that I knew that punanna was on fire and if only I could get rid of my comrade, she’d take me home with the quickness to increase the intensity of the fire.
“Do I Do“, words expressed by a musical genius, Stevie Wonder. Stevie could twist a cord, create a melody outta thin air. Lace words together and make you know he was the real deal. I am not so wonderful but I can tell all that I don’t fool myself into believing I’m something I’m not. This woman like the other “peach” hadn’t realized I didn’t just explore an orchard, I’ve owned groves of peach trees. Why? Because the women in my life have committed way before I arrived into their lives. Committed to the idea that they’d have one who made them know they were the one who could accomplish anything as long as. Well, as long as that made them feel like no other man had ever done or would do!
Don’t quite get it? Read it again. And again, and even a few more times. Like a song that you’ve heard time and time again only to one day, when you’re alone, all by your lonesome. Steal away with your thoughts, isolated, un-disturbed by others and… You heard the song. The same song that finally unlocks those recessive thoughts which defined you in your totality, then… As if visualizing for the first time a, lunar eclipse much is realized. I luv this song. The words. The melody. The rhythm. All speaks to me. They define what I’ve always envisioned of… Hummm, “Me”.
Psssss; Truth Be Told. It was all about you in the first place. You just wouldn’t accept or define your place which weakened your power. See ‘ya.
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